Have problems loosing and keeping friends

[Grandmother B]

Hi, iam wanting to know other peoples experiences being an aspie. Iam 21 years old fixing to go to Texas A&M University at Galveston in fall of 2017 to major in marine biology. My biggest problem is making and keeping friends. Usually I get made fun of and even ignored from a group disscusion because may act diffrent. I typically come across alot of jerks to where i tend not to talk that much. To be honest I had have no girl have an intrest in me and not a single one really had a real converstation with me. no matter how respectful or nice iam to my peers it just doesn't matter. I try to have fun and share intrest but that never works either. So in reality I've never had any real friends my whole life. Iam kind of fearful that I may not find anyone at the campus who has the same issue as me or have anyone accept me for who iam. It's just real hard being an aspie for me but I tend to supress it from others.

Have you heard of www.aspergerexperts.com? They have quite a bit of free advice and tips for Aspies. They have AS themselves, so they know what they are talking about. Don't let anyone tell you the site is a money making scam; it's not. They do have paid programs, but also like I said, a lot of free content that may help you. I like the idea of starting a group for people with AS. Best of luck to you!

 

[Grandmother B]

Imagine not knowing you're an Aspie until you are 58, divorced, and broke. My psychologist thought no knowing was better. Maybe it was. I accomplished a lot in my career as a journalist and attorney. I have created several self-published books, two musical plays, and a regular blog, not realing that my personality is not geared toward success in these areas, at least without a great deal of help from a mentor. My siblings have basically ignored me and disrespected me, as have their children. I have an advanced degree, but just yesterday applied for food stamps.
I don't know how my life would have been different if I had known. Perhaps, I would have chosen carefully. Most people don't have a mirror. But the rear view kind is downright self-destructive. For an HFA in school today, looking to use their talents. I would say only this: Stretch yourself. The most famous and important human beings have been HFA: Einstein, Tesla, Zuckerberg, just to name a few. We, as a whole, have a greater impact on society than any other group. In that way, we are the chosen people. We must go forward because we are special. Don't ask the rest to understand, because they never will. It is that light of knowledge that keeps alive and moving forward. I continue to write my blogs, my books, my screenplays, read and learn everyday, knowing deep down that it will not support me financially, but that I am contributing to society in my own way. God has given me a gift of understanding that those others can never have. I will share it because God has given me the gift of written communication, and because that was I was born to do.

It sounds like you have accomplished a whole lot in your life. I applaud you! You might find some help on www.aspergerexperts.com for when you feel down or self-doubting. Blessings and good luck!

 

[Momo]

Keeping and making friends is very, very difficult for me.

 

[Dillon]

Keeping and making friends is very, very difficult for me.

The only easy way I make some kind of friend is if he or she talks first. If I say something first hand I tend to stutter and and I'll have some people get aggervated or get impatient when I can't get the first words out of my mouth

 

[VanillaCola]

I have always had trouble making and keeping friends throughout my life too. People always have to talk to me first because I am very shy around people.

 

[Dillon]

I have always had trouble making and keeping friends throughout my life too. People always have to talk to me first because I am very shy around people.

Iam afraid if I talk to someone first I might stumble on my words since I tend to stutter sometimes (said it in my previous post but I'll say it again). I might also get a bad impression on people but as I tell myself I can't let negative things and people stop my from having a successful life.

 

[Babyc]

Hi! One of the best thing in life is to have a real friend. You are worried of keeping friends, why don't you go for a counseling to so that your personality will be evaluated and you might need a personality development. That might be the cause why you can't keep your friends.

 

[Meila]

Hello everybody, I have a lot of issues with friends too, but the thing that I really try to hold onto is that real friends will always be there for you, and being an aspie requires slightly different, more compassionate friends. But I think in the end, those friendships become so valuable and beautiful, it's priceless I was really badly hurt by a group of 15 girls, who I thought were my friends, but clearly I misread the intentions. But now, I have a single person that truly does stand by me through the breakdowns and all, and you realise that the patience is truly worth it. You're very special, and so the real friends you will find will be so special too x

 

[Meila]

Iam afraid if I talk to someone first I might stumble on my words since I tend to stutter sometimes (said it in my previous post but I'll say it again). I might also get a bad impression on people but as I tell myself I can't let negative things and people stop my from having a successful life.

Awww Dillon trust me real friends will never care about that, they'll probably love it as a feature of you x

 

[Meila]

Imagine not knowing you're an Aspie until you are 58, divorced, and broke. My psychologist thought no knowing was better. Maybe it was. I accomplished a lot in my career as a journalist and attorney. I have created several self-published books, two musical plays, and a regular blog, not realing that my personality is not geared toward success in these areas, at least without a great deal of help from a mentor. My siblings have basically ignored me and disrespected me, as have their children. I have an advanced degree, but just yesterday applied for food stamps.
I don't know how my life would have been different if I had known. Perhaps, I would have chosen carefully. Most people don't have a mirror. But the rear view kind is downright self-destructive. For an HFA in school today, looking to use their talents. I would say only this: Stretch yourself. The most famous and important human beings have been HFA: Einstein, Tesla, Zuckerberg, just to name a few. We, as a whole, have a greater impact on society than any other group. In that way, we are the chosen people. We must go forward because we are special. Don't ask the rest to understand, because they never will. It is that light of knowledge that keeps alive and moving forward. I continue to write my blogs, my books, my screenplays, read and learn everyday, knowing deep down that it will not support me financially, but that I am contributing to society in my own way. God has given me a gift of understanding that those others can never have. I will share it because God has given me the gift of written communication, and because that was I was born to do.

wow this is the most beautiful thing I've read so far on here, so eternally true about our impact, thank you so much x

 

[C Flo]

Iam afraid if I talk to someone first I might stumble on my words since I tend to stutter sometimes (said it in my previous post but I'll say it again). I might also get a bad impression on people but as I tell myself I can't let negative things and people stop my from having a successful life.

Dillon, copy and paste for me. You sound just like me. Over times, I built walls and it's been making it very difficult to even have a conversation with people.

Got no advice, just letting you know you're not alone. Still working through it and it's been a long time.

Good luck.

 

[Emmz]

I feel your pain, pal. But from my experience of university, it's a whole load easier to connect with like-minded people than it is at school, or later in the workplace. For me, I made it through my three years by joining a rock climbing club, so when I wasn't actually climbing I was generally socialising with climbers and talking about climbing. I've not been near a rock now for years, but am still in touch with some of my old climbing buddies 20 years on.
It doesn't matter what your interest is - whether it's vintage motorbikes or origami, there's likely to be a group you can join where people won't think you're weird if you share their passion.