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How long did it take for you to accept you were autistic?

Southern Discomfort

Southern Discomfort

Smarter than the Average Bear
V.I.P Member
My old psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my new psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my social worker says I have Asperger's, my mum says I have Asperger's. I've spent nearly every day for the last year and a half reading about it since they told me hearing people's experiences, trying to connect to people with it, and even going as far as listing down examples of how I think it affects me. And I still can't come to terms with it. Sometimes I think I'm just lazy because I have no motivation in life. What do I need to do?

I've asked my social worker if I could have some sort of report written on paper on why they think I have it because I don't know what I'm putting out there to make them think that. He said they'll talk about it at our next appointment.

Can anybody relate to this? Or am I alone with this like always?
 
Took me about 6 months to fully accept that I was autistic. But after a few sessions with my therapist where we reviewed my difficulties growing up, thru school and into adulthood. It made more and more sense. At that point I started researching the topic online, reading everything I could about it. Took the tests online that I could just to see the results myself. I am autistic, I have Asperger's, I become non verbal when in high stress/pain, I cannot multitask, cannot tell the difference between sarcasm and when someone is really pissed at me. Totaly socialy blind. Mike
 
I don't think there is any universal or generic answer to that. That we all handle it in our own way. Kind of like grief. Although I'm not formally diagnosed, it wasn't easy for me to come to terms with this myself. I was in a sort of denial on a sliding scale.

But eventually I looked at all my traits and behaviors and concluded, yes- this IS me. Whether I like it or not. It wasn't a quick process for me either.

And then there's one other thing to consider. "Mind blindness"- a cognitive disorder often attributed to those with Asperger's Syndrome. An inability for one to attribute mental states to themselves and others. On rare occasion I've heard it referred to as "Aspie Blindness" as well.
 
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When they first told me I was literally like, WTF?! About a month later I slowly accepted it as being part of who I am, it just annoys me that now the fact I have Asperger's seems to be the be all and end all of my life! Every time I apply for a job, I'm forced to declare it on the application form, consequently I don't get the jobs!
 
Judge said:
And then there's one other thing to consider. "Mind blindness"- a cognitive disorder often attributed to those with Asperger's Syndrome. An inability for one to attribute mental states to themselves and others.
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Are you insinuating that mindblindness is stopping me from being able to fully recognise traits in me?
 
Southern Discomfort said:
Are you insinuating that mindblindness is stopping me from being able to fully recognise traits in me?
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Nope. Just pointing it out as a possibility to factor into your own personal equation.

And anyone else as for that matter.
 
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Southern Discomfort said:
Hmm, okay. I've apparently got quite good theory of mind, that much I know.
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I get that. I like to think the same about myself. Although reading of one physical trait, the first time I read it I absolutely ruled it out. Up to that point in my search for my truth, I was still quite doubtful that I might be on the spectrum. Studying more in detail I discovered it was exactly what I had. That was a precipice of sorts for me, when I slowly began to accept the idea that I have a form of autism.

I like to think I was in simple denial, as opposed to a form of mind blindness. But in my own case I'm honestly not sure. But eventually my logic overcame it all to accept that I have/had this physical trait of "stilted walking" in my youth. It was something I was taunted about as a child, and not a pleasant memory. Though a trait I since worked to avoid as much as possible...long before I had any concerns about my neurological profile.
 
I think mind blindness and theory of mind are unfortunate terms. My daughter does not seem mind blind to me. Rather she seems to process emotional information differently from NTs. She does have trouble understanding what she is feeling or picking up the social cues from others.
 
I was surprised at first to discover that I'm on the spectrum, when I stumbled onto the traits that many females have. After I read the lists of indicators, it was an explanation for my entire life up to that point. Had lived in the neurotypical world and began to realize that I didn't have to 'placate' anymore.

Finding out about Asperger's has made me less 'hard' on myself, I'm no longer stressed and anxious about everything that should happen or be. My stress levels have gone down noticeably, my ulcers healed, (only in the NT world do things escalate) no longer a perfectionist or obsessive about what other people think. It took me less than two months to embrace the idea wholeheartedly.

I'm proud to be an Aspie, it accounts for many things I've accomplished in my life with little help. Along with genetics and other factors it accounts for my intelligence, my focus, determination, independence and my talents.
 
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I was surprised when my mom told me, but when I looked it up on the Internet it made sense. Over time, the more I learned about it the more I related to it. Honestly, the hardest part was remembering the name "Asperger Syndrome." XD If I wanted to look it up I'd have to type in "autism" and then follow a few links. But I can remember it fine now.
 
About 6 months for me as I already 'thought' I knew what aspergers was (not realising it has many more facets than something such as bi-polar or OCD).
 
In truth, I do not see myself as autistic and so, if being aspergers is autistic then I cannot have aspergers and even though it is not confirmed, because where I live, in France, they do not accept aspergers, more and more it is being confirmed that I have aspergers and yet, to look at me, no one would guess, UNTIL THEY GET TO KNOW ME and then they start to see things that are not the "norm".

I think that if I had it confirmed once and for all, but told it is autistic that I am, I would strongly argue the point, because there was no point in separating the two, if they are one, even if they are on the spectrum.

Just like the medical profession, where I use because I have no choice, I see that the mental health profession in the same light.

I remember chatting with a lady over the phone who said that those with aspergers are their best advocate, because of how much more they know about aspergers, than the so called professionals.

If I did go and see a therapist and they asked at what age did I start to crawl or speak, they would say right away that I do not have aspergers and yet, ironically enough, I would be autistic, because with aspergers, one developes motor skills at a normal rate and austistic ones do not, but actually, it was due to parenting skills on my part that I started to crawl later and read later in life.
 
Southern Discomfort said:
My old psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my new psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my social worker says I have Asperger's, my mum says I have Asperger's. I've spent nearly every day for the last year and a half reading about it since they told me hearing people's experiences, trying to connect to people with it, and even going as far as listing down examples of how I think it affects me. And I still can't come to terms with it. Sometimes I think I'm just lazy because I have no motivation in life. What do I need to do?

I've asked my social worker if I could have some sort of report written on paper on why they think I have it because I don't know what I'm putting out there to make them think that. He said they'll talk about it at our next appointment.

Can anybody relate to this? Or am I alone with this like always?
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Southern Discomfort said:
My old psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my new psychiatrist says I have Asperger's, my social worker says I have Asperger's, my mum says I have Asperger's. I've spent nearly every day for the last year and a half reading about it since they told me hearing people's experiences, trying to connect to people with it, and even going as far as listing down examples of how I think it affects me. And I still can't come to terms with it. Sometimes I think I'm just lazy because I have no motivation in life. What do I need to do?

I've asked my social worker if I could have some sort of report written on paper on why they think I have it because I don't know what I'm putting out there to make them think that. He said they'll talk about it at our next appointment.

Can anybody relate to this? Or am I alone with this like always?
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I was diagnosed with ASD two days ago and so have found a lot of the answers interesting. I have no problem with accepting the final diagnosis because I have long accepted the possibility, likelihood even, of being on the spectrum. However, I first had my suspicions over a decade ago when my son was diagnosed and resisted them strongly then. I could not see many of my traits but my wife had no such problem. For a long time I was convinced that I was a pretty self-aware individual. THe diagnosis has shattered that illusion completely. Like many here on the forum I self-diagnosed several conditions, including Bipolar but nothing truly fitted. Only ASD explains my life's trajectory, from childhood onwards. I think that coming to terms with the diagnosis fully will, inevitably, take time. For now I am happy to have joined a community of extraordinary people who share a unique perspective on life.
 
Rich Allen said:
I don't have Autism, I have Asperger's, there's a BIG difference.
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That's because you were diagnosed on a different basis and time than on our side of the pond. A point of contention given for the most part Americans are subject to a diagnosis predicated on the DSM-V. Which has essentially dropped the very term "Asperger's Syndrome".

Compounded by those professionally diagnosed prior to May 2013 who were diagnosed as having "Asperger's Syndrome". Now it's officially "Autism Spectrum Disorder". Though I don't know if medical professionals really apply this on a retro-basis either for anyone diagnosed before this time when the protocols changed.

Sadly the global medical community is not on the same page on such issues. I have no problem using the term "autism" because I know if I do get professionally diagnosed in the US, it would most likely be based on DSM-V protocols. Autism Spectrum Disorder. Whether I like it or not. The word "autism" doesn't bother me personally. Besides, there will always be those who don't understand it and persecute us no matter what terminology you prefer.
 
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I had no problem accepting my diagnosis,in fact had to point it out to the braniacs that were working on a different brain issue. It certainly explained a lot of unanswered issues I had over my lifetime. It also laid a foundation that showed just how different I actually was from the beginning.All in all,I thought it was all pretty cool.
I have autism that gave me an eidetic memory and a very gifted IQ score on the Stanford Binet scale when tested years ago.The truth of the matter is that I am proud to be autistic since my option package was pretty well loaded with the goods with only what I consider minor deficits served up as side dishes.

I would have never been considered for Asperger's under DSM IV due to a pause in early age speech development.My docs told my parents that I was probably a mute and left it at that until I turned five and they couldn't shut me up :p

DSM 5 in the USA is a whole other game that would quite possibly shove some aspies out of the club as the diagnostics are based on amounts of support that are needed at each of the three levels.
I really wonder at times if my own diagnosis would be shoved into the trash can if I were to be evaluated under it because I came from an era where little was determined to be autism unless it was profound and non-verbal and higher functioning auties/Aspies were only considered to have quirky behavior most of the time.

Autie,aspie,call it what you want,it's all just a guesstimation in the bigger picture no matter what diagnostic criteria are used.An autism spectrum developmental disorder is capable of manifesting itself with many variations of diversity.

No two human beings are ever exactly alike due to external and genetic influences that also enter into the equations for that matter.Nothing is ever etched in granite as to who gets what,we only share many similarities.
 
I had no problem either, it was a relief to know after several years of anxiety, shyness, depression, etc to know what was really happenig to me. My first psychiatrist just told me I had social fobia and depression (I was 14-15yo) I was "good" for several years until 23 when I faced a very hard love rejection when I changed my doctor and added an psycologist, both of them diagnosed me as an Aspie and it gave so much sense and direction to my life, it answered a lot of questions about myself and why I do some things I do.
 
This is important to take at your own pace. I was upset at first after diagnosis. Then in a few days in which I did a lot of thinking - a lot - I accepted it. Still almost 2 years later, am finding more aspects of myself which are explained by my autism. I often do not notice emotions of others properly meaning at the time it happens - someone such as a shop clerk, or an acquaitence - is hostile or 'not nice.' Also I am easily overwhelmed by new situations especially ones that involve people.
 
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