If you could remove one fragment of Asd what would it be?

[Clintos]

Being in social situation. And being able to make or even hold a conversation even thought that 2 things

That's mine too, I for some reason I get too shy and freeze in person. It's like my mind is empty. But on the computer, where I can take as long as possible to come up with a response or make a statement and type, it seems a lot easier. Maybe just typing on the computer can improve communicational skills?

 

[Maria6681]

That's mine too, I for some reason I get too shy and freeze in person. It's like my mind is empty. But on the computer, where I can take as long as possible to come up with a response or make a statement and type, it seems a lot easier. Maybe just typing on the computer can improve communicational skills?[/QUOTE.

 

[Maria6681]

That happens to me I go completely blank and if someone ask me a question I normal reply with a one word answer. But sometimes when I give like a sentence my speech goes funny and my words don't come out

 

[Clintos]

I here you, that is why I do not speak unless I really have to. like order fast food.

 

[Maria6681]

I here you, that is why I do not speak unless I really have to. like order fast food.

People think it so easy to talk and make conversation. Yet I find it so hard. When I have I just look so stupid I would like for who ever I was talking to. To have a quick swop with to see what it like and then they would get it. Instead of thinking that I am not interested or being rude or think that I think I am better as some people have said I am stuck up. And really all I want to do is actually have a conversation lol

 

[Clintos]

If only they can walk in our shoes, then they would understand. I get that too people think I am rude when in reality I am just not that good and the art of conversation. It does not come naturally for us. But, the more you practice the better you get. for me I missed a lot of grade school this effected my ability of putting paragraphs together. And not being able to put paragraphs together, effected my ability to but a thesis together in high school. I think if I work on what I missed growing up, then maybe speaking in public would be easier for me. I never really communicated when I was younger and my mother never expressed her feelings for me nor did she speak to me too much growing up. This I feel effected my speech and social skills. Not that I am blaming my mom entirely, because she may of did her best, and that I was probably just autistic from birth.

 

[toothless]

id hate to change anything about myself,i am used to being me and i would detest any change i dont care that i leave myself with some quite significant communication,sensory,interaction,behavioral and social impairments,i wouldnt be me without them,i really hate any kind of change.

 

[Clintos]

I find that we as humans, we are forever changing, whether we like it or not. imo

I get your point thou, it is best to accept ourselves as is. And, I am working on that.

I like this quote:

Accept the things you can not change, change the things you can, and have the knowledge to know the difference.

 

[Maria6681]

Yes that makes sense not thought of it like that me to as a child I did not really talk to anyone. I have 2 brothers and a sister. I was a very scared child and other kids did not take to not that I can blam them as I was not easy to get on with as i was probably scared of what they could do it was a way of protecting myself.but ended ended up causing myself more damage than good. As where ever I got moved to they never had me for to long. I grow up despises myself haeting every about I thought I was a freak a rejection as my siblings never had the problem I had. But now I no y for a lot of the things or the way I was so I am happy to know that it was something I could not control

 

[Clintos]

true I think you are a very loving individual that is well intentioned. I have faith in you, you seem like a person that wants to improve themselves, like me. Because imo, we know there are no other options, we can go up, down, or remain the same. I chose up.

 

[toothless]

I find that we as humans, we are forever changing, whether we like it or not. imo

I get your point thou, it is best to accept ourselves as is. And, I am working on that.

I like this quote:

Accept the things you can not change, change the things you can, and have the knowledge to know the difference.

i absolutely love that saying clintos, it comes from AA/the twelve step programmes doesnt it? yes i see your view,i didnt think of that,we do change,ive definitely changed from about 2 years ago even.

though...i think you have a great mind clintos,and you dont have to change yourself to go far,you just need acceptance and accomodation from the right people,i believe in the social model of disability-it is society that needs to change for us,rather than us change for society.

 

[Maria6681]

true I think you are a very loving individual that is well intentioned. I have faith in you, you seem like a person that wants to improve themselves, like me. Because imo, we know there are no other options, we can go up, down, or remain the same. I chose up.

Thank you. And I 100% agree with you up is the way I choose

 

[Clintos]

i absolutely love that saying clintos, it comes from AA/the twelve step programmes doesnt it? yes i see your view,i didnt think of that,we do change,ive definitely changed from about 2 years ago even.

though...i think you have a great mind clintos,and you dont have to change yourself to go far,you just need acceptance and accomodation from the right people,i believe in the social model of disability-it is society that needs to change for us,rather than us change for society.

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

I believe society needs to change for us, I agree. I just feel that if we can change ourselves and have the ability to change, then it would make the world a better place for everyone if we met them half way. You know if we could change, not for the ones that can not. We need to accept that they can not change.

Yes i got that from AA I went through a 90 day program in 2001. Another 2 quotes I like are:

Never point a finger at someone because if you look at your hand there are 3 fingers pointing back

In order to change, you have to be willing to change the people, places and things, so that you do not remain the same.

How did you know that, that quote came from AA, toothless?

In AA they once called me the great pretender, lol I do not know why but they said that I also ask alot of questions which is a good thing apparently too.

But it is probably my ADHD.

 

[toothless]

Thanks, that means a lot to me.

I believe society needs to change for us, I agree. I just feel that if we can change ourselves and have the ability to change, then it would make the world a better place for everyone if we met them half way. You know if we could change, not for the ones that can not. We need to accept that they can not change.

Yes i got that from AA I went through a 90 day program in 2001. Another 2 quotes I like are:

Never point a finger at someone because if you look at your hand there are 3 fingers pointing back

In order to change, you have to be willing to change the people, places and things, so that you do not remain the same.

How did you know that, that quote came from AA, toothless?

In AA they once called me the great pretender, lol I do not know why but they said that I also ask alot of questions which is a good thing apparently too.

But it is probably my ADHD.

i completely agree clintos,i changed my head banging behavior in front of my two nieces because i didnt want them picking up the behavior so i can understand the good sides to change,and meeting half way is a good thing it shows we are willing to work at it and not just expect everything our way.

what does the first saying mean about pointing fingers?

i have been to al anon before,do you know of them? they often said that saying in the meetings,i have a drink problem myself [though dependency more than alcoholic] and my mum is a long time severe alcoholic.
i absolutely hate the crushing anxiety that comes with autism-which is why i drink and i suppose id love to remove it its the idea of change that my brain resists.

 

[Mr Allen]

What needs to change is idiot Daily Fail readers who think all disabled people are workshy benefit scroungers, and the likes of Katie Hopkins need to disappear, or just shut their fat gobs.

 

[Clintos]

What needs to change is idiot Daily Fail readers who think all disabled people are workshy benefit scroungers, and the likes of Katie Hopkins need to disappear, or just shut their fat gobs.

I'm on disability and have a paper route for extra money and feel like a sponge, I feel bad for the severely disabled and hope to one day get off the government tit. I know I deserve to be on it right now. But I want off it, for I feel that I am a strain on the system. There is no way I could do certain jobs, so what I am doing is just working on what I can and hope that in the end everything will even out in the wash.

 

[Clintos]

i completely agree clintos,i changed my head banging behavior in front of my two nieces because i didnt want them picking up the behavior so i can understand the good sides to change,and meeting half way is a good thing it shows we are willing to work at it and not just expect everything our way.

what does the first saying mean about pointing fingers?

i have been to al anon before,do you know of them? they often said that saying in the meetings,i have a drink problem myself [though dependency more than alcoholic] and my mum is a long time severe alcoholic.
i absolutely hate the crushing anxiety that comes with autism-which is why i drink and i suppose id love to remove it its the idea of change that my brain resists.

Pointing fingers is when I for example, point my finger and say something negative about someone, then when I look at my hand there are 3 negative things about myself pointing at me.

I heard of Al Anon, they seem to be very similar to AA alcoholics anonymous, I leaned alot from them but it took a long time to become sober. I still drink but they taught me to control it and to keep trying to become sober.

Yeah I feel more laid back when I drink, except I get into a lot of trouble, so I only drink 1 x a week and in small amounts. Small amount to what I use to drink, lol.

I'm not perfect. I feel laid back now that my psychiatrist has me on abilify a anti-psychotic, I feel I am ready to quit drinking all together in the near future.

In my head I need something as a reward for quiting drinking and that will be marjuana someday. I am just waiting for it to be legal and be considered recreational here in Canada. And when I do use it it will be in small amounts and used responsibly.

 

[Telsa]

Definitely the poor social skills.

 

[Chris Russell]

I'm still finding my way around all the pros and cons, but the one thing that makes me sad whenever I am reminded it of it, is the inability to share the experience of joy. It's not that I don't feel joy - The most unremarkable things can make me feel joy... it's just that what makes me joyful will almost certainly be something that will not be shared by those around me at the time. Add to this the near certainty that the things that provoke joy in those around me will leave usually leave me cold (and obliged to 'act' joyfully, in order to avoid being labelled a bore or a kill-joy.)

Joy is such a fleeting and precious thing, and so rooted in the social experience, the inability to share it with others always serves to remind me of the downside of being different. Having said that, the rarer than rare occasions when the instant of joy is shared by those around you is a joy in it's purest sense! (The only example I can think of is when a fellow Aspie unexpectedly used Euler's Identity (a mathematical equation) to demonstrate a point in a presentation... On this occasion, the fact that we were the only two people in the room who got the point made it all the more wonderful!)

 

[ADCguy]

I wouldnt take away anything from my aspergers, i would remove my sense of self so that i can be whatever people want me to be without it causing stress. With my type of aspergers i cant do anything without faking something about myself and i wish i didnt have to lie to myself