Is "Ghosting" common with someone with Aspergers?

[SNT]

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[Streetwise]

he cant communicate mature feelings by words we do it by actions
we are like young infants and female ASPIES autists are different from male ASPIES we are much more like an nt
some nt women have described having children and an aspie husband as having two babies you have to learn our language we are continually shattered from translating yours

 

[tree]

I didn't know what "ghosting" meant.

Dictionary.com defines ghosting as
“the practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person
without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship.”
Ghosting | Dictionary.com Blog

 

[Kirsty]

I didn't know what "ghosting" meant.

Dictionary.com defines ghosting as
“the practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person
without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship.”
Ghosting | Dictionary.com Blog

Neither did I until now.

 

[SNT]

he cant communicate mature feelings by words we do it by actions
we are like young infants and female ASPIES autists are different from male ASPIES we are much more like an nt
some nt women have described having children and an aspie husband as having two babies you have to learn our language we are continually shattered from translating yours

he cant communicate mature feelings by words we do it by actions
we are like young infants and female ASPIES autists are different from male ASPIES we are much more like an nt
some nt women have described having children and an aspie husband as having two babies you have to learn our language we are continually shattered from translating yours

Thank you so much for your reply! That's why I asked, because the last thing I want to do is make things harder for him. So I should just be patient, and wait for him to get back to me? I am very willing to try to learn his language, and just hoping that he will give me the chance.

 

[VioletHaze_03]

I think this kind of behaviour is normal, but it all depends on the person. since I have experienced this with a few of my aspie friends I can say that he probably wants to communicate on his terms- hence why he has not texted in the time frame you expect. he may not want to dwell on talking about it, as he feels he may not have anything else to say. his going silent makes a lot of sense, I know when I feel i have said enough about something that is not in my niche of interests, I won't talk to the person about it any longer. he might also feel you are asking a bit much (in a non insulting way, of course) when you asked for his phone number. commitment is difficult for a lot of aspies. just because we take breaks from communication doesn't mean we care any less, we just don't have the capacity to show it at the time, or it might be too overwhelming. don't push anything, forcing someone to do something will only make them likely to push you away. this is the best advice I can offer, because I don't know you or your friend personally.

 

[Bolletje]

Ghosting is pretty common in online dating and online interactions in a broader sense. Whether the person you're in contact with is an aspie or not.

 

[SNT]

I think this kind of behaviour is normal, but it all depends on the person. since I have experienced this with a few of my aspie friends I can say that he probably wants to communicate on his terms- hence why he has not texted in the time frame you expect. he may not want to dwell on talking about it, as he feels he may not have anything else to say. his going silent makes a lot of sense, I know when I feel i have said enough about something that is not in my niche of interests, I won't talk to the person about it any longer. he might also feel you are asking a bit much (in a non insulting way, of course) when you asked for his phone number. commitment is difficult for a lot of aspies. just because we take breaks from communication doesn't mean we care any less, we just don't have the capacity to show it at the time, or it might be too overwhelming. don't push anything, forcing someone to do something will only make them likely to push you away. this is the best advice I can offer, because I don't know you or your friend personally.

Thank you! What you said makes sense to me now, too, and I'm more than willing to give him the space he needs. My only concern is that the trip is in three weeks, and it's across an ocean, so I won't know what to do if he doesn't get back to me in the next few weeks. Stay home? Or go anyway, since he hasn't said he doesn't want me to come? For clarification, I didn't ask for his phone number, although I gave him mine if he needed it. He has never used it, and I have never pushed him to. He gave me his number on his own a few months later, in case I might need to reach him quickly, since he often goes several days without checking his email, but as of yet, I haven't used it either.

 

[SNT]

Ghosting is pretty common in online dating and online interactions in a broader sense. Whether the person you're in contact with is an aspie or not.

Thanks. Yes, that's true. I guess my question was if it was common for male Aspies to Ghost after 9 months of being really close to someone. It just seems really out of character for him, but he also seems stressed lately, so I'm trying to understand him better.

 

[Bolletje]

Thanks. Yes, that's true. I guess my question was if it was common for male Aspies to Ghost after 9 months of being really close to someone. It just seems really out of character for him, but he also seems stressed lately, so I'm trying to understand him better.

I understand your question, to which I can only say: for some male Aspies perhaps. For some male neurotypicals as well. It would be easy if all Aspies came with the same predefined set of traits and a manual, but that's not the case. Might as well ask if it's common for male gingers to ghost Yes, they share that haircolor as a trait, but that doesn't define them either.

 

[SNT]

I understand your question, to which I can only say: for some male Aspies perhaps. For some male neurotypicals as well. It would be easy if all Aspies came with the same predefined set of traits and a manual, but that's not the case. Might as well ask if it's common for male gingers to ghost Yes, they share that haircolor as a trait, but that doesn't define them either.

I understand! Thank you.

 

[Streetwise]

he wont like change thats how his brain is wired ,a lot of people on the spectrum prepare themselves for change so he may react calmly ???
but you have to admit to yourself can you cope with what is and could be happening
if HES mentally well youll know we are very black and white
one fact autism has one of a few definitions the extreme male brain

Thank you! What you said makes sense to me now, too, and I'm more than willing to give him the space he needs. My only concern is that the trip is in three weeks, and it's across an ocean, so I won't know what to do if he doesn't get back to me in the next few weeks. Stay home? Or go anyway, since he hasn't said he doesn't want me to come? For clarification, I didn't ask for his phone number, although I gave him mine if he needed it. He has never used it, and I have never pushed him to. He gave me his number on his own a few months later, in case I might need to reach him quickly, since he often goes several days without checking his email, but as of yet, I haven't used it either.

 

[Judge]

I don't know if you're being deliberately "ghosted" or not. However if it were me, I know the closer to the date you were coming, the more nervous I'd be about it. No telling how such nervousness might manifest itself in other unwanted ways!

 

[SNT]

he wont like change thats how his brain is wired ,a lot of people on the spectrum prepare themselves for change so he may react calmly ???
but you have to admit to yourself can you cope with what is and could be happening
if HES mentally well youll know we are very black and white
one fact autism has one of a few definitions the extreme male brain

It occurred to me that he might be so busy because he's preparing for my visit. Of course, I won't know the full answer to your question until I get to be around him and see how we both respond to each other. I can only base it on how we have been with eath other so far, and as I said, he has been very sweet and respectful, so I'm hoping that when we meet in person, we will both continue to be so.

 

[Kirsty]

I've experienced this, sadly, with someone who has borderline personality disorder. No explanation, nothing. Gone forever and we were very close. She eventually contacted me after about ten months and said she'd do anything to have me back in her life, but it didn't happen.

 

[SNT]

I don't know if you're being deliberately "ghosted" or not. However if it were me, I know the closer to the date you were coming, the more nervous I'd be about it. No telling how such nervousness might manifest itself in other unwanted ways!

Thank you! Is there anything that I can do to relieve his stress? Everyone's answers have been so helpful, and obviously, I will give him all the space he needs until the day I'm leaving. But anything else that would make it easier for him?

 

[SNT]

I've experienced this, sadly, with someone who has borderline personality disorder. No explanation, nothing. Gone forever and we were very close. She eventually contacted me after about ten months and said she'd do anything to have me back in her life, but it didn't happen.

Wow, I'm so sorry that happened to you.

 

[Judge]

Thank you! Is there anything that I can do to relieve his stress? Everyone's answers have been so helpful, and obviously, I will give him all the space he needs until the day I'm leaving. But anything else that would make it easier for him?

Just be patient with him, no matter how awkward he may seem at first in person. I suspect once he has established a comfort level with you he'll become more relaxed. I know I would.

 

[SNT]

Just be patient with him, no matter how awkward he may seem at first in person. I suspect once he has established a comfort level with you he'll become more relaxed. I know I would.

Thank you! You've all just made me feel a whole lot better!

 

[Streetwise]

try and get him to open up HES sensitive so say you DONT want to be alone in a strange country if HES not prepared for contact did he seem psychologically secure to you a lot of people are very insecure

It occurred to me that he might be so busy because he's preparing for my visit. Of course, I won't know the full answer to your question until I get to be around him and see how we both respond to each other. I can only base it on how we have been with eath other so far, and as I said, he has been very sweet and respectful, so I'm hoping that when we meet in person, we will both continue to be so.