Getting women to approach me

[Vanadium50]

Do you guys have any tips on how to get women to approach me. Because I don't have guts to ever approach them myself, that part is non-negotiable. But I would love to hear some tips on how to improve my body language, the way I dress, and places I frequent, in order to get women to approach me.

As a background information, I am 36 years old. I USED to look younger than my age back in teens and 20-s. But for some reason as of now people don't seem to mistake my age by more than a couple of years which worries me. But perhaps it is something I can change like how I shave or what not. But in any case, I will never lie about my age that is out of question. All I am hoping for is for the girl to "know" I am 36 yet "still" being willing to date me because of the looks. I guess in looks part I am always disheaveled which is probably why I couldn't get girls before, and its too bad I realized the impact of being disheaveled that late in life. So I wish to put myself in order and get a girl in her 20-s -- even if its late 20-s that is also okay as long as its 20-s -- to make up for what I used to miss out on before.

I already have physics phd. (which I got at 29) but I am going back to school for the second ph.d, in math. Anyway what kinds of suggestions would you make?

 

[Cali Cat]

Not to be rude, but your attitude is kind of "sucky" right off the bat from a woman's point of view. That might be what keeps women in general from approaching you. You may exude desperation and a desire to "make up for what (you) used to miss out on before." Basically, you want to use a woman (or women) to indulge your fantasies. Doesn't sound to me like you are looking for a relationship, but just a f*ck buddy. You need to start looking at attractive women as people and not as targets.

I can guarantee that a man who is truly interested in what a woman thinks and has to say will find a companion no matter what he looks like. Women are not as hung up on looks as are men. We are not as visually stimulated. We do, however, have good olfactory senses, so if your personal hygiene isn't up to par, then that could be a big problem too. Most women like clean, tidy men ... especially if they aren't that much to look at otherwise.

I've been with some of the most attractive men around, and I've been with some of the least attractive. In all cases, it's because of their attitude towards me, not their looks, money, status, etc.

Practice actually giving a damn about women. Just because you want one doesn't mean you actually "like" them. Women can sense these things ... even Aspie women. I know I can.

Sorry, but you sound like you need a reality check.

 

[eonbus]

Not to be rude, but your attitude is kind of "sucky" right off the bat from a woman's point of view. That might be what keeps women in general from approaching you. You may exude desperation and a desire to "make up for what (you) used to miss out on before." Basically, you want to use a woman (or women) to indulge your fantasies. Doesn't sound to me like you are looking for a relationship, but just a f*ck buddy. You need to start looking at attractive women as people and not as targets.

I can guarantee that a man who is truly interested in what a woman thinks and has to say will find a companion no matter what he looks like. Women are not as hung up on looks as are men. We are not as visually stimulated. We do, however, have good olfactory senses, so if your personal hygiene isn't up to par, then that could be a big problem too. Most women like clean, tidy men ... especially if they aren't that much to look at otherwise.

I've been with some of the most attractive men around, and I've been with some of the least attractive. In all cases, it's because of their attitude towards me, not their looks, money, status, etc.

Practice actually giving a damn about women. Just because you want one doesn't mean you actually "like" them. Women can sense these things ... even Aspie women. I know I can.

Sorry, but you sound like you need a reality check.

radio the bat signal we have a problem on the loose. lol. kidding. he wanted positive and not negative. who cares. practice? what if he not sure? isnt there women out there that dont judge or mock people. we have attitude dumbasses in this world. give the man a break.

 

[eonbus]

Do you guys have any tips on how to get women to approach me. Because I don't have guts to ever approach them myself, that part is non-negotiable. But I would love to hear some tips on how to improve my body language, the way I dress, and places I frequent, in order to get women to approach me.

As a background information, I am 36 years old. I USED to look younger than my age back in teens and 20-s. But for some reason as of now people don't seem to mistake my age by more than a couple of years which worries me. But perhaps it is something I can change like how I shave or what not. But in any case, I will never lie about my age that is out of question. All I am hoping for is for the girl to "know" I am 36 yet "still" being willing to date me because of the looks. I guess in looks part I am always disheaveled which is probably why I couldn't get girls before, and its too bad I realized the impact of being disheaveled that late in life. So I wish to put myself in order and get a girl in her 20-s -- even if its late 20-s that is also okay as long as its 20-s -- to make up for what I used to miss out on before.

I already have physics phd. (which I got at 29) but I am going back to school for the second ph.d, in math. Anyway what kinds of suggestions would you make?

allow women to notice how you are. that'll tell all. dont be shy. just try to be you. dont let your nervousness get the best of you. maybe take your time going to therapy places. meet women that are very shy as you. or ones that have no guts like you. if you like a lady friend be sure to tell them.

 

[Cali Cat]

radio the bat signal we have a problem on the loose. lol. kidding. he wanted positive and not negative. who cares. practice? what if he not sure? isnt there women out there that dont judge or mock people. we have attitude dumbasses in this world. give the man a break.

Why do you think this thread has had 20 views and now only 3 replies?

Everybody is thinking the same thing I am, but are too nice to say anything.

It's called "tough love," eonbus.

 

[eonbus]

yeah tough love. and i see your threads of your fiance issues.

 

[Cali Cat]

yeah tough love. and i see your threads of your fiance issues.

Uh huh ... and I've had a few fiances. How many have you had? And how did that go?

I wouldn't get into a war of the words with me if I were you.

Watch yourself, little man.

 

[Vanadium50]

Basically, you want to use a woman (or women) to indulge your fantasies. Doesn't sound to me like you are looking for a relationship, but just a sex buddy.

And when did I say a single word about sex? In fact as a Christian I don't believe in sex before marriage. But you assumed it is all about sex because you make assumptions thats why my life is ****ed up cause everyone assumes things thats not even true.

Yes I am desperate but I am desperate for EMOTIONAL validation not for sex. But you just ASSUME men are all about sex. Well then in your mind you decided MEN are animals since you think all men care about is sex. How is this any better than men treating women as objects?

 

[Vanadium50]

Why do you think this thread has had 20 views and now only 3 replies?

Everybody is thinking the same thing I am, but are too nice to say anything.

It's called "tough love," eonbus.

Okay then how about i say loud and clear I AM CHRISTIAN I DON'T BELIEVE IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE WHAT I WANT IS EMOTIONAL VALIDATION. Should I put it in bold, in the title, or what??? I know for a fact I am not after sex yet everyone assumes that I am.

 

[Vanadium50]

Okay then how about i say loud and clear I AM CHRISTIAN I DON'T BELIEVE IN SEX BEFORE MARRIAGE WHAT I WANT IS EMOTIONAL VALIDATION. Should I put it in bold, in the title, or what??? I know for a fact I am not after sex yet everyone assumes that I am.

Still no reply, huh? I thought you had lots to way about men being all after sex. So what do you got to say if I tell you I am a Christian and I don't believe in sex before marriage. Do you not believe me or whats going on?

 

[tree]

Still no reply, huh? I thought you had lots to way about men being all after sex. So what do you got to say if I tell you I am a Christian and I don't believe in sex before marriage. Do you not believe me or whats going on?

It looks like she's not on-line right now, is all.
---------
What about your body language were you thinking
needed to be improved?

 

[Vanadium50]

It looks like she's not on-line right now, is all.
---------
What about your body language were you thinking
needed to be improved?

Well how about everyone else. As she pointed out, the reason the number of replies that I get is by far fewer than the number of views is because everyone thinks the same thing she is thinking. Well maybe she is right!!! So speak up. WHy do you guys think I am sex-obsessed maniak when I never once said it?

 

[tree]

It is also possible that there are more views than replies
because people just don't have what they consider to be
good suggestions. They were reading what was new/recently
posted.

That would be some pick-up line, wouldn't it?
"Hi, honey.
I'm a sex-obsessed maniac, so
how about it?"

Well, maybe later you will not feel so distracted and will get
back to what looked like the topic you started with: How to
be attractive to females.

 

[Vanadium50]

It is also possible that there are more views than replies
because people just don't have what they consider to be
good suggestions. They were reading what was new/recently
posted.

Then she wouldn't have said it would she. So, judging from what she said, all the other posts have comparable numbers of views and replies. Thats something totally new. So maybe all those years when I was getting much less replies than views, everyone thought the same thing she did, they just didn't verbalize it.

That would be some pick-up line, wouldn't it?
"Hi, honey.
I'm a sex-obsessed maniac, so
how about it?"

I didn't say I was. Once again, I don't believe in sex before marriage. All I said is that EVERYONE ELSE assumes that I am. When I said "maybe she is right" I meant she was right about EVERYONE ELSE's thinking; I never said she was right about mine.

Well, maybe later you will not feel so distracted and will get
back to what looked like the topic you started with: How to
be attractive to females.

I am not disracted. Look at how quickly I am replying. And yes this is the topic I want to talk about. And the closely related topic is: how to keep females from assumign things that ruin the attraction. And, justing from what she said, one of the things they assume is that I am sex obsessed maniak. Hence sub-topic "how to keep females from thinking I am sex obsessed maniak"

Oh I see, I also have to remind you that "how to be attractive to females" is NOT a synonym of "how to get quick sex". Yes I want to be attractive, no I am not after sex.

 

[Cali Cat]

Hahaha ... well, it's easy enough to see why you don't get the positive attention of women.

When in your three paragraphs of twaddle did you mention you were a Christian and didn't believe in sex before marriage?

Also, why does a woman have to be in her twenties then? There should be no age limit on emotional validation. Why wouldn't someone your own age he just a satisfactory?

See? Still wanting to use a woman for something. It may not be sex, but it's using just the same.

You have fantasy in your head and you're trying find someone to make it come true. That is why you strike out.

You may not like what I'm saying, but if you would cool your hot head down for a minute, you might come to grips with something that could change your life for the better.

And all your filthy language, that's a real attractive quality in a man too. Shows a lot of maturity and a real "Christian" attitude.

Hahaha ... the boy fancies himself a "Christian!!!"

Hahaha ... good one!

 

[Vanadium50]

Hahaha ... well, it's easy enough to see why you don't get the positive attention of women.

When in your three paragraphs of twaddle did you mention you were a Christian and didn't believe in sex before marriage?

Also, why does a woman have to be in her twenties then? There should be no age limit on emotional validation. Why wouldn't someone your own age he just a satisfactory?

See? Still wanting to use a woman for something. It may not be sex, but it's using just the same.

You have fantasy in your head and you're trying find someone to make it come true. That is why you strike out.

You may not like what I'm saying, but if you would cool your hot head down for a minute, you might come to grips with something that could change your life for the better.

And all your filthy language, that's a real attractive quality in a man too. Shows a lot of maturity and a real "Christian" attitude.

Hahaha ... the boy fancies himself a "Christian!!!"

Hahaha ... good one!

Okay as far as age goes, let me give extreme example: what if the woman is 70 year old. You won't say that not wanting to date 70 year old implies that I am using the women my age. Now fantasies would be some specific sexual scenario. I don't have any specific scenario in mind. All I want is what normal people do: go to theater, go to museums, and so forth. I am not picturing anything sexual at all. It "is" true that there is something about her being a female that makes it better experience than if it was male, and its also true that there is something about hre being in 20s that makes it better experience (just like there is something about her being in her 70s that would make it of less value) but that won't be using any more than what most people do.

 

[Cali Cat]

Okay as far as age goes, let me give extreme example: what if the woman is 70 year old. You won't say that not wanting to date 70 year old implies that I am using the women my age. Now fantasies would be some specific sexual scenario. I don't have any specific scenario in mind. All I want is what normal people do: go to theater, go to museums, and so forth. I am not picturing anything sexual at all. It "is" true that there is something about her being a female that makes it better experience than if it was male, and its also true that there is something about hre being in 20s that makes it better experience (just like there is something about her being in her 70s that would make it of less value) but that won't be using any more than what most people do.

I'm glad to see you settled down.

Now, whatever your original intent was, you did not word it properly. It gave the impression of being selfish and sexist.

Mind you, I have a very high level of tolerance for sexist remarks. I like Donald Trump. Therefore, I am not very sensitive on that subject. For you to give that impression to me, you must have been way out in left field if that was not your intent.

 

[Vanadium50]

I'm glad to see you settled down.

Now, whatever your original intent was, you did not word it properly. It gave the impression of being selfish and sexist.

Mind you, I have a very high level of tolerance for sexist remarks. I like Donald Trump. Therefore, I am not very sensitive on that subject. For you to give that impression to me, you must have been way out in left field if that was not your intent.

I don't see how the original post could come across as sexist if I didn't even talk about politics. Which by the way is analogous to the question of how it can sound like I want sex if I dind't mention sex. I guess other people think that different thoughts or concepts go together. Well not for me. In any case, can you spell out where you saw the connection between what I actually said and either politics or sex?

 

[Cali Cat]

I don't see how the original post could come across as sexist if I didn't even talk about politics. Which by the way is analogous to the question of how it can sound like I want sex if I dind't mention sex. I guess other people think that different thoughts or concepts go together. Well not for me. In any case, can you spell out where you saw the connection between what I actually said and either politics or sex?

I will lead you back to your words ...

"So I wish to put myself in order and get a girl in her 20-s -- even if its late 20-s that is also okay as long as its 20-s -- to make up for what I used to miss out on before."

That sounds like a man who is only out to fulfill his own desires. Women aren't defined by their age. What are you gonna do if a young looking 35 year old asks you out? Ask for her ID? Say, "Oh no, sorry, ma'am. I'm only seeing 20 year olds." It smacks of a sexist attitude towards women.

Like it or not, these are exactly the kind of "vibes" women pick up on.

I suggest you do as Sportster suggests. Let the Lord lead you to a mate. Don't make heroic efforts to change yourself into something you're not. Tidy yourself up a bit and work on becoming an interesting person with stories to tell the women who do approach you; and, don't limit the playing field just because you feel you "missed out" on something. Don’t live in the past. Get over it.

Most of all, take a genuine interest in women of all ages. You can learn a lot from all of them. Asking guys for advice on women is like the blind leading the blind.

 

[eonbus]

I don't want to allow women to notice anything i don't give a [deleted]. Now go [deleted] yourself.[/QUOTE
You don't scare me.