Have you ever felt that you don't belong even in the Aspergers/ Autism community?

[epath13]

I have never felt that I belong, even now among people, whom I have so much in common with, I feel like a stranger.
My theory is that every single person in this world is alone and feeling of belonging is simply an illusion, an illusion necessary for survival of human race. People on the spectrum recognize it, they live it, they suffer through it...possibly not all.
But...I'm not going to deny that it could be as simple as a glitch in the brain's "wiring" that causing us ( or me personally) to think that it's true.

 

[BruceCM]

I certainly don't 'feel that I belong' but I'm not sure I 'feel like a stranger', either; never been good at those sorts of feelings!

 

[. . .]

I don't belong anywhere. I have to control myself in order to not offend people or have people consider me as being "extreme". I sometimes believe I was meant to be born a billion years in the future.

 

[epath13]

To ??? - At 1st I wasn't sure if I should reply, but then I thought - it is interesting, it is similar to the way I feel...sort of. When I was little kid I felt as if I was 1000 yeas old and born again against my will. I didn't care much for life. On occasion I would find something interesting about it but then I'd start wondering - what's the point. Around the age of 4-5 I decided that I have to fall in love with life otherwise it's not worth living. I even had an idea to remember every single day of my life) well, that didn't work I also had to convince myself that I have to like and respect other human beings no matter how ignorant or cruel they are sometimes.

 

[superboyian]

To ??? - At 1st I wasn't sure if I should reply, but then I thought - it is interesting, it is similar to the way I feel...sort of. When I was little kid I felt as if I was 1000 yeas old and born again against my will. I didn't care much for life. On occasion I would find something interesting about it but then I'd start wondering - what's the point. Around the age of 4-5 I decided that I have to fall in love with life otherwise it's not worth living. I even had an idea to remember every single day of my life) well, that didn't work I also had to convince myself that I have to like and respect other human beings no matter how ignorant or cruel they are sometimes.

I actually like the fact that you have to like and respect a human being no matter what.. I find that interesting what you said there.

 

[TETSUO]

I can agree on this one. I always feel liek an outsider and I am always looking for accptance, not from every one but groups that are important to me, Family, Work, Friends and even here.

I cant explain it

 

[Pinky]

Ive always thought my obsessions were wierd, even to other Aspies

 

[IContainMultitudes]

I feel like I fit in just fine with the aspies I know online, but I can't help but worry a little that if I ever had a chance to go to any kind of IRL aspie gathering (some nearby bigger cities have regular aspie meetups that aren't support groups that I might try to go to sometime; pretty much the only autism/asperger's support I know of in the town that I live in are support groups for parents of aspie kids), the other people there would be kind of like, "What are you doing here?" since I generally appear pretty "normal" on the outside (if I don't, people might be too polite to tell me) even though I don't feel "normal" at all on the inside. I can't help but wonder if someone like me who didn't know that they were an aspie until age 30 would fit in well with people who were diagnosed in their teens or younger. I worry a little that I'm too "weird" to hang out with "regular" people but too "normal" to hang out with most aspies (no offense intended to anyone). I'm slightly worried that other aspies at an aspie meetup I attended would look at me sort of like Ed Norton's character in the movie Fight Club who attends support groups for diseases and disorders that he doesn't really have.

Maybe the thing to do would be to find some kind of social group that isn't an aspie group per se but one for people who have common aspie interests.

 

[Tigerlily]

I feel like I fit in just fine with the aspies I know online, but I can't help but worry a little that if I ever had a chance to go to any kind of IRL aspie gathering (some nearby bigger cities have regular aspie meetups that aren't support groups that I might try to go to sometime; pretty much the only autism/asperger's support I know of in the town that I live in are support groups for parents of aspie kids), the other people there would be kind of like, "What are you doing here?" since I generally appear pretty "normal" on the outside (if I don't, people might be too polite to tell me) even though I don't feel "normal" at all on the inside. .. I worry a little that I'm too "weird" to hang out with "regular" people but too "normal" to hang out with most aspies

I feel this exact same way. I am sufficiently high functioning that I feel like I'd be rejected by some with aspergers - but at the same time i have always been rejected by the NTs and most of the time I have no idea why. I have another friend in real life who is high functioning and had a late in life diagnosis, and we're able to accept each other fine. We were friends for a long time before we knew this about ourselves though.

So maybe you just need to hang out with other high functioning aspies who want to be themselves without someone telling them they're full of crap.

This topic reminds me of an excerpt from the spoken word "Dance, monkeys, dance!" wherein the author says: "And the monkeys feel alone. ALL. SIX. BILLION. of them." (monkeys being people in this instance)