How do you know you are physically ill?

[Kupu2]

I have this strange thing happen - I get grumpy if I am getting ill. It is the only way I know I am ill. It doesn't register that my ears might be sore, my breathing affected or green snot is multiplying. If I get grouchy with others, it is only then I look for signs of illness. I ask if you have various ways of realising you are ill because I'm sure my dr today thought I was simply seeking a day off work.

I don't communicate well, I know. I rarely get ill, so if I take a day off work, I AM ill. But going to the dr with nothing more than the rumblings of an imminent head cold and a complaint of grumpiness with others isn't easily explainable. How do I explain this better?

 

[clg114]

I have this strange thing happen - I get grumpy if I am getting ill. It is the only way I know I am ill. It doesn't register that my ears might be sore, my breathing affected or green snot is multiplying. If I get grouchy with others, it is only then I look for signs of illness. I ask if you have various ways of realising you are ill because I'm sure my dr today thought I was simply seeking a day off work.

I don't communicate well, I know. I rarely get ill, so if I take a day off work, I AM ill. But going to the dr with nothing more than the rumblings of an imminent head cold and a complaint of grumpiness with others isn't easily explainable. How do I explain this better?

I just tell them that I feel like hell. A good doctor knows what questions to ask. Particularly if he is your regular doctor.

 

[Kupu2]

I just tell them that I feel like hell. A good doctor knows what questions to ask. Particularly if he is your regular doctor.

Ugh. Maybe that is it, different dr. My usual dr is a dry, deal with the now type. No extra questions; just things pertinent to the issue I see him about. Today's dr insisted on lecturing me, asking liads of irrelevant questions...I won't see him again.

But, even so, grumpiness forebodes illness.

 

[umbrellabeach]

For me it's usually being in pain (especially sore throat, which is always my first symptom of a cold, or ear pain with an infection) or nausea/vomiting if it's a stomach bug (which I haven't had for years thankfully). I think my experience of illness is similar to that of NTs, except I might be more hypersensitive to it. If I'm not feeling well, I can't enjoy anything so I just lie around all day and do nothing, instead of watching TV or something like a lot of people do. One thing I've never understood is how people can distract themselves from physical sensations. I cannot do that at all except with sleep.

 

[Kupu2]

For me it's usually being in pain (especially sore throat, which is always my first symptom of a cold, or ear pain with an infection) or nausea/vomiting if it's a stomach bug (which I haven't had for years thankfully). I think my experience of illness is similar to that of NTs, except I might be more hypersensitive to it. If I'm not feeling well, I can't enjoy anything so I just lie around all day and do nothing, instead of watching TV or something like a lot of people do. One thing I've never understood is how people can distract themselves from physical sensations. I cannot do that at all except with sleep.

Yeah, same here. Distractions don't work for me either.

It's good you have that sensitivity to act as a gauge. At least you'll be in a better position to ward off serious illnesses.

 

[Ronin82]

I can always tell when I'm getting sick by a different feel in my tonsils. I'm hypersensitive to internal physical sensations, so I can always tell when there's a change. Sometimes it fools me and its just allergies, but I can always tell when my immune system is fighting something off...like now. If my immune system starts losing ground, my tonsils will flare up and I'll get super irritable.

 

[Kupu2]

I can always tell when I'm getting sick by a different feel in my tonsils. I'm hypersensitive to internal physical sensations, so I can always tell when there's a change. Sometimes it fools me and its just allergies, but I can always tell when my immune system is fighting something off...like now. If my immune system starts losing ground, my tonsils will flare up and I'll get super irritable.

Oh yay! You get irritable too?!

Do you notice the physical changes first, or the irritability?

 

[Ronin82]

They're kind of at the same time...haven't been able to tell if I'm irritable because of the physical discomfort, or the sour attitude causes the immune system to shift into a lower gear.

 

[Kupu2]

They're kind of at the same time...haven't been able to tell if I'm irritable because of the physical discomfort, or the sour attitude causes the immune system to shift into a lower gear.

Hmmm. Good question. As my irritation comes before I notice the symptoms, I'm guessing the drain on my energy causes me to snap and grumble. If I am tired, over exert myself or get overwhelmed, I get the same grumpiness.

But attitude can shift energy states too. So, either way, I do neither myself, or the poor dr, any favours by being grouchy??!

 

[clg114]

Ugh. Maybe that is it, different dr. My usual dr is a dry, deal with the now type. No extra questions; just things pertinent to the issue I see him about. Today's dr insisted on lecturing me, asking liads of irrelevant questions...I won't see him again.

But, even so, grumpiness forebodes illness.

I believe that a you should have a connection with your doctor or at least like him in order to get a quick, correct diagnosis. Like people, they are all different. I have been through three cardiologists. Don't feel bad about shopping around.

I do not think there are many people that are all bubbly when they are sick. My wife will not even try to talk to me when I am sick. She says that I am a big baby.

 

[midlife aspie]

My five year old son is like this. When he gets REALLY bad, we start looking for signs of illness. He can't or won't just come out and say "I don't feel good".

 

[Warmheart]

I sometimes simply get a vague (but very urgent!) sense of "Something's wrong."
The sense of urgency often increases, with the cause remaining a baffling mystery.

My neurology means I process pain differently than other people. I can't aways identify what the matter is. My body is always somewhat numb as I am always in various stages of shutdown.
I have walked on broken bones in my feet before, only to discover this several months later with an x-Ray for something else, and the doc and I are amazed looking at healed breaks.

Part of the issue is that the shutdown state ( due to ongoing, poorly-interpreted pain or illness)
1.) makes me unaware. It's part of being in a shutdown. Pain drives me into my autistic shell, and
2.) the shutdown overloads communications circuits, so now not only can I not identify what's happening because disassociation/awareness challenges/foggy shutdown happens, but now I can't tell you about what is wrong, even if I am aware of it.
Basically, the information is unavailable to me, and I am overwhelmed with distress, so now my language skills collapse.

I have a button on an "At the doctor's" page in my AAC (speech app) which says "Something is wrong with my body, but I don't know what. Let's work together to figure this out."

 

[Kupu2]

I sometimes simply get a vague (but very urgent!) sense of "Something's wrong."
The sense of urgency often increases, with the cause remaining a baffling mystery.

My neurology means I process pain differently than other people. I can't aways identify what the matter is. My body is always so somewhat numb as I am always in various stages of shutdown.
I have walked on broken bones in my feet before, only to discover this several months later with an x-Ray for something else, and the doc and I are amazed looking at healed breaks.

Part of the issue is that the shutdown state ( due to ongoing, poorly-interpreted pain or illness)
1.) makes me unaware. It's part of being in a shutdown. Pain drives me into my autistic shell, and
2.) the shutdown overloads communications circuits, so now not only can I not identify what's happening because disassociation/awareness/foggy shutdown happens, but now I can't tell you about what is wrong, even if I am aware of it.
Basically, the information is unavailable to me, and I am overwhelmed with distress, so now my language skills collapse.

I have a button on an "At the doctor's" page in my AAC (speech app) which says "Something is wrong with my body, but I don't know what. Let's work together to figure this out."

Warmheart, thank you for explaining this about yourself. I am finding I am less verbal than I thought. I really lack the means to adequately express myself. And I have that Alex-something word that means I lack awareness of emotions. Your state of shutdown corresponds to what happens for me too. And I must admit I've no idea if something is seriously wrong or not. Broken ribs, dislocated shoulder etc. I like the idea of your app....

 

[Warmheart]

Kupu, I think alexithymia is what you are referring to? Having various levels of shutdowns can cause disassociation such that it's super challenging to identify emotions. A therapist explained to me that all emotions are first experienced as physical sensations. Well, we kind of don't feel those too clearly, either.
It can be tough to recognize and identify what's going on with our bodies.

When I am feeling that sense of growing urgency, coupled with the strong perception that something is wrong, I eventually may give up trying to guess what is the matter, and just try to cover all bases.
I'll go potty, even if I don't think that's the problem.
I'll get a drink of cool water.
I'll eat a small snack.
I'll take a few ibuprofen.
I'll briefly walk my dog in nature, then do a brief ten minute Zen sitting meditation. (In case it's anxiety)
Finally, I sequester myself in quietude and solitude, curl up with a good book on my favorite special interest, and sip some soothing tea.

 

[Kupu2]

Kupu, I think alexithymia is what you are referring to? Having various levels of shutdowns can cause disassociation such that it's super challenging to identify emotions. A therapist explained to me that all emotions are first experienced as physical sensations. Well, we kind of don't feel those too clearly, either.
It can be tough to recognize and identify what's going on with our bodies.

When I am feeling that sense of growing urgency, coupled with the strong perception that something is wrong, I eventually may give up trying to guess what is the matter, amd just try to cover all bases.
I'll go potty, even if I don't think that's the problem.
I'll get a drink of cool water.
I'll eat a small snack.
I'll take a few ibuprofen.
I'll briefly walk my dog in nature, then do a brief ten minute Zen sitting meditation. (In case it's anxiety)
Finally, I sequester myself in quietude and solitude, curl up with a good book on my favorite special interest, amd sip some soothing tea.

Yes, alexithymia is the word. I am still reeling from the awareness of how different I am from the image I sell of myself. I think I'm not comfortable owning it yet. Anyway...

Again, you have a way of articulating things so eloquently. What you say about yourself and your response to shut down is me. I hadn't realised I have a default setting I fall into when overwhelmed and utterly confused. So, my day off work yesterday was probably more due to the need for self soothing/healing than the head cold per se. I found myself wandering between guilt for not being at work, yet not enough energy to be lifting 40kg parts and crawling under diesel tanks and cross members. The cold has broken over night and I'm drowning in phlegm, but I now know it was self preservation mode. I'd been fighting it since Wednesday.

This is a very hard road to walk. I am quite shocked at how autistic I actually am. I thank you, Warmheart, for having tread your path before me. You provide me with words I can point at and know it is me. You are endless in your support of us all and that is a huge gift you bring. If ever you are in my nick of the woods, I'd be honoured to take you out to lunch. Somewhere quiet and picturesque.

 

[Kupu2]

I believe that a you should have a connection with your doctor or at least like him in order to get a quick, correct diagnosis. Like people, they are all different. I have been through three cardiologists. Don't feel bad about shopping around.

I do not think there are many people that are all bubbly when they are sick. My wife will not even try to talk to me when I am sick. She says that I am a big baby.

My usual GP is BUSY! Always booked out solid. This was an emergency appointment, simply to present work with a medical certificate. Without it, I don't get paid.

I have had 2nd thoughts about this other GP. He is young, and probably eager to cover his bases and ... help. I think he could learn a lot from me. Perhaps it might do us both some good to have me see him from now on. I will be forced to slow down and articulate myself to him. He will be forced to see things from my perspective. Maybe I should take a bit more care with things like regular blood tests and pap smears... I actually want to be around to help my boys into adulthood. Hmmm...*brain cogs ticking over*.

 

[WereBear]

If I notice any part of my body, that's a bad thing!

 

[WereBear]

Yes, alexithymia is the word. I am still reeling from the awareness of how different I am from the image I sell of myself. I think I'm not comfortable owning it yet. Anyway...

I know what you mean. But there is also beauty in having new pieces to add to the puzzle. In fact, separating the "real you" from the "image I sell of myself" is something I am also wrestling with.

This is a very hard road to walk. I am quite shocked at how autistic I actually am. I thank you, Warmheart, for having tread your path before me. You provide me with words I can point at and know it is me. You are endless in your support of us all and that is a huge gift you bring. If ever you are in my nick of the woods, I'd be honoured to take you out to lunch. Somewhere quiet and picturesque.

I agree. Warmheart is so well named

 

[Kupu2]

Come to think of it, I've never known when I'm ill or in pain. Even when I fractured my arm, I didn't get it seen to til a few days later. I never saw a dr about my dislocated shoulder. A family member took me to see a Balinese balian (shaman) to get it dealt with. I had no idea it wasn't just bruised. I am SO disconnected from my body. I wish I wasn't. But I can become connected when I weight lift.

WereBear , you are right; there is beauty to the puzzle pieces presenting themselves. It is liberating to a degree.

 

[WereBear]

I am SO disconnected from my body. I wish I wasn't. But I can become connected when I weight lift.

To me, that means you learned to disconnect. During weight lifting, you have already learned to NOT disconnect.

You simply need to do it more often.