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Featured "I'm worried about you."

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by peoplesrjames, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. peoplesrjames

    peoplesrjames Well-Known Member

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    Does anyone else get tired of hearing this phrase from NTs? I normally feel pretty good or even keeled, but people always ask me if I'm alright.
     
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  2. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    Yes. My Mum is the worst for this, whether it be in person or via daily text messages.
     
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  3. LittleLemon

    LittleLemon Well-Known Member

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    Yes, and then the next time I see them, I feel paranoid and put on an act. I have one aunt in law tell me that both my mother in law and other aunt are worried about me because I looked so sad last time. I don't want people fussing over me.
     
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  4. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    "Why don't you smile? What's wrong?"

    Oh yeah...used to hear it a lot. :eek:
     
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  5. Clintos

    Clintos Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Why don't I smile? why don't I talk? why don't you say hi? why you leaving so early?why you staring at the ground for? etc etc....
     
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  6. xDominiel

    xDominiel Well-Known Member

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    These questions.. How do you even answer them?

    >"Why don't you ever talk?"

    Maybe I just don't have anything I want to say. *person gets offended*

    >"Why don't you ever smile?"

    It actually has nothing to do with my mood because I can be pretty content and not smile, but step into my shoes for the past twenty years and then ask me again. -_-
     
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  7. tw3

    tw3 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    "Who do you think you are?"
    Code language having nothing to do with your identity.

    "How are you?" "Fine."
    Any more than that is unwanted. They really don't care.

    I used to think that NTs were semi-literate because they used words and phrases illogically. If you ask what they mean they think you are mouthing off because "everyone" knows. So do you, really, NOT.

    Forgive my rant.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2016
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  8. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    And to add to it, many cultures expect women to be cheerful and smiling and flattering and fussing all the freakin time...

    I had men come up to me and demand a smile! Like it was their due!
     
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  9. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member

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  10. Streetwise

    Streetwise Well-Known Member

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    Hello peoplerjames
    Yep my nana (grandma)made me feel like crying
    And people at secondary /private school
    Problem is anxiety is very common in autism and wasn't dealt with in my generation /country-im in England
    Find prayer helps as yeshua (Jesus) is very quick to react
    Stopping
     
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  11. ksheehan88

    ksheehan88 :)

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    Yeah its irritating.

    But I do it to other people aswell, mainly because I can tell somethings off, but can't put mt finger on it so ask.
     
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  12. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    I'm regularly told to smile by strangers. Or to cheer up. I'm like, this is just my face. I'm well aware that I have resting ***** face, it doesn't mean that I am sad, it's just how my face looks at rest.
     
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  13. WereBear

    WereBear License to Weird V.I.P Member

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    It is a warped form of empathy, I think. They pick up on perceived distress, but their response goes off the rails. They should be sympathetic, and instead they often go all, "Stop making me feel things! Put your mask on!"
     
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  14. JuliaCee

    JuliaCee Well-Known Member

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    I went through a period of time several years ago when an acquaintance was so "worried" about me, she shared her worries with several others, including people whom I knew professionally. The potential impact on my business was scary, and it didn't do a lot for my social anxiety either. Fortunately, she stopped her public worrying when it became expensive for her to continue, and my business survived the impact, but the increased social anxiety within the context of the community has remained.
     
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  15. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    OMGosh. That was just an excuse for gossip. A lady did to me once. Went way over board and then just dropped me. Creepy.
     
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  16. peoplesrjames

    peoplesrjames Well-Known Member

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    I always leave functions early. Once I get overwhelmed I physically cannot stay there.
     
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  17. Oleg Steptoe

    Oleg Steptoe New Member

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    Me too. Big time. I once told a boorish type 'Don't tell me to smile' and it floored him enough to stop him for a while. Then he started up again.
    Strangers like to bark at me to smile or the faux-polite ones do this classic: 'Are you okaaaayyyyyyy?'
    But I live in a 'working class' town whose industry died way back when and the culture is stuck back there.
     
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  18. Kirsty

    Kirsty Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Omg, I know. How are they supposed to respond? I find this so inconsiderate, almost. They don't really want to know if you're 'okay.'

    My boss stood beside a customer and chimed "Are you okaaaayyyyy?" as she was sitting there staring into space. Obviously, she wasn't... Later, I calmly sat down at her level and asked her what she wanted. I think my genuine concern was much more appreciated than my boss's.
     
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  19. David Rosales

    David Rosales New Member

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    Praise the Lawd, Brother

    You can say it again! Amen!
     
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  20. Oleg Steptoe

    Oleg Steptoe New Member

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    I'm really cynical so I think of it like this.: They're not really asking; I call it non-asking a non-question. They know the person is "Not OK" and they're telling the person, "You'd better not be 'Not OK'" but they put it in the form of a question.
    It's still Not OK to be Not OK... Cos that's Not Right!

    Told you I'm cynical. I even love Diogenes! (And I finally saw True Detective 1st season. That guy McConaughey plays is the best ever!)
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2016
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