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How do I stop having crushes?

superboyian

Former Co-Owner
V.I.P Member
How do I stop myself having crushes because right now, I really don't want to screw up, I just hate the fact that I have them, I saw this quiet person that I see around, she doesn't seem to be hanging around with her mates as such and she seems smart and I only wanted to get to know her.

Next thing you know, I now start having a little crush but I don't want to cheat and I don't want to end up being a royal butt just for making the same mistake that I did ages back (it's a long story).

What do I do to stop this? I can't stand it.

To make matters worse, one of my best mate tells me that me and her would suit each other... <sarcasm>Great that was so helpful </sarcasm>


- SBI :/
 
You can't stop having crushes, they are perfectly normal and unavoidable.

The trick is to accept that they are a normal, biological part of being a young adult and to try not to obsess over them too much.

So stop feeling guilty about having crushes, let yourself daydream about what it would be like to be with someone... but at the same time keep in the back of your mind that if you go acting on these sort of crushes you will just mess your life up - it would never be worth it.
 
I really don't think you can stop having them either, they are just part of human nature, as was mentioned by the poster above. The key is definitely to be careful though, as was mentioned too. I know that I had many crushes back when I was in high school and college, and ironically they usually were for people who had personalities way different than mine who I probably would not have even been compatible with. Most of them were people who were party people and were very social, when I am pretty much the opposite.

Usually, that special person comes along when you least expect it and you aren't even looking for it. That is what happened with myself and my wife. We met at a time that neither of us were even looking for a relationship and we got married less than two years later. So you never really know what is going to happen or when a relationship will find you.
 
Well, I don't think it's possible for me personally, to have a crush on someone else other than my wife. So my post probably won't be very helpful.

But I'd just say I doubt there's anything you can do about it. Just try and ignore it? There's a saying that says "The grass is always greener on the other side". Maybe that's the issue?
 
I recently had an intellectual crush, but I just kept telling myself it wouldn't work & I can get crushes on people if I see them regularly.

The problem is that if you give it a minute, you soon find everybody has something about them that is attractive to you, could be personality, mannerisms, appearance, speech or any number of other things.

Possibly, crushes are there to make us not want to hit each other with sticks but it could be an outdated mechanism for extending the tribe too.
 
No real way to stop them as much as acknowledge them as being what they are; crushes. When you're self-aware enough to know that what you have is a crush and nothing more, the notion will pass quicker.
 
You really can't help having a crush on someone as it is a reflection of how you feel, but you always have control over your actions. I would advise just avoiding her for a while (with out being rude of course) until the initial thrill of having met her wears down. In the meantime love the one you're with.
 
Throw everything against the wall and see what sticks.

Translation: pursue both of them and see which relationship "works". If both end up working, ask both girls how they feel about 3-ways.
 
Most of the time there's nothing you can do, you just have to get on with life until the feeling goes away.

The only thing I've found to work is learning more about the person. I guess most of the problem is creating a personality and projecting it to the other person, and when the real them differs to my image of them I just stop caring.
 
I don't know of any risk tied to it. I have washed off a few crushes/heartbreaks/so-called "friends", and not even one of those washes was accidental. I don't think it is possible to accidentally wipe someone you want to care about. You're not being Chelsead, after all.
 

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