How old were when you got your Asperger's diagnosis?

[notoriousmeh]

I was just formally diagnosed with ASD today at age 23. I majored in Psychology at a top university, am in graduate school, have backpacked the world for a year by myself, and had absolutely no idea that ASD was even a possibility for me until July, when my psychiatrist (who had previously diagnosed me with severe ADHD at age 22) met my mom (who I now know has Asperger's as well). It explains countless parts of myself and my life that I hadn't understood previously - such as my anorexia in high school, my obsessions, and my lack of understanding of human-made laws vs. inherent moral ethics, to name a few - but I am also confused with my identity as I have been known since middle school as a very sociable, but unconventional, person by nearly everyone I know. I have consistently made myself participate in things that I am uncomfortable with in order to reduce my discomfort, and my excessive partying in college definitely didn't make people think of autism when they noticed my eccentricities. My boyfriend, best friend, and parents know about my diagnosis but most people in my life would likely believe that I couldn't have autism. It's going to be an interesting and difficult decision about self-disclosure!

 

[yotimbo]

Sensory overload is not a willful, self-centered decision. It is a reflex; a fight-or-flight response. Comparing it to a traumatized little boy is comparing apples-to-oranges.

The point of my comment was that there is NO comparison to your problems and the 5 year old boy , his problems far outweigh your own and as for your oranges and Apple's motif well they are both fruit so are very similar in there biological structure ,

 

[Mary Terry]

I'm NT. My sister-in-law has Aspergers but never told my brother/her husband. Together, they had a profoundly autistic son, now in his mid-20s. After my brother passed away about 5 years ago, my sister in law finally told me that she on the spectrum. My brother was in the midst of divorcing her when he died. Had he known of his wife's diagnosis, which she deliberately hid from him, he might be alive today and counseling might have helped stabilize their marriage.

At any rate, my family and I are resentful and feel cheated by her hiding her diagnosis for over 20 years and mourn for our deceased brother who suffered an awful marriage without ever knowing why. If you are autistic, you need to tell people who are close to you, and ESPECIALLY tell anyone with whom you are having or planning an intimate relationship.

If you fail to disclose, you are lying, deceitful and manipulative. And, yes, I understand the desire to "pass" as NT to avoid what you may perceive as discrimination against you. That's fine for casual grocery shopping and other routine activities but it is just plain wrong to conceal autistic status from family. The NT family likely thinks you're crazy, psychotic or otherwise "off" and will shun and avoid you because they do not, and cannot, understand you without your disclosure of your condition.

 

[Ylva]

I'm NT. My sister-in-law has Aspergers but never told my brother/her husband. Together, they had a profoundly autistic son, now in his mid-20s. After my brother passed away about 5 years ago, my sister in law finally told me that she on the spectrum. My brother was in the midst of divorcing her when he died. Had he known of his wife's diagnosis, which she deliberately hid from him, he might be alive today and counseling might have helped stabilize their marriage.

At any rate, my family and I are resentful and feel cheated by her hiding her diagnosis for over 20 years and mourn for our deceased brother who suffered an awful marriage without ever knowing why. If you are autistic, you need to tell people who are close to you, and ESPECIALLY tell anyone with whom you are having or planning an intimate relationship.

If you fail to disclose, you are lying, deceitful and manipulative. And, yes, I understand the desire to "pass" as NT to avoid what you may perceive as discrimination against you. That's fine for casual grocery shopping and other routine activities but it is just plain wrong to conceal autistic status from family. The NT family likely thinks you're crazy, psychotic or otherwise "off" and will shun and avoid you because they do not, and cannot, understand you without your disclosure of your condition.

Oh, sweetie… we have no desire to pass as NT. That is just what NTs demand from us. If it weren't socially sanctioned, censured, and punished, I'd be myself all the freaking time.

I am sorry for your loss, but I cannot imagine that your brother's widow felt safe enough to tell you, so she couldn't have.

 

[Crossbreed]

If you fail to disclose, you are lying, deceitful and manipulative.

I didn't know, myself, until nine years ago, at age 45. My wife said that it was my autistic [geek?] traits that actually attracted her (like honesty) before she became depressed, about 17 years into our marriage. (To be fair, she already survived a near-death neurological disease before I had met her.) Two of our children are profoundly autistic, too. At least, three are mildly so.

If you don't mind me asking, how did your SIL's non-disclosure precipitate in your brother's early death?

 

[Astroganga]

34. Just diagnosed today.

 

[the antique autistic]

I was in my fifties before being diagnosed. My youngest son had become horrifically and excruciatingly painfully ill. It took awhile to find out what was going on with him. I thought maybe his illness was in some way connected to my extreme differentness. It wasn't. but that is how and why I got diagnosed. My diagnosis did not in any way help my son so it meant nothing to me at the time.

 

[Kit]

I'm NT. My sister-in-law has Aspergers but never told my brother/her husband. Together, they had a profoundly autistic son, now in his mid-20s. After my brother passed away about 5 years ago, my sister in law finally told me that she on the spectrum. My brother was in the midst of divorcing her when he died. Had he known of his wife's diagnosis, which she deliberately hid from him, he might be alive today and counseling might have helped stabilize their marriage.

At any rate, my family and I are resentful and feel cheated by her hiding her diagnosis for over 20 years and mourn for our deceased brother who suffered an awful marriage without ever knowing why. If you are autistic, you need to tell people who are close to you, and ESPECIALLY tell anyone with whom you are having or planning an intimate relationship.

If you fail to disclose, you are lying, deceitful and manipulative. And, yes, I understand the desire to "pass" as NT to avoid what you may perceive as discrimination against you. That's fine for casual grocery shopping and other routine activities but it is just plain wrong to conceal autistic status from family. The NT family likely thinks you're crazy, psychotic or otherwise "off" and will shun and avoid you because they do not, and cannot, understand you without your disclosure of your condition.

I'm sorry she hid it from you. Had she already known about it or did she just find out? How long had she been diagnosed?

 

[Kit]

I got mine at 12. I remember my mom telling me back then I had it. She told me she always knew I had something and had more going on than ADD. I had always known I was different. I just didn't put any thought into it then. I used to think at age 8 I was different because my mom told me about my history of hearing loss and being unable to talk when I was little so I thought then that is what made me different. Now I had an explanation for everyone why I was so weird and why I talked funny. Then at age 10 I figured out I had more going on than language because there were other kids in my school who also talked funny and they didn't get treated the same way as I did. Also I noticed other kids seemed to know where the invisible lines were and I didn't. I also noticed I had a hard time figuring stuff out. But I always felt younger than my age and I would act younger too. I never suspected anything in my childhood. I also have anxiety and OCD. I was given the AS diagnoses to help me through school. My mom didn't tell me this part until I was an adult. Lot of people just didn't understand me then and doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong with me so I had a bunch of different diagnoses like dyspraxia, sensory processing disorder, language processing disorder, auditory processing disorder, ADD. My mom says I was just me because nothing fit. My school thought I had a behavior which is what led me to the AS diagnoses.

 

[Lester1902]

I was just diagnosised at age 33 with Aspergers and although we always knew I had ODD/ADD as a child, I would have loved the opportunity to understand myself better at an early age. I hope you both have already chose to tell her since this was originally posted!

 

[aaron infamous]

I was 5 tons of testing. Was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD

 

[Caitie33]

And how did you feel about it? My daughter is 8 and we have not told her yet. She also has ADHD and OCD, we have told her about those, but we don't know what to say about Asperger's. We are not sure we can explain it to her yet.

I am 33 and was never officially diagnosed with aspergers. As a kid, just ADHD. As young as eight I felt like I was from another planet, as young as eight or nine I started to think about suicide. I spent my whole life trying to figure out what was wrong with me. I got a B.S. degree in Psychology. She likely struggles with things that cannot be explained by ADHD and OCD alone. If you have told her about those then tell her about the aspergers. I have a four year old son and I am planning to get a formal diagnoses to help him and hopefully lessen the stigma.

 

[Caitie33]

I'm sorry she hid it from you. Had she already known about it or did she just find out? How long had she been diagnosed?

 

[Mr Allen]

As mentioned it was 17 years to the day last Tuesday since they diagnosed me.

 

[Caitie33]

Oh, sweetie… we have no desire to pass as NT. That is just what NTs demand from us. If it weren't socially sanctioned, censured, and punished, I'd be myself all the freaking time.

I am sorry for your loss, but I cannot imagine that your brother's widow felt safe enough to tell you, so she couldn't have.

Mary Terry- Did you even read your own post? It is obvious that you truly never had any real empathy for your brother and his family and what they were going through. Especially to what your sister in law was going through. How did you expect her to disclose her diagnoses to people who treated her as "crazy, psychotic, or otherwise off". It is hard enough to disclose to people who seem understanding and safe. Also, I'm not sure why you believe her not disclosing her AS lead to your brothers death? I'm sorry for your loss of your brother but I believe that in your grief you are placing blame on a person who has perhaps been much more hurt and misunderstood, not just now that your brother is dead, but for their entire marriage.

 

[Aidan49]

I was 20.

 

[Aeolienne]

I was 26. Initially I was relieved because I thought that now at last my problems with socialising would be taken seriously and not just fobbed off with "just join a club". Unfortunately I quickly discovered how patchy support services are for Asperger adults.

 

[cherryq]

22, almost 23.

 

[ksheehan88]

I'm NT. My sister-in-law has Aspergers but never told my brother/her husband. Together, they had a profoundly autistic son, now in his mid-20s. After my brother passed away about 5 years ago, my sister in law finally told me that she on the spectrum. My brother was in the midst of divorcing her when he died. Had he known of his wife's diagnosis, which she deliberately hid from him, he might be alive today and counseling might have helped stabilize their marriage.

At any rate, my family and I are resentful and feel cheated by her hiding her diagnosis for over 20 years and mourn for our deceased brother who suffered an awful marriage without ever knowing why. If you are autistic, you need to tell people who are close to you, and ESPECIALLY tell anyone with whom you are having or planning an intimate relationship.

If you fail to disclose, you are lying, deceitful and manipulative. And, yes, I understand the desire to "pass" as NT to avoid what you may perceive as discrimination against you. That's fine for casual grocery shopping and other routine activities but it is just plain wrong to conceal autistic status from family. The NT family likely thinks you're crazy, psychotic or otherwise "off" and will shun and avoid you because they do not, and cannot, understand you without your disclosure of your condition.

Firstly... Its none but your sister-in-laws buisness who knows about her AS, who are you to demand she should've told anyone?! Its not her fault your brother died.

Secondly... I am on a journey of self-discovery after much research to look into whether I am an Aspie. I told a few trusted friends/family members about this and they think I'm actually mad for thinking I may have Aspergers... My mum even went as far as to say perhaps I'm gong to have a breakdown and I should just shove antidepressants down my neck... So people don't just think you're crazy because you have kept your diagnosis to yourself.... they think you're crazy when you're trying to GET a diagnosis too....

 

[Walid123]

@54 I was told i've got many aspie tendencies by a profesional aftersomething happend and having heard much about me,but when I went and got tested, although they confirmed the same, i was refused the diagnosis because they wanted to talk to a family member and as they had moved and lost contact they said they wouldn't confirm i had Asperges until they spoke with them?????