How do you cope in public?

[superboyian]

In some ways I feel I should do but I feel more confident in myself in public that it feels I don't really need to put on a full mask but I've heard that some people who are on the spectrum feels like they need to put on a mask in public.

Plus having social anxieties didn't help me either and used to be afraid of crowds, even worse when it was heavy crowds to the point where I feel like to actually scream but I can't, and I think getting troubled in school by that kid in school probably what developed it really?

I'm not afraid of crowds like I used to but still have my awkward moments then.

So yea, how do you cope in public?

 

[eon]

Really actively thinking about the things others probably expect from a regular person like reacting to greeting, certain quick small talk.. I have some scripts that I sort of queue up in my mind when I know I will have to be engaging someone like a cashier or other professional... that way my mind is on the words I should say to help the other person feel comfortable and not have a weird thought about me.

I am reading a book on social thinking and I have made some progress.. prior to now I wasn't cognizant that my social behavior was unusual (nonexistant) so it's strange to all of a sudden be bothered somewhat when I notice I failed to do the expected response or behavior, somewhat disarming the people around me...

 

[TotodilePika]

I do good in public actually. I can buy things by myself. I am learning to talk more and that is working out OK. A few days ago I was out with my aunt and my boyfriend, and my aunt told this guy at the place we we at the we are both autistic, and the guy was like really? I would of never even known. Is that good or what? :cute: Things were not that good when I was younger tho.

 

[PanPaniscus]

I'm totally fine in public. Except when asking for stuff in shops, I'm like a total spaz then. Yesterday I went to the wrong counter with the catalogue number, then got totally confused when the woman was on about batteries and stuff.

 

[Droopy]

I manage fine in public. I can even manage crowds at music concerts, although I still get nervous and am very cautious. I do tend to shy away from engaging with a shop assistant or paying for stuff at the till. Generally speaking, I'm much better adapted now that what I used to be when I was younger.

 

[whale_bone]

I am generally okay in public... I do those script things too. but I get anxious if I run into someone I know out of the blue. Oh and I can't stand line-ups especially at grocery stores. I find it difficult knowing how much space to give or what to do with myself while I wait. The other thing is I don't know what to say to people I see fairly regularly but don't actually know... like the people that work at the local cafe. It's awkward to just stick to script but if i venture away from it I tend to freak them out.

 

[petrossa]

I mostly just blunder ahead, try to stay out of the way of people. I zone myself out when i'm in a large group, or waiting in line. I avoid gatherings of any sort as much as i can. Why bother? I'm perfectly fine in my little world.

 

[superboyian]

I do good in public actually. I can buy things by myself. I am learning to talk more and that is working out OK. A few days ago I was out with my aunt and my boyfriend, and my aunt told this guy at the place we we at the we are both autistic, and the guy was like really? I would of never even known. Is that good or what? :cute: Things were not that good when I was younger tho.

I get told that too, people wouldn't believe that I was autistic, I remember telling one of my mates that and he totally didn't believe that I was, he thought I didn't look it either but sort of noticed a few signs afterwards.

 

[Geordie]

I try to cope in public by hiding behind a book at all times.

 

[CJinherPJs]

I think I'm a lot better in public than I was. I used to avoid social situations out of fear of making a right tit of myself, but now I'm willing to put myself out there and have been making more of an effort to talk to people. They're not as bad as I thought!

 

[Geordie]

Indeed, people are good unless they are all out to trick us --- but still people are mostly good.

 

[_Josh_]

I'm fairly comfortable in public most of the time as long as I'm not singled out by anyone, or the cashier doesn't try to engage me in small talk. The elderly lady type cashiers are really bad about that, wanting to chat and such, but younger ones don't ever say anything, no words exchanged other than them telling me how much my items ring up to. The hardware stores bug me though, they always have those overly helpful people coming up to you to ask if they can help you find something. I just simply say, "nah I'm fine" even if I'm having trouble finding something. Crowds on the other hand oddly don't seem to bother me. I feel as if I can hide in a crowd. Of course then again, the only time I am ever in any type of crowd is at the odd concert I attend or the annual airshow I frequent every two or three years or so.

 

[_Josh_]

Yeah Sportster, I agree wholeheartedly with you there. I didn't think of restaurants, and that's one of my worst places. I get extremely nervous and fidgety in any sit down restaurants no matter what, or even fast food places for that matter. If they are over crowded or there's a long line to order, I would much rather just walk out, but considering I'm always with someone since I don't drive myself, I can't do that so just have to suffer through it. With the sit down places though, I tend to calm down quite a bit once the food comes to me. I guess it's because I can focus on the good food rather than all the people around.

 

[King_Oni]

I don't cope... cause if possible I'll ignore getting out at all. I'll usually end up doing groceries at 8 in the morning when the store just opened and I'm the only person in. Or go there just before closing when it's similarly empty.

I wont leave the house without my ipod (and similarly, I won't leave the house if I don't know what I want to listen to, cause forcing myself is really detrimental for me) even. And I prefer to have a solid plan why I need to leave the house and do it as effective as I can so I can get back home do whatever I like and feel comfy with that.

That being said; I'm not too worried about doing groceries and all. I can do those fine, as I can do most stuff. But for me it's more that I get all nervous and fidgety when it's not a streamlined and effective process. Waiting in line with talking crowds for instance annoys me way too much and I'm more likely to drop my groceries and come back at a later time. I don't feel really awkward for asking questions in a store or so either, though I tend get some kind of script so I know what to ask, how to ask and preferably have the most direct way to get the question out and leave with the correct information as soon as possible.

 

[Loomis]

When I go out in public I automatically ignore everyone around me; they are just bodies with whom I have no intention of interacting. I make no eye contact but I am polite and stay out of their way. I do not feel their presence and it is almost as if they do not exist. When I check out and buy something I treat it as a formal business transaction requiring only information exchange and mainly mechanical actions. I am courteous and if the clerk says have a nice day I respond with something like "you too." This approach allows me to go out into public and be comfortable having a stress free experience.

 

[Aalo]

For me it totally depends, over all it has gotten much worse during recent years.
On some days I'm fine, on others I forget things and spasm all around the mall, or where ever I am. I've always been telling that I like waiting in queues, because it gives me excuse standing still in my own thoughts, to realize how miserable everyone else looks with their rigid schedules. Waiting in peace is something I could do anywhere, anytime, but I mostly won't as I'm afraid of looking suspicious and stupid in public. I always try to go without time limits in case I need some extra time for resting or see something I definitely need to investigate more closely. If I'm in real hurry, I often make specifications for myself so it's not that easy to get lost in it all.

Mostly I don't get annoyed by other people, I can even chat some with strangers. I've enough effort on trying to stay in my own complexions. There are times I casually go to public places often after lectures etc, and the only idea of that is to see people so that I wouldn't forget how they're like. I like it in fairly crowded places where I can hide in the masses. It's better to stimm where none has time to look at you rather than being the only other person people see.

 

[Ylva]

Since some of my emotions are impossible to negotiate with (and just don't respect diplomatic immunity), and social angst is among them, I tend to go the other way. I imagine the absolute worst scenario (and my worst-case scenarios are pretty bad) and asign that scenario a probability. I just kepp doing that until my imagination can't or won't come up with any more. This forces things into perspective because all my imaginings are extremely unlikely to happen, and knowing this I feel calmer.

Mind you, I do not try to make them silly. That would never have worked since it wouldn't be honest.

 

[SUM1]

I have a PHOBIA of crowds, ever since I nearly suffocated in one at school. I also don't like being around loads of people in general.

 

[anne.bc]

I am fine in public, as long as I don't have a meltdown. I had one in a restaurant. Those are the worst... ugh... I had a meltdown in Olive Garden and I ran to the bathroom just to freaking collect myself. My dad has Alzheimer's and because of the disease it's hard to read him, so I misinterpret everything he says just like how he misinterprets everything I say. Plus my fiance is kind of a troll and sometimes just doesn't know when to stop horsing around and it actually hurts my feelings.

I'm high functioning but in certain situations I am not. I have made great strides with my life since my diagnosis at age 7, especially with social. Some wouldn't suspect that I have it until I mention it!

 

[Intemporal_Reverie]

By avoiding it all together... No, it depends on the circumstances and overall situation. If its a large crowd, I usually walk very fast through crowds and remain focused almost as if I am chasing someone or looking for someone through a mass of people. I walk fast and I'm very serious. There are so many variables involved in this question. But there's one example of something I typically do.