NTgirl4276
Well-Known Member
hi everyone, it's my first post here so please forgive me if I'm repeating an old thread...
I'm an NT woman and I have been slowly dating a likely Aspie man for the past 3 months and I like him a lot. On our fourth date, he briefly mentioned that he is on the "high functioning end" of "the spectrum." he just sort of dropped it into the conversation and kept going, so I didn't ask any follow-up questions because I wasn't sure if he had intended to reveal that or if he let it slip accidentally. I didn't want to force him into a conversation he may not have been ready for, so I let it pass.
It's been a handful of dates since then and I continue to like him more and more. I've noticed that we certainly have differences--mainly in our communication styles and his reluctance to initiate pretty much anything, whether it's physical contact or dating plans. But, I've been direct with him about my interest in continuing to date him and he has reciprocated when I have done so.
My question for Aspies, if you're willing to offer some advice, is: would you be offended if someone you are dating brings up the Aspie discussion with you? Would you prefer to bring it up yourself? If not, how might your partner broach the subject with you in a way that would be non-threatening or non-accusatory?? My main concern is putting him in an uncomfortable position, but I think that we need to talk about it sooner rather than later if we hope to continue dating one another (and I certainly do). I'm more than happy to make adjustments to my dating behaviors (like I'm ready to be patient when it comes to sexual activity, adjust my nonverbal affection behaviors, be more direct in my communication, and take the lead in initiating our dates), but I feel like we should chat about these realities since (from what I understand), all Aspies are uniquely and beautifully different.
Any help y'all can offer would be very appreciated!
I'm an NT woman and I have been slowly dating a likely Aspie man for the past 3 months and I like him a lot. On our fourth date, he briefly mentioned that he is on the "high functioning end" of "the spectrum." he just sort of dropped it into the conversation and kept going, so I didn't ask any follow-up questions because I wasn't sure if he had intended to reveal that or if he let it slip accidentally. I didn't want to force him into a conversation he may not have been ready for, so I let it pass.
It's been a handful of dates since then and I continue to like him more and more. I've noticed that we certainly have differences--mainly in our communication styles and his reluctance to initiate pretty much anything, whether it's physical contact or dating plans. But, I've been direct with him about my interest in continuing to date him and he has reciprocated when I have done so.
My question for Aspies, if you're willing to offer some advice, is: would you be offended if someone you are dating brings up the Aspie discussion with you? Would you prefer to bring it up yourself? If not, how might your partner broach the subject with you in a way that would be non-threatening or non-accusatory?? My main concern is putting him in an uncomfortable position, but I think that we need to talk about it sooner rather than later if we hope to continue dating one another (and I certainly do). I'm more than happy to make adjustments to my dating behaviors (like I'm ready to be patient when it comes to sexual activity, adjust my nonverbal affection behaviors, be more direct in my communication, and take the lead in initiating our dates), but I feel like we should chat about these realities since (from what I understand), all Aspies are uniquely and beautifully different.
Any help y'all can offer would be very appreciated!