How Neurotypical of Me

[Datura]

So; tonight...
I went out to a club, and...
I had a good time!

I have never had a big problem with such environments. The loud music, flashing lights, and human menagerie are welcome distractions from daily life, rather than an assault on my senses. Sometimes things get uncomfortably loud. Sometimes I feel a bit disoriented. But I deal. It doesn't bother me much and it certainly doesn't induce panic.

This is the one major aspect that casts doubt on my having Asperger's. I just don't seem to have the sensory issues that are typical in the literature. I don't get bothered by tags in my clothing, I can deal with crowds so long as I have freedom to move, background noise confuses me, but doesn't trigger meltdowns. Does this preclude my having the condition? If it isn't Asperger's causing my issues, then what is it?

Maybe I am just a really geeky and obsessive person with ADD and an unnatural proclivity for shaking things? I don't know.

Do any of you, diagnosed or otherwise, find there are ways in which you differ from the model aspie? Do you find you can easily do things you "shouldn't" be able to do? How stringent, exactly, are the diagnostic criteria?

 

[Harrison]

It's a spectrum, I don't have many of the things others talk of. I know it's banded about a lot but it is true that 'when you've met one aspie you've met... one aspie'

 

[Suzanne]

Although not "professionally" diagnosed, there is no doubt I have aspergers and guess what? I LOVE MUSIC LOUD AND LOVED CLUBBING. If anything the flashing lights and everyone dancing too, was AMAZING to my senses. I say: was, because I am a christian and such places are a danger to my spirituality ie flirting; yep another "non aspie" trait! If a guy likes me, I have a hard time, not playing the flirting game. One spiritual sister said that when she used to go night clubbing, a guy who dared to touch her bottom, she would whip around and make sure her rather sharp head dress thing, would scratch him. Me: I would find it a high compliment and want to tease him and slap his bottom!!!!

I am not bland faced or nor do I have a monotone voice. I was chatting with another spiritual sister, who's son is an aspie and she said that her son does not have a monotone voice either.

I do not have a long term obsession. Mine are spodatic to say the least. In fact, when I sense I am getting obsessed, I try to pull away. My last major obsession was about 3 month's ago, when I got completely absorbed with ebola.

I can read emotions, but this is learned. But I also MISREAD emotions. So when I perceive a nasty look from a female, apparently they are not being nasty.

I HATE maths and not obsessed with numbers.

I can look someone in the eyes now, but sometimes have to look away because I am too conscious that I am looking in their eyes and that makes me uncomfortable. I also discovered that when I feel attacked ie verbally, I cannot look the person in the eyes.

I THRIVE when surrounded by music; I come alive. I cannot cope with silence.

I am not a genus.

I could go through each one and explain what does bother me, but that is not so helpful to you and so I won't.

What gets you thinking you are an aspie?

 

[tachyon]

Yes! I was officially diagnosed and have a couple of differences from the standard toolkit of a 'well-rounded' aspie.

I have very few 'motor' issues (such as an unusual gait) which I'm thankful for, but regularly bump into things quite clumsily and I have fairly minor sensory issues (clothing etc). However I have everything else quite strongly.

I have maybe a bazillion stims. I read somewhere that one aspie stim is to pick pieces of your skin & thought - I'm glad I don't have that one coz that sounds gross. Then I read another thread where a woman said that she did that, but only on her scalp. I thought OMG. I do that still, but used to do it a lot more when I was younger (& had more hair ) often to the point of bleeding

For me, It's been a somewhat gradual awakening (and acceptance) to all the aspects of my aspieness.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I have heard only 75% of those on the autistic spectrum have hyper- or hypo-sensitive senses. Perhaps you are one of the lucky 25%?

We all got at least one doubt maker, I think. Mine is able to read body language.

 

[tachyon]

We all got at least one doubt maker, I think. Mine is able to read body language.

Haha - no doubt for me there. I'm totally clueless on that one

Actually, I'm curious - do aspies have body language?

 

[CaveDweller]

The sensory issues were brought up during my diagnosis. Apart from certain textures and smells (which makes my diet so restricted it's borderline eating disorder) I have no great problems with the other things. The only crowds I don't like are social occasions, but I can stand in football crowds, concerts and nightclubs no problem. (Although I haven't been in a club for years). The noise doesn't bother me and everybody's focus is on something else removing the social element. I'm comfortable with this and it's a way of feeling a part of something without having to get too involved. Labels don't bother me and light is fine.

I was still given a diagnosis. There seems to be no 'one size fits all' set of rules.

 

[Walsie]

That doesn't mean you're not on the spectrum.

I too loved clubs and rock concerts back in the day. I too hate numbers, maths and bombed it like a vegetarian T-rex.

I have no trouble with eye contact. Body language isn't usually an issue (hearing words are), and crowds don't bother me to the point of meltdowns. I don't have meltdowns. I can't remember the last time I had one, or even if I had one (mother said I was an easy, placid child), maybe because I grew up in an abusive household, absorbed peoples' essence like a sponge, and simply shut down for years on end because of the fear. Maybe that was a dinosaur version of a meltdown. I dunno.

I had serious cognitive (executive function) delays and speech impairment as a child. I now live in a foreign country on my own and work, but now have sensory issues that had gotten worse as I'd gotten older, and am still as clumsy as Frankenstien on a small boat.

 

[tachyon]

I too hate numbers, maths and bombed it like a vegetarian T-rex.

Love that - gonna steal it

 

[clg114]

We do have one big thing in common with NTs, every individual is different. It's no wonder that some of us sometimes wonder if our diagnosis is correct. Reading through these post really make that fact stand out. Myself, I could not go clubbing. All the noise, all the lights and all of the people would drive me crazy(crazier?). Nonverbal communication is hard for me. I just do not see all those signals, much less know what they mean. I take what is said to me very literally. I am so clumsy that I am always dropping things and trip over my own feet. Anything social is beyond me. In social situations, I just follow my wife(a NT) around and do not say much.

There is one area that I seem to differ from most Aspies. I have a lot of self confidence and have a positive attitude. Overall, I am a happy person. This is not because of any conscious decision that I have made, it's just the way I am. I am very thankful and lucky to have this state of mind. Overall, I like being me.

 

[garnetflower13]

In my youth, I always went clubbing. I loved the loud music but couldn't stand the strobe lights. I always had sensory issues, such as not liking certain textures, flavors and scents, and over the years I began to be less tolerant of loud music and being in crowds. I recently gave up going to the annual used book sale in my town because I couldn't tolerate the noise and bustle. I buy used books on Amazon now.

 

[Progster]

I have some mild sensory issues, mainly with sounds being very loud and high pitched sounds bothering me. They can upset or irritate me, but they don't induce panic attacks. I can't make out conversation over loud noise, so I tend to avoid places with loud music. Night clubs are not for me. I don't have a panic attack, but I just don't enjoy myself the way other people do in that kind of place. One the other hand, I enjoy concerts, as long as the music isn't ear-blastingly loud. I don't have such big problems with lights as others mention, though as I've got older some lights bother me a lot more. Unfortunately, sensory issues do often get worse as you get older. Some people on the spectrum report being anxious about leaving their house and travelling, but that has never been an issue for me. I like travelling, and have lived and worked in several foreign countries. As for crowds, I'm a bit claustrophobic and don't like enclosed crowded spaces, but I have no problems with open air crowds, at an open air concert say, but I prefer to be on the edge and not in the middle.

When I was going through my burnout, I found that I could no longer cope with some things which didn't bother me before, and I had severe anxiety issues. I think that how well we manage our symptoms, including sensory issues, very much depends on our energy and stress levels. If we have anxiety and stress, we may find ourselves in a position where we can no longer manage them and need help. So it's not always the case that they don't exist, it's just that we find coping mechanisms to manage them. You might find that your ability to cope with noise, especially background noise, weakens when you are under stress.

 

[Datura]

Hmm, this is all quite interesting.

Thinking about it, I may have some sensory issues.

• Sometimes people's voices make my ears literally feel like they are burning on the inside.
  
• The white house across the way is so bright that it hurts to look at.
  
• Though I don't think I am exceptionally picky, I do have foods I can't stand. Mushrooms, certain styles of eggs, most molluscs, onions, animal fat and gristle, olives, coffee and alcohol.
• I often find that sweaters feel, for lack of a better word, gross to wear. This can raise my anxiety level.
  
• I get very upset in the winter when I am acclimated to the cold and then have to spend time in a very warm building.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Haha - no doubt for me there. I'm totally clueless on that one

Actually, I'm curious - do aspies have body language?

Stimming comes to mind. Stimming is common in all humans and is an expression of emotion, just a wee more exaggerated in most autistic folk. Many little boys in the old days got smacked with a ruler for bouncing a leg or tapping fingers at school because they were bored. Lots of people clap when they're happy, especially girly girls. Many people chew on pencils and stuff when they're concentrating. Generally, the more emotion a person is feeling, the more it's likely to show. Like that old song, "if you're happy and you know then your face is gonna show it, clap your hands!"

Mushrooms, certain styles of eggs, most molluscs, onions, animal fat and [...] olives [...]

Slimy yet satisfying!

...For Timon and Pumbaa. I don't like mushrooms and olives either, and I prefer my shellfish cooked. My first time eating an oyster, nobody told me it was raw, much less that you're supposed to swallow it whole.

 

[umbrellabeach]

This reminds me of when my mom and sister and I were at the Mall of America and my mom said it was like sensory overload because it was so busy. I told her I didn't get sensory overload, but when I thought about it later and paid attention to how I felt and reacted when there was a lot going on, I realized I do; I just react differently to it. When it's really busy and there's too much going on, I tend to get very tired, sometimes sleepy, and mentally withdraw to block everything out. In this state I will generally not hear anything other people say, because all the sounds blend together. If someone shouts or bumps into me it's like almost falling asleep, then jerking awake. That's really irritating and it makes me even more tired. If it happens enough times I'll get very irritated and snap at people. Then, of course, they think I'm the bad guy.

 

[Datura]

When it's really busy and there's too much going on, I tend to get very tired, sometimes sleepy, and mentally withdraw to block everything out. In this state I will generally not hear anything other people say, because all the sounds blend together.

Hmm... maybe that's why I feel so exhausted after taking the buss.

 

[Karin]

Actually, I'm curious - do aspies have body language?

Yes, aspies have plenty of body language to be read! But the interpretation is easier if you know you are with an aspie.

 

[Progster]

This reminds me of when my mom and sister and I were at the Mall of America and my mom said it was like sensory overload because it was so busy. I told her I didn't get sensory overload, but when I thought about it later and paid attention to how I felt and reacted when there was a lot going on, I realized I do; I just react differently to it. When it's really busy and there's too much going on, I tend to get very tired, sometimes sleepy, and mentally withdraw to block everything out. In this state I will generally not hear anything other people say, because all the sounds blend together. If someone shouts or bumps into me it's like almost falling asleep, then jerking awake. That's really irritating and it makes me even more tired. If it happens enough times I'll get very irritated and snap at people. Then, of course, they think I'm the bad guy.

Yes, this happens to me, too. I think it's some sort of shutdown.

I've been diagnosed with AS, but I often worry that I don't have it, because I was able to do a lot of things in life that other aspies struggle with... academically, I was successful - I got As and Bs in my school exams, I had a good attendance record at school and I graduated from university with an MA. Many people with AS struggle academically despite their intelligence. I had social and emotional difficulties including depression, but it didn't prevent me from doing well academically. I once nearly dropped out of uni, and had severe problems at school at one point, but my stubborness and determination not to fail helped me to keep going and succeed.

But I'm in my 40s and when I was at school, the emphasis was very much on doing well in exams, and less on the social and teamwork aspects. Students studied individually and were never asked to work in teams or do projects in teams, as they are now. These are things I later encountered at work and found difficult. Also, being different was somehow more acccepted than it is now, there wasn't nearly so much social pressure. So I don't know if I'd have done so well if I'd been born 20 years later - I suspect that I'd have struggled a lot more than I did.

 

[EdR]

I am a member of the minority without any discernible sensory issues.

My aspie shortcomings are pretty much limited to interpersonal problems, such as possessing zero empathy, unable to conduct normal conversations, inability to make friends, oblivious to most body language, a cold impersonal manner, unable to establish relationships, discomfort in social gatherings...........................

My life has been solitary, even amongst people, including my family.

That is probably the most common aspect of our "gift".

 

[Adora]

This reminds me of when my mom and sister and I were at the Mall of America and my mom said it was like sensory overload because it was so busy. I told her I didn't get sensory overload, but when I thought about it later and paid attention to how I felt and reacted when there was a lot going on, I realized I do; I just react differently to it. When it's really busy and there's too much going on, I tend to get very tired, sometimes sleepy, and mentally withdraw to block everything out. In this state I will generally not hear anything other people say, because all the sounds blend together. If someone shouts or bumps into me it's like almost falling asleep, then jerking awake. That's really irritating and it makes me even more tired. If it happens enough times I'll get very irritated and snap at people. Then, of course, they think I'm the bad guy.

I get that a lot when I'm at shops i feel sleepy and get this drained feeling like I feel like I'm made of jelly and i have to sit down for a few minutes because I get dizzy, never could figure out why.