I Took A Stand For Us- I think?

[OkRad]

OK, so you know how it has been hell in the gym. They are playing that screeching music loud, so loud it drowns out your ipod. After being there, I felt like I wanted to scream and once I hit sensory overload WHILE THERE and melted down. remember, this was my safe place so it's extra horrible for me. Part of my routine and safe!! Not now.

So I contacted the CEO and branch manager and spilled my guts with a very well put together letter which was not slamming or raving. It explained I have a head injury with neuro sequelae predicated on autism and explained that the trouble with sensory over load extends to and other neuro disorders. And the eldery generally have a trouble with that crap.

I then asked if it would be possible to offer quiet times for those who cannot tolerate that constant bombardment of music that can throw us into sensory overload. I mentioned how many cases of head injuries a year and how there are increasing cases of autism.

I also offered, if they did this, to be a voice for that program and contact places like the autism societies nearby, elderly centres, brain injury centres and even military organizations which may have people dealing with mtbis. In short, I offered my help to make it a success.

Now I feel vulnerable but I also feel I did the right thing. I do not think I should be ashamed for my troubles. maybe they should be for being thoughtless when not one person there was without their own music to DROWN THAT CRAP OUT.

Anyway, do you guys think I did the right thing? I hear that many of you would find that music intolerable as well. But I also hear that a lot of you would rather have bad music than no music, so I am not sure I represented us as accurate as I thought. So now I just feel like I am outvoted and have to move back to a place I hated to get to the other gym which is quiet.

The environment of this place has TOTALLY changed. It was a peaceful place and now it's like a madhouse, all edgy, people grabbing at the weights, no more being polite because no one can hear you now. People used to talk and say HI and some even shared about their life, their faiths, their families.

Now it's "Get the F outta my way buddy. You got the 30lb weight! Hurry the F up"

<sigh> Would love feedback.

 

[xudo]

I commend you for this. Yes there are people here (and probably NT's too) who would prefer any music to no music...but that's why we have iPod's

I think more places are realising that we are a larger minority than they thought, and I see more and more places offering things like 'autism friendly' times. A few cinemas by me offer showings like this and the theatre in town does performances that are autism friendly too.

You should be proud!

 

[OkRad]

You just made me happy! And that is a feat these day! Thank you!!

 

[Bolletje]

I think it's brave of you to have done this. And I think you went about it the right way. You didn't demand they turn off the music because it troubles you, you asked for a timeslot where you, and likeminded individuals, can enjoy the gym in relative silence. You offered a detailed explanation and asked a reasonable question. Of course there's no telling how they will respond, but regardless of that I think you did good.

When I still went to the gym, I went to a tiny place that had special hours for seniors, during otherwise reasonably quiet times. This was my favorite time slot to go to the gym as well, because the music was turned down low, there weren't many people and those who were there were very friendly.

 

[toothless]

im really glad you did this ive done similar to starbucks before and got a result.
if you dont do anything,nothing gets done so its good you have actually complained and put a good letter into them.

i tried attempting a gym a while ago to lose weight but i wasnt there long enough as it was extremely overloading -from the noises of some of the machines to the truly awful crap dance music they boomed out,i hate going places and they have booming music on and lots of people talking,i have to have a lorazapam to stop my behaviors and wear my industrial strength ear defenders on all the time until i get home,which annoys me as it makes my ears go all tinnitussy and sweaty.

 

[OkRad]

im really glad you did this ive done similar to starbucks before and got a result.
if you dont do anything,nothing gets done so its good you have actually complained and put a good letter into them.

i tried attempting a gym a while ago to lose weight but i wasnt there long enough as it was extremely overloading -from the noises of some of the machines to the truly awful crap dance music they boomed out,i hate going places and they have booming music on and lots of people talking,i have to have a lorazapam to stop my behaviors and wear my industrial strength ear defenders on all the time until i get home,which annoys me as it makes my ears go all tinnitussy and sweaty.

Yes, the earplugs hurt so much. I have to shove the industrial little purple ones in first which hurt down in the ear canal. Then I have to put on my own music with headphones over it, because I can still hear the music with only the earplugs. That puts pressure on the earplugs and at the end of the day, my ears hurt so much because I need silence more that I want my own music, but I have to listen to it.

So my ears hurt physically and am totally wiped out from the struggle when I get home.

It makes my stomach sick. That place became my safe place and part of my routine and it's very hard for me to suddenly have it all gone to ***. Like overnight. It is lesson for me. I am seeing that my world is getting squeezed narrower and narrower despite my attempts to "be a part of society." Ha. That is a joke when society keeps beating that crap out me.

I will update on what they say. If they do not help, that means I have to move back with a "friend" who finds me stupid and bizarre, because there is one last gym int he world that offers silence. They have a lot of auties who come in every day from the Society so they are safe, but my living situation would suck.

But if I don't work out, my need to move turns to blatant self harm which flips to SI very fast.

I am so mad. But we will see! Maybe they will work with all of us who need quiet. I will update!! Thank you guys for supporting me in this!!!!

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I think you did the right thing. You won't get these things if you don't ask. They might be happy - they should be, that you took the time to think of this because it makes them look like a much of friendlier place to visit and as many people will say gyms can often be a very intimidating place to start visiting.

 

[Caitie33]

I agree why do they need to blast the music when everyone has and ipod? I think you made a good point that might bother NT people and everyone else too. Maybe if nothing happens you could make a petition to have other gym members sign if they want the gym.

 

[OkRad]

I agree why do they need to blast the music when everyone has and ipod? I think you made a good point that might bother NT people and everyone else too. Maybe if nothing happens you could make a petition to have other gym members sign if they want the gym.

That is a good idea. I have kind of asked around, but I am pretty much the odd one at the place and learned not to talk unless talk to because of my social interaction nightmares! Most people say, "Oh, I have my ipod on. I don't listen to that stuff"

Like you said. They all have their own. So why did they even do it? Just to just torture those of us who hate it? Not a single person LIKES it.

The most I got was that they are so horrified by an hour of silence that even with their own music the very IDEA that nothing is going on to stimulate the very molecules and atoms around them sends them into paroxysms of sheer panic. "OMGosh!! THE WORLD IS ABOUT TO END! EVEN IF I CAN'T HEAR IT!! IT IS ENDING!" It's like if one person still uses their mind without accessories, they get all panicky.

So now not only do NTs want their own personal music blasting all over, but they are now uncomfortable if it's not EVERYWHERE, just there playing and blasting and stimulating the air. People have to have the TV on, the radio, the computer, the lights...........

I can't wait till there are special suits made for NTs that they can step into and it will give them 24/7 stimulation in all 5 senses to such an extent they go blind, deaf, mutilated, dizzy, vomiting and end up in comas. Like us when they overstimulate us, only they will love it.

Then they will not be happy, though, till we are required to wear them, too!

 

[toothless]

Yes, the earplugs hurt so much. I have to shove the industrial little purple ones in first which hurt down in the ear canal. Then I have to put on my own music with headphones over it, because I can still hear the music with only the earplugs. That puts pressure on the earplugs and at the end of the day, my ears hurt so much because I need silence more that I want my own music, but I have to listen to it.

So my ears hurt physically and am totally wiped out from the struggle when I get home.

It makes my stomach sick. That place became my safe place and part of my routine and it's very hard for me to suddenly have it all gone to ***. Like overnight. It is lesson for me. I am seeing that my world is getting squeezed narrower and narrower despite my attempts to "be a part of society." Ha. That is a joke when society keeps beating that crap out me.

I will update on what they say. If they do not help, that means I have to move back with a "friend" who finds me stupid and bizarre, because there is one last gym int he world that offers silence. They have a lot of auties who come in every day from the Society so they are safe, but my living situation would suck.

But if I don't work out, my need to move turns to blatant self harm which flips to SI very fast.

I am so mad. But we will see! Maybe they will work with all of us who need quiet. I will update!! Thank you guys for supporting me in this!!!!

yes you need to find another gym or get some gym equipment of your own if they dont listen to you but at the same time i think moving back with your 'friend' is a bad idea itll affect your mental health.
if the gym reply back and dont listen-you can write a letter to the local newspapers about the plight of autistic people and hyperacusis/ misophonia sufferers plus elderly people who dont like lots of noise, the more pressure that can be put on the gym the better.

definitely keep us updated on what happens,im very interested to know which way the manager takes this.

 

[Allicat]

Oh bravo! IMHO you totally did the right thing, not only for yourself but for all the other folks who didn't, or couldn't, speak up. And from what I gather from your original post it's not like you asked for total silence at all times, just that they offer some alternative quiet times. Completely reasonable to me.

Look at it this way. Lots of movie theaters are now offering movie showings that are sensory friendly. Many art galleries (e.g. Whitney Museum, Dallas Museum of Art) have offered sensory friendly tours and activities. Hell, even the NFL is starting to offer 'autism friendly' programs (check out the Seattle Seahawks program, which inspired the Pro Bowl to do the same this weekend). I believe you've politely let the gym know it's time for them to step up as well.

 

[Caitie33]

Is there somewhere else you could exercise besides the gym? Maybe a trail to walk on. Have you ever tried swimming? I hate gyms and have avoided them altogether by finding different things to do for exercise that are in a peaceful environment. I also have some weights, a mini trampoline, and a punching bag at home.

 

[Judge]

Anyway, do you guys think I did the right thing? I hear that many of you would find that music intolerable as well. But I also hear that a lot of you would rather have bad music than no music, so I am not sure I represented us as accurate as I thought. So now I just feel like I am outvoted and have to move back to a place I hated to get to the other gym which is quiet.

Absolutely. You did the right thing for you and anyone else with similar issues, like so many of us. God bless you for trying.

The environment of this place has TOTALLY changed. It was a peaceful place and now it's like a madhouse, all edgy, people grabbing at the weights, no more being polite because no one can hear you now. People used to talk and say HI and some even shared about their life, their faiths, their families.

Now it's "Get the F outta my way buddy. You got the 30lb weight! Hurry the F up"

<sigh> Would love feedback.

Unfortunately that's always a potential downside of any service catering to the public. Whether a bar or an exercise gym. The social chemistry inherently changes given our very mobile society.

Sadly I have no concise answer to remedy such a thing in general, whether from the perspective of a customer or the proprietor.

Socially stable environments of any kind are likely to be important to most anyone on the spectrum who is willing or able to indulge in them. But the sad reality is that there are few of them that exist, and even fewer of them that last over time.

 

[Suzanne]

Oh very well done, OkRad and you have nothing to be ashamed of; but proud of yourself.

I am one who rather it was quiet, that put up with terrible music and that is from someone who freaks out with silence!

I can cope with screaming children if it drowns out the silence for me, but for some reason, really bad sounding music, makes me sick and want to scream!

 

[Warmheart]

Good job!!! Well done! Yes, you did fantastic! this letter was very successful with the gym! Hooray!

Important: now that I am dating, I've learned that... Every restaurant-- EVERY single one of them-- that I've asked to lower the music, has done so.

Gyms, restaurants, and grocery stores CAN and WILL turn down that awful "music" chaos so we can remain in the environment and access the same resources.

Mainly, all that is needed is "Could you please turn down that music? I have a neurological condition (or autism, or sensory processing disorder, etc.) and it gives me sensory overload."
Done.
Disclosing a disability, even if you are vague about the specifics, gives you a reason behind the request.

Supermarkets-- Go to Customer Service first thing upon arrival.
Restaurants, Cafes, Gyms-- front desk or tell server upon your arrival.

Quietude to eat, shop, work out and think... is a good thing.

 

[kay]

You did exactly what you should! I've had to do the same thing in different situations. Sometimes it goes well and sometimes I get yelled at or laughed at. I don't know where you live (I'm in the US) but I really think extremely loud music at some places might be in violation of the ADA. At least it should be. Also if the employees are there for a certain number of hours and the music is over a certain level it also might violate OSHA if the employees are not wearing ear protection. Sorry to be vague, I don't remember all the details well. And of course there might be years spent in court to get anything resolved and I don't know if anyone has ever tried using the ADA laws to get noise turned down.

 

[Mia]

Love what you did. You are a braver person that I. Be very proud of yourself, what you did takes a lot of courage. \ (•◡•) / \ (•◡•) /\ (•◡•) /

 

[Professori]

OK, so you know how it has been hell in the gym. They are playing that screeching music loud, so loud it drowns out your ipod. After being there, I felt like I wanted to scream and once I hit sensory overload WHILE THERE and melted down. remember, this was my safe place so it's extra horrible for me. Part of my routine and safe!! Not now.

So I contacted the CEO and branch manager and spilled my guts with a very well put together letter which was not slamming or raving. It explained I have a head injury with neuro sequelae predicated on autism and explained that the trouble with sensory over load extends to and other neuro disorders. And the eldery generally have a trouble with that crap.

I then asked if it would be possible to offer quiet times for those who cannot tolerate that constant bombardment of music that can throw us into sensory overload. I mentioned how many cases of head injuries a year and how there are increasing cases of autism.

I also offered, if they did this, to be a voice for that program and contact places like the autism societies nearby, elderly centres, brain injury centres and even military organizations which may have people dealing with mtbis. In short, I offered my help to make it a success.

Now I feel vulnerable but I also feel I did the right thing. I do not think I should be ashamed for my troubles. maybe they should be for being thoughtless when not one person there was without their own music to DROWN THAT CRAP OUT.

Anyway, do you guys think I did the right thing? I hear that many of you would find that music intolerable as well. But I also hear that a lot of you would rather have bad music than no music, so I am not sure I represented us as accurate as I thought. So now I just feel like I am outvoted and have to move back to a place I hated to get to the other gym which is quiet.

The environment of this place has TOTALLY changed. It was a peaceful place and now it's like a madhouse, all edgy, people grabbing at the weights, no more being polite because no one can hear you now. People used to talk and say HI and some even shared about their life, their faiths, their families.

Now it's "Get the F outta my way buddy. You got the 30lb weight! Hurry the F up"

<sigh> Would love feedback.

Sheesh, I could never stand a place like that! The problem with loud music is also that it has an effect on all people psychologically. The supermarkets play loud, busy music specifically because it affects buying behaviour.

Maybe this is why people have changed in their behaviour from pleasant to hurried and rude. Anyway, I think you did the right thing because if that is your gym then you also have a say in how it should be managed. You are absolutely correct that there is a wide range of people who do not want loud music, and you have now offered your opinion on behalf of a bigger group.

Some people are just too timid to speak up. Even if people do want some music, it does not have to be so loud and screechy that it blows your brains out.

 

[Mary Terry]

NT here who hates loud music (many of us do, especially the older we get). It is disorienting and annoying, and makes it difficult to separate the screeching, booming music from conversations. You absolutely did the right thing. I've asked that the music be turned down in numerous restaurants so I can hear what my dining partners are saying. If restaurant refuses, I tell them LOUDLY that I will never return and will actively discourage others from visiting their establishment. I make it clear that they just lost a customer - again spoken loudly so other diners can hear me. Restaurants usually will comply to keep their customers happy. Bars that serve alcohol are a different story but I never go to bars so not a problem for me.

 

[Mary Terry]

There is an article today in the Travel section of USA Today newspaper about "the right to quiet" for travelers, written by Christopher Elliott. You can access it at usatoday.com.