Hating Sunday evenings

[red_dog]

It is Sunday evening again & I hate it. It feels like once again I have wasted the weekend, without getting all the things done that I need or wanted to. I thought weekends were meant to be relaxing, so I would be well rested and ready for the stresses of the week. It doesn't work like that for me. Weekends have no structure to keep them in order - and it seems like a huge effort to get organised enough to get anything done. I end up more stressed & tired at the end of the weekend than I was before the weekend, not because I have physically done lots, but because getting anything done take a huge amount of emotional energy. I am more likely to get things done on a weekday evening than on a whole day of the weekend. Having two whole days to fill is just an excuse to procrastinate and do very little.

The other thing I hate about Sunday evenings is that I often think about the week ahead and the things that could go wrong. I over think things and get quite anxious about possible problems.

Is anyone else like this?

 

[baz]

Hi Red Dog
first off I've just adjusted my clock to move it forward an hour for British summertime, but you seem to have overdone it haven't you.
my wife says I'm an idiot and that you are most likely from somewhere like Australia or new Zealand. Or are you from Pandora or some someplace else.
sorry, in answer to your question, I think everyone struggles with Sunday and the thought of work tomorrow. Im self employed and I still dread going to work having to listen to the same old **** from everyone.
For me, aspergers multiplies everything by a million percent, so Monday really is hell on earth.

 

[royinpink]

It is Sunday evening again & I hate it. It feels like once again I have wasted the weekend, without getting all the things done that I need or wanted to. I thought weekends were meant to be relaxing, so I would be well rested and ready for the stresses of the week. It doesn't work like that for me. Weekends have no structure to keep them in order - and it seems like a huge effort to get organised enough to get anything done. I end up more stressed & tired at the end of the weekend than I was before the weekend, not because I have physically done lots, but because getting anything done take a huge amount of emotional energy. I am more likely to get things done on a weekday evening than on a whole day of the weekend. Having two whole days to fill is just an excuse to procrastinate and do very little.

The other thing I hate about Sunday evenings is that I often think about the week ahead and the things that could go wrong. I over think things and get quite anxious about possible problems.

Is anyone else like this?

Yeah, I totally know that feeling. I think it's easier if you don't put so much pressure on yourself to do certain things. Just give yourself time to recuperate from the week. And if you have a few stable things you can count on doing over the weekend, make a routine out of them. I'm still working on it but getting better...

 

[Judge]

Is anyone else like this?

I'd say it appears that most everyone is like that to some extent.

Noting that statistically most heart attacks occur on Mondays more than any other day of the week. All too often involving people trying to get everything they wanted done unrelated to work on a single weekend. They don't get what they wanted accomplished, and bam! Then they have to go to work. So the cycle of stress repeats itself for the next weekend. Made far worse if you're dealing with a lot of stress on the job as well.

A classic issue for my deceased father. He had to retire after his second heart attack. Three people took over his one job. All three resigned within one year.

 

[DogwoodTree]

I learned a long time ago to make Saturday my "guilt-free" day. It's truly my rest day, in whatever way I need it to be in any particular week (except sometimes with the kids' schedules it doesn't always work out that way, but that's a different story).

As much as possible, I set Saturday aside to rest and re-energize, and I refuse to feel guilty for anything not accomplished that day. I don't think about work, I don't work on the house, I don't have a to-do list, and I don't beat myself up if I spend the whole day watching Star Trek re-runs. It's a free day, with (almost) no responsibilities...no have-to's.

Then I feel more energized on Sunday to accomplish some things, but I have a light to-do list on Sundays. It's enough so that I feel like I've accomplished something at the end of the day, but only a light load so I have a better chance of meeting my goal. That really helps boost my energy for Monday, when my to-do list expands for the weekdays.

Now it doesn't always work out this way--with 4 kids, I can't always control my schedule as much as I'd like. But I've been doing this for over 10 years, and even as my schedule has fluctuated significantly with adding more kids throughout that time, and my work situation changing, and my emotional needs changing...Saturday as my rest day has served as an anchor for my week. Can't say I always look forward to Mondays or anything, but at least I don't hate them the way I used to.

 

[nowwhat]

I mostly hate Sunday afternoons/evenings now because I went from working alone for 23 years, to working all day closely with 3-5 other people. Work for me is now 8 hours of constant verbal communication, as well as physical collaboration on work. I start to get anxious on Sunday, girding myself for the upcoming week, and it gets me down a bit. So, I have my own version of what you are referring to. My way of thinking of it is that I tend to stupidly start my work week 18 hours early. Fortunately, I start work quite early, and get home before anyone else in my family, so I have some recharge time each day.

 

[Sarsaparilla]

It is Sunday evening again & I hate it. It feels like once again I have wasted the weekend, without getting all the things done that I need or wanted to. I thought weekends were meant to be relaxing, so I would be well rested and ready for the stresses of the week. It doesn't work like that for me. Weekends have no structure to keep them in order - and it seems like a huge effort to get organised enough to get anything done. I end up more stressed & tired at the end of the weekend than I was before the weekend, not because I have physically done lots, but because getting anything done take a huge amount of emotional energy. I am more likely to get things done on a weekday evening than on a whole day of the weekend. Having two whole days to fill is just an excuse to procrastinate and do very little.

The other thing I hate about Sunday evenings is that I often think about the week ahead and the things that could go wrong. I over think things and get quite anxious about possible problems.

Is anyone else like this?

Yes I totally feel like this a lot of the time. I think I often have unrealistic expectations for the weekend and don't factor in the amount of downtime I need to recover from the week. Like you, I also find the lack of structure difficult to manage and can procrastinate far too much leaving myself trying to get things on Sunday evening being hard on myself. Also a lot of things I need to do at the weekend, like tidying, cleaning, shopping etc rely on the areas of executive functioning that I am weakest on, which makes me more likely to procrastinate. I can really relate to feeling tireder at the end of a weekend than at the beginning.

As much as possible, I set Saturday aside to rest and re-energize, and I refuse to feel guilty for anything not accomplished that day. I don't think about work, I don't work on the house, I don't have a to-do list, and I don't beat myself up if I spend the whole day watching Star Trek re-runs. It's a free day, with (almost) no responsibilities...no have-to's.

This is a really good suggestion - I think I may use this idea

 

[red_dog]

Thanks for the replies. I knew that lots of people don't want the working week to start again, but it is reassuring to know that others feel the same about the pressure to get things done over the weekend.

Also a lot of things I need to do at the weekend, like tidying, cleaning, shopping etc rely on the areas of executive functioning that I am weakest on, which makes me more likely to procrastinate.

I had never really thought about which particular tasks I struggle with - especially in terms of executive functioning. Can anyone give me a link so I can find out more about executive function? I don't really understand what it is, or what tasks rely on it more. Is there anything I can do to improve or counteract poor executive function?

I learned a long time ago to make Saturday my "guilt-free" day. It's truly my rest day, in whatever way I need it to be in any particular week (except sometimes with the kids' schedules it doesn't always work out that way, but that's a different story).

As much as possible, I set Saturday aside to rest and re-energize, and I refuse to feel guilty for anything not accomplished that day. I don't think about work, I don't work on the house, I don't have a to-do list, and I don't beat myself up if I spend the whole day watching Star Trek re-runs. It's a free day, with (almost) no responsibilities...no have-to's.

Love the idea of a Guilt-free Saturday, and I think I need to write down my to-do list for Sunday so I don't make it too long and unrealistic.

And if you have a few stable things you can count on doing over the weekend, make a routine out of them. I'm still working on it but getting better...

What routines do people have for the weekend that help them manage their time better?

 

[tree]

The Science of Smart: A Surprising Way To Improve Executive Function - Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers — Secret Life of Scientists and Engineers | PBS

What Is Executive Functioning? | 8 Key Executive Skills Explained - Understood

The second one uses the word 'child,' but has a good looking/easy to read format.
Everybody is somebody's child......The information applies regardless of age, I think.

 

[Warmheart]

Hey there RedDog! Since I'm the most dorky, discombobulated executive-functioning doofus out there, I have some cool work-arounds I use, which may help you.

!. A wall calendar with big blocks and a dark Sharpie marker let me write appointments in by the week, so I can see what's coming.
2. A teeny weekly planner fits in my backpack, so when on-the-go, I can write in appointments as they're made (doc, therapist, etc.). then transcribe 'em when I get home to my wall calendar and Sharpie marker.
3. A special notebook just for lists rests on my kitchen counter, by the phone, with a Sharpie marker. "Mail package at post office," etc.
4. Water. I keep my body (and brain) hydrated. This helps when feeling overwhelmed.
5. Sunday evening sitting meditation. I simply follow my breathing. I ideally wish a clear, quiet mind, yet autism's busy mindscape makes that challenging. No worries. I simply allow my thoughts to come... and let them go. It is okay to allow a thoughts to enter my mind, I simply do not serve them tea. Gently, gently...

RedDog, you do a super job of articulating how you feel. I believe you will do well in finding just the right balance for your weekends.

 

[Sarsaparilla]

Here's another good set of articles on executive functioning from Musings of an Aspie Executive Function | Musings of an Aspie

 

[AsheSkyler]

I just don't like evenings in general because that's the noisiest time of day. Everybody is winding down, coming inside, and getting cranky since it's close to bedtime or in denial that they must go soon. Right now I dread Sunday evenings because my day to chill is quickly coming to a close and I'll have to go to work in the morning for another six day run.