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Featured Give meaning to your existence and keep going

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Full Steam, Jan 3, 2017.

  1. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member

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    I just want to say that since being here I've noticed people displaying amazing resilience, even through the stress and difficulties that are evident.

    One thing though, that often slips even for the most resilient of us, is the WHY. The meaning and the reason to go on struggling through.
    Without that, innate resilience and toughness built through hard knocks is just not enough.

    Goals help a lot, and they give a reason and a focus.

    For me, I have the following goals;

    I want to give my kids the best start I can.
    I want to build my business so it can help people.
    I want to make enough money so that I can build a charity/NFP.

    But some times even the goals are not enough, and I need a deeper reason.

    The one thing that's helped the most is a deeper WHY that gives meaning to the struggle itself;

    I may be going through hell right now, but I am building a story of resilience, and when I get through hell I will be able to help other people who are still walking through the fires.

    If you don't keep going, you won't build you're story and there may be someone in your future that REALLY needs to hear it. You owe it to that person to keep going.


    β€œHe who has a why to live for can bear almost any how.”

    ― Friedrich Nietzsche


    I don't really know any of you, but I believe in you.

    "When you're going through hell - keep going!"
     
    Last edited: Jan 4, 2017
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  2. wight

    wight Member

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    "He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
    Also Nietzsche

    I have discovered that I have no need of a why. Perhaps I have stared to long into the abyss of depression? Or finally, in the end, become the monster I was seeking to slay.
     
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  3. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member

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    Love that quote too.

    I guess the answer is in whether you are expressing your true nature or denying it.

    I find my most fundamental why is just to help people.
     
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  4. Adder1234

    Adder1234 Active Member

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    "Sure, I've got no reason to live, but I have even less of a reason to die." Another quote from the novel I'm writing. Essentially, you don't need a reason to live, you just need a reason not to die.
    My reason is purely because if I died I wouldn't get to experience the rest of my life, and dying this early in my life would be boring.
     
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  5. Jimbo

    Jimbo Well-Known Member

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    You have some great goals. You are so right. Everybody needs a purpose. It makes getting out of bed so much easier and worthwhile. I believe all people want to feel like they are leaving a mark on the world.

    I am so glad I have a daughter and wife that give me purpose, as well as a church family and one or two close friends.

    I also have the purpose of serving God as a layspeaker. It has always been my mission to help others experience God on a deeper level.

    Thank you for your post. You have reminded me of why I can look forward to each day with hope and joy!
     
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  6. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Think that I keep going for my spouse because I love him. Don't know what his life would have been without me. Likely much like his siblings, who have never left their respective provinces, or eaten anything other than hamburgers, chips and hot dogs their entire lives. My spouse is healthy and all of his siblings have passed away with the exception of one.
     
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  7. hiraeth

    hiraeth solitude is an art V.I.P Member

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    I like this discussion a lot. Well, as much as I normally am able to, since I am one of those people who never had close and long-term human relationships that were interdependent, literally ever. The vast majority of answers I find to this question fall into either "certain individuals are my purpose" or "curiosity and new experiences". Definitely more of the former than the latter. And, I am happy for everyone who can say that they have those things, but for me it often becomes a reaffirmation of why my search for meaning is doomed to failure. Because there is a lack of examples to follow of people in my position who have made it.

    I struggle with meaning and purpose because I keep running into barriers in the attempt to express my true nature. I am not denying it, but it seems like my luck or fate or whatever is hell-bent on doing so.

    Eventually it is quite easy to become convinced that it is "not meant to be". That being yourself is not meant to be.
     
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  8. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member

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    I found mine by noticing what I liked and then asking why repeatedly.

    I like doing xxxxx.
    Why? Because I like helping people.

    Toyota do this to streamline production. Choose a thing you do and ask why five times.
     
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  9. hiraeth

    hiraeth solitude is an art V.I.P Member

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    I have been doing this a fair amount with quite a few things. The answer always comes back as "because there is nothing better to do".
     
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  10. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member

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    Hmm, so what would you consider to be better?
     
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  11. hiraeth

    hiraeth solitude is an art V.I.P Member

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    I have no idea actually. Better as in more engaging? Or less exhausting? Or less "I would rather do this than sleep / be unconscious" feeling?
     
  12. FreeDiver

    FreeDiver How long can you hold your breath?

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    Here is an interesting TEDtalk video you might want to watch.
     
  13. Full Steam

    Full Steam Well-Known Member

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    The object of existence is to find what makes you come alive and then to do that with all your might.

    Not sure who said that (maybe just me:D!?).

    You can your purpose by examining what makes you come alive, and something will do so.


    Most NTs never bother looking. They get beaten down by life and side lined into jobs they hate.
     
  14. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Rambunctious Rambler V.I.P Member

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    I want to see my niece grow up and be there for her.
    I want to support my mum and also her and my dad in old age.
    It sounds animalistic which I don't like but I want to carry on my family lineage, not like it's about to die out but I want to do my part. I don't quite like the idea of procreating as an instinctive thing just because we are programmed that way.
    I don't want to be the reason why my children won't exist.

    "If you're going through hell, keep going." - Sir Winston Churchill.
     
  15. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    You misunderstand Hiraeth, I care for someone else, yet that doesn't mean that my reasons for existence are solely concerned with something outside myself.

    In order for this to have happened, I had to discover my own way to self-determination. I'm interested in many concepts, ideas, and the natural world. My focus and my desire has been to understand in some way my own being or reality. And it's that idea, to understand that has given me a reason for existence.

    I early on gave up on the idea of a higher authority, at about eight or nine years old. I think Sartre may have been right that there is nothing afterwards, but I had hoped for a time that there was. Early on in my life I studied myth and its function. Which led me to other religions. Yet they answered none of my questions, the universal ones that people ask for which there is no definitive answer. The ones that people have always asked.

    Perhaps our only reason for existence, is to ask those questions. And to come to terms with our own reality along the way.
     
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  16. OkRad

    OkRad Well-Known Member

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    This has perplexed me for days. I have not responded because I keep wondering why. I go in and out of suicide thoughts.

    I think it is certainly family on one hand but I am also feeling like I am a shame to my family and that my being here probably has made it worse for the family at times. So it is and it is not. But mostly indeed it is. I love my family. I just do not want to hurt them so I do keep going for them,

    Also, to piss off my abuser. I was abused young by someone who made me feel like I was worthless and I wanted to dispel that.

    Also to learn a lot. LIke I said, I was thought to be stupid. I was not and often still feel the need to prove it to myself and others. If people think I am stupid, that hurts me a lot. It may be why I refuse to be out and about without my books. I have very thick books I read in public because I get nervous in public, but it may be also to say "I may look stupid but I am not"

    Also to just keep going. I don't want to become part of the trillions and trillions and trillion of people who have gone on until it's my time.

    Also because ------just because-----I think "just because" is a very good reason if I may say so :) It's just what humans do!!

    THis is a great topic, by the way. Thank you Original Poster
     
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  17. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    hi full steam,i actually feel this is my 'why' to,i want to help other vulnerable people but especially autistics and intellectually disabled people,and also have an incredible passion for helping animals.
    when i get suicidal,and im not in to deep-i think to myself what would my animals do without me,they would be put into sanctuaries or worse put to sleep because they are old or have special needs.
    i have a drive to help the vulnerable,and i know without it i wouldnt be here.
     
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  18. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    There are no scraps of men, Albert Cairo.




    This is about existence, and what it might mean for some. Take from it what you will.
     
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  19. On the Inside

    On the Inside Well-Known Member

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    I have left behind the bigger things, the higher self, the dreams and goals. They were headings I steered towards in the past, but the winds always bore me away to some Other.

    While I am not depressed, not aimless, not out of hope, yet have no purpose but to do what I need to, what I can as well as what I can for others, those who are important to me.

    Not sure this makes sense, I 've had a difficult day, and I am far away from being able to think of goals and purpose. Sometimes, we just have to shovel manure.
     
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  20. Doylem

    Doylem New Member

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    I think of the Hindu tale of one knocking on the door of heaven and hearing the voice of God asking "Who goes there?". The only enlightened reply is,"It is you".
    I also think of Carl Sagan who said,"The Universe is all there is, there was, and all there ever will be. That we all are just the Universe contemplating itself".
    Now this mindset does give me peace. More and more as I begin more and more to identify with an eternal Universe above the mortal ego.
     
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