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Feeling stupid and feeling demorlised because of feeling stupid

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
So, I get a phone call to ask if I want to join in a bible study today? I said yes, because it is nice to be asked and was given a time. However, I am really bad with the quarter two part. I can read the time ( I was taught by a boyfriend lol), but for some weird reason, when it is the left side of the clock, I get so confused and will work in digital format. I felt too embarrassed to say this to the person and so, thought well it cannot be etc etc.

She tells me that she won't text me but beep her horn, but I get into a panic, because I might not hear the horn.

I go out in plenty of time and wait and it was only after I had played a whole game on my phone that I realised something was amiss. She hadn't arrived!

By this time, my heart is pounding and I take courage and phone her. She answered with such a friendly, casual way and said: will be with you soon, just leaving now? So did I get the time wrong? Well, I guess I must have, because otherwise it would make her very rude to not care that I was standing outside waiting for her.

Do you think I should fess up and explain that I have trouble reading the time? Or at least the quarter two part?

When ever I was asked randomly whilst walking, I would look and get this sinking feeling as I saw it was the left side of the clock and would just thrust my wrist for them to see.

Oh I wish I was an nt right now!
 
I use to be confused about quarter to four, half pass two, etc. It almost like the person speaking another language to me.

Do you think I should fess up and explain that I have trouble reading the time?
Don't need to tell them your having trouble reading time. Just tell them if the can explain the time in a different format.
 
Have you ever tried using a linear watch? Reorienting the visual representation of time might help with understanding the latter half of the hour. All watches are, after all, merely a physical representation of an invisible concept.
 
I have trouble telling the time with analogue clocks and I always have. I just use a digital watch and tell people I have trouble with analogue clocks. Up to you if you tell people really.
 
I use to be confused about quarter to four, half pass two, etc. It almost like the person speaking another language to me.


Don't need to tell them your having trouble reading time. Just tell them if the can explain the time in a different format.

I wish I could, but it would not go down so well and I am not the mental capicity to battle the mockery against me.
 
Time can be difficult to understand. I struggle with time myself, so I completely understand. You don't need to tell people you struggle with time if you aren't comfortable doing that.
 
I wish I could, but it would not go down so well and I am not the mental capicity to battle the mockery against me.
I know it is a hard thing for many people to face. I would hope the person would be understanding if you have a good relationship with them.
 
I know it is a hard thing for many people to face. I would hope the person would be understanding if you have a good relationship with them.

I've never had anybody mock me for having trouble telling the time, if that helps. I don't imagine that they would be worth your time if they were rude about it.
 
I read your post Suzanne, and I'm a little confused (no surprise there! I don't always interpret things correctly). I get the difficulty with analog time, but am unsure why you would be subject to mockery if you said some time concepts are a bit difficult for you. And don't assume you got the time wrong; she very well could have left late!
 
I wouldn't say any thing.

Some people will not apologise if they are being late as they then accept it as a mistake.

Could you try to visualise the time differently?

Like make some kind of mental picture that represents the time?
 
I read your post Suzanne, and I'm a little confused (no surprise there! I don't always interpret things correctly). I get the difficulty with analog time, but am unsure why you would be subject to mockery if you said some time concepts are a bit difficult for you. And don't assume you got the time wrong; she very well could have left late!

The mockery occurs, because I do not look out of the ordinary, so to speak. I look basically normal and it is only when ones get to know me, that they see the aspieness in me. So what they see and know is that I am a mature married woman and yet cannot tell the time properly? Plus, you see, it is the way I would explain it; because I feel embarrassed, it will come across in such a way that I will put myself in a noose.

As it happens, I did get the time right, because although she did not apologise to me, she was pretty vocal in how late she was leaving someone's place to come and get me.

I think I go into a panic when the quarter two part comes into play; because I have no trouble reading the clock when it is the right side. I have no idea why I have this trouble and when I was taught the time at 19 or there abouts, I did actually catch on, but it is like my brain freezes. Even at home and on my own I look at the time and when it is the quarter two part, I check and check and check because I am not quite sure that I understand.

I get into such a mental state when I have been invited out and always am there waiting for the person to pick me up. Now to anyone seeing me, they probably see a well dressed woman waiting, but in my head; oh boy and each stage that she was not there, I was getting more and more panicky. So it is a reaction when she does turn up to be honest and I have to suddenly put on that nochalant mask and pretend everything is ok. Besides this woman is very self assured; she talks of peoples issues in such a way that you just know that she just finds it interesting and nothing more.
 
I wouldn't say any thing.

Some people will not apologise if they are being late as they then accept it as a mistake.

Could you try to visualise the time differently?

Like make some kind of mental picture that represents the time?

I have chosen to not say anything, because I cannot say it in a way that would gain respect and already feel pretty demoralised with my life, so therefore, it is best to be quiet.

Yes, she saw that it was no big deal to me! But she was FULL of apologies to the people we met. I guess I do not warrant decent courtesy or something.

I can't sadly visualise the time differently, as I get brain freeze. In my "mind's eye" it is like the numbers are distorted and I cannot properly discern them and so, have to grasp at ideas.
 
I've never had anybody mock me for having trouble telling the time, if that helps. I don't imagine that they would be worth your time if they were rude about it.

Well, you see, I do get mocked, but I think it is because of the way I say it, rather than just because I say it. I feel ashamed and so, it comes across as that and well, I guess it causes people to look at me with distaste and sort of: get a life, why don't you?!
 
I know it is a hard thing for many people to face. I would hope the person would be understanding if you have a good relationship with them.

It is a relationship based on default. A bit like if one worked in an office and there is no choice but work together, but neither of you really like the other, but for the sake of good business, you are polite to each other. Not the situation with us at all, but there is no choice but to maintain some sort of relationship.

My problem is that I can be friendly with every single human being, but often they stunt that ability and I am left feeling horrible emotions that are just not part of my personality.

You invite someone to your home and make sure that you show hospitality, but they insist on making derisive comments and in the end, you find that you actually do not like this person at all, because you cannot trust what they are next going to come out with?
 
Have you ever tried using a linear watch? Reorienting the visual representation of time might help with understanding the latter half of the hour. All watches are, after all, merely a physical representation of an invisible concept.

The thing is that it is mainly when someone is on the phone and says the time, that I get stuck. There are some people I could say: would you mind saying that in digital format for me and go from there, but there are others who make me feel uncomfortable enough to not fess up and expose myself to.

I have always had a watch, but it needs looking at and so, have not worn one for some time and believe it or not, but it is clock face one and I do this with deliberation; in order to get used to saying the time; but lol doesn't quite work and plus, I like dainty watches and digital ones are very clumpy.
 
I believe that there's always a way to at least improve a situation.

I am hopeless with dates, and so I defer any and all date related desicion s until I have my google calender open. Then I can book time in and also see what day it is, and what elSe is happening.

If some one asks for a meet or even I just tell them I'll call when I have my calendar open.

Maybe you could do something similar?
 
Oh I wish I was an nt right now!

This is not autism, but dyscalculia. Emma Watson has it, and JK Rowling. I guess it's technically a neurodiversity. You can feign interest in Watson's dyscalculia and let your friend know more about the condition if you really don't want to tell her.

Were you told a quarter until 2? That would 1:45, so the little hand would be on the 9.

Big hand.
 
This is not autism, but dyscalculia. Emma Watson has it, and JK Rowling. I guess it's technically a neurodiversity. You can feign interest in Watson's dyscalculia and let your friend know more about the condition if you really don't want to tell her.

Yeah I realised I probably should have pointed out that this is the reason I have such trouble with time telling. Like I said before, I'm fine with digital, it's just analogue that's an issue.
 
It sounds like this Bible Study lady is a good hearted person. If she is, then open up to her and tell her straight out. She will find it odd for a moment, but she will help you out. And then you have someone on your side.
 

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