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Does Aspergers make YOU lazy?

Divrom

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
In a past relationship I was accused of being lazy. I think about that a lot because, well, it annoyed the hell out of me.

At the time, I had 3 jobs and never watched TV because I was busy reading/researching for those jobs. I rarely went to bed before 2am for the same reasons.

However, I can see where the other person was coming from. I could be found napping on the Sofa in the middle of the afternoon, because I'd only had 3 hours sleep the night before. And I could be so wrapped up in what I was reading that I might not have noticed the bins were overflowing.

Etc..

Can anyone relate to this? Do you feel Aspergers has made you lazy, or the opposite?

Maybe it's not laziness as much as selfishness?

Or perhaps I'm just a jerk!
 
I have been accused of it too, but I didn't have three jobs. Some of the obstacles that I have with doing stuff around the house are: I am tired all the time, often I am in pain. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with stuff, sometimes there are too many decisions involved that it takes me a long time to do a task others think is simple, sometimes I see something on floor but it doesn't seem to register that I need to pick it up (not sure why really trying to be more aware of that one), it doesn't seem logical to me (making the bed when i am just gonna mess it up anyway, folding clothes).
 
I usually try to keep up on housework, but sometimes I just feel like laying down and doing nothing. After working a 40-hour week, I do allow myself to do that at times. I need time to recoup!
 
Hold onto your hat Divrom, I am going to give you the only honest answer this thread will see...

Hell yes Aspergers makes me lazy! Let me explain: I say this in the personal sense but am really talking about Aspergical persons everywhere ; ]

Aspergers is a social interaction issue with other complaints thrown in, like sensory sensitivities, therefore if I think something is going to push me out of my carefully constructed safety bubble I will not do it, somebody says you want to go down the shops and I say no, because that means dealing with people, pets, cashiers, fleuro’s, money, traffic ETC.
But occasionally, if somebody says you want to go down the shops and I desperately need to, in fact I have previously worked myself up to the point where I feel I can go and possibly would have, well now I just say that I am feeling (insert something with Aspie connotations here) and whoever suggested the trip, as they are going anyway, will get whatever I needed for me.

Now, more seriously, yes Aspergers makes Aspies lazy in the sense that any Aspergical person will almost always not do things with relation to the diagnosis, people will say something like; "oh you cant do such and such because your mental, what utter cock", but they are ill informed of how debilitating the situation can actually be for us, so generally you will limit the instances where you have to make decisions where being an Aspie is a factor, this can lead to only assuming that something is going to be the way your Aspergical mind figures it is and you then start to dodge things simply on principle. This of course essentially makes the person that thinks you full of it, right. You’ve become lazy through fear.

Of course there are those times when you could, should or would have done or said something and used Aspergers as an excuse, I defy anybody to not be able to find one instance where that isn’t the case, most people will not use it as an excuse if they can help it but sometimes it is the easier course I admit, even if its just letting somebody think wrongly because explaining it is too hard so you turn to the old standby; "I’m an Aspie, what did you expect?"
 
I like to think of it as 'avoidance' rather than lazy..........if I am overwhelmed by life's burdens, then I don't always do everything others think I should be doing. I nap a lot in order to recoup from whatever stress I'm going thru at the moment. Work really stresses me out. I work in retail, which is probably the worst place for an Aspie to work, but the cats have to eat! So I work, I come home and I colapse on the sofa (with a cat), then I get up and do whatever really really has to be done. When I feel good, then I try to get as much done as possible to make up for avoiding stuff at other times.
I think Aspies just get so overwhelmed so often that we have to take a lot of "time outs" just to keep going. Am I making any sense??!!!
 
Dang straight, it makes me lazy. Something had to do it.

That said, it makes me more efficient, too, and the company I work for really appreciates it. :)
 
I have been accused of it too, but I didn't have three jobs. Some of the obstacles that I have with doing stuff around the house are: I am tired all the time, often I am in pain. Sometimes I just don't know what to do with stuff, sometimes there are too many decisions involved that it takes me a long time to do a task others think is simple, sometimes I see something on floor but it doesn't seem to register that I need to pick it up (not sure why really trying to be more aware of that one), it doesn't seem logical to me (making the bed when i am just gonna mess it up anyway, folding clothes).

I like this one, especially the last example. I have read that aspies can either be hyper clean or hypo clean ... and its an aspie thing not a lazy thing. I personally tend to over look house work as I find house work a waste of time ie I can still use my computer as long as I can get to my keyboard so why should I have to tidy my pile of junk beside it for my computer to work etc. As long as said house work isn't in the way or something pointless (like making the bed ... its just going to look that way when I wake up tomorrow) then I can over look it. It bothers me because I don't see housework like other people do ... especially since I'm supposed to be a housewife at present in my life. My husband has said things like "I'm going to hire a cleaner" or "I'm going to quit work so I can tidy the house" about my cleaning. I found this hurtful because my trying to keep the house clean didn't seem good enough. I explained this to him and he has backed off. Which is good.

With the hypo clean people ... the ones that seem to not do the house work ... I have read that its that they don't see it and that can be an issue for NTs. They think that we see it like they do. We do but its not important so it gets over looked I guess is the way that it works. That's what goes on in my mind anyway. And like pella ... I too am tired all the time (I sometimes wonder how I get out of bed) and to be functional every minute of every day is a challenge in itself.

@divrom Working three jobs ... and your partner is still complaining? I would say your partner is the one with a wire loose. how can someone claim you are lazy when your working at the expense of sleep or other things in your life? I certainly wouldn't call that lazy. I could understand why you overlooked house work as your probably too tired to do any!!
 
@divrom Working three jobs ... and your partner is still complaining? I would say your partner is the one with a wire loose. how can someone claim you are lazy when your working at the expense of sleep or other things in your life? I certainly wouldn't call that lazy. I could understand why you overlooked house work as your probably too tired to do any!!

Ex-partner. And Aspergers played a big part in that.

The way I see it, she had a very good point. With three kids and a house to look after, there is stiff that needs to be done regardless of whether I notice it, care about it or understand it.

But then I don't know how anyone can understand what it feels like to have a brain that's always on turbo, unless they experience. All other aspects of Aspergers aside, the sleep deprivation makes normal life practically impossible.
 
Yes and no. We are lazy in terms of setting goals and achieving them, because we live in the moment. But we don't mind work. For example, I work out daily. but not really with any goal in mind. When I look in the mirror, it's a pleasant surprise.
 
I think I am lazy, and I know that I am tired all the time. I try to do as much as possible in the morning when I have energy. By 4pm I am wiped. I clean very little and clutter doesn't bother me, but it bothers my husband. So I do my best. I never dust though or iron clothes. I absolutely refuse to do those two things. A complete waste of time in my opinion. I cook, do laundry, and keep the house at a suitable level of cleanliness. But I also work part time and take care of my daughter. So the way I look at it is one of priorities. Number one priority is my daughter and husband, number two is my own health and sanity, number three is my editing, writing, and graphic design. And then everything else and everyone else. Sometimes housework just has to fall away.
 
Generally I've been the opposite of lazy - I would be the one doing everything. But I have my moments. Like lately. First, I can't stand walking around my house. My carpets are in VERY BAD need of steam cleaning thanks to two toddlers emptying a bottle of ketchup on the floor, and spilling drinks, etc. I mean it's so bad that your feet are black by the end of day. I have tried to keep it as clean as possible but we can't afford a steam cleaner right now so I've had to "just deal". And it's very hard for me to do that. It's like a cheese grater on my skin when my feet stick to the floor, or when things stick to them. So that makes it hard to motivate myself to get up and do stuff which ends up compounding the problem. Also I have fallen off my routine due to my husband swapping jobs to one with unpredictable job hours. I try to get things done when he's at work but I'm not on a scheduel so it's tough. Plus I'm dealing with a "social" situation doing a freelance job and that is stressful plus it takes time to do the job itself. And then there's my 6 month old who seems to have a come apart if I'm not holding him all the time. So whether or not I am lazy I feel lazy and have apologized to my husband several times for being lazy. He says I'm not but I do feel it.
 
Reading through all contributions of this thread, I'm still wondering... what defines lazy? Is lazy wanting to nap a bit? Excusing yourself from daily chores? "blaming" Asperger's for not acting the "NT-way" (since that requires effort for us)?

If anything it's not that Asperger's makes me lazy, but probably that depression makes me filled with apathy. My mind will not think straight, and as such it's rather useless to do anything. Is putting it on hold lazy? In my experience I noticed that if I'm not focussed on it, I spend more time cleaning the mess I made by doing said task, than I'm spending on doing the task in the first place.

People something think I'm lazy, but I'm not a hands-on type of person in certain ways. Looking at personal projects for example; doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results never gave me anything. I'm more of an observer and thinker, and this might mean that I will not touch my instruments for 4 months... until that one day, where I'm going at it for 48 hours straight and finish something in one go. That makes me look lazy to some, because I'm not actively doing something. I'm zoning out, thinking... and to some it might look like I'm waiting for someone to hand me that one special thing I need.

Lazy as in lying on the couch... I hate sleeping, I'm always bummed out when I have to go to bed. I always see it as my body apparently lost the argument with my mind. I don't have my regular days most of the time, my days can last up to 48 hours easily... and similarly, I can easily manage on 3 hours of sleep on any day. That drove my ex-girlfriend totally mental. "I'm tired, let's sleep", she said at 5 in the morning after a day of work. That's where I start turning into a maniac going "SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK! MUAHAHAHA!"... I'm probably short of a few of them fancy red demonic eyes, and a really low pitched voice (oh, let's add in a pitchfork as well).

If lazy means, doing chores in the house. That's probably why I wouldn't even think about living together with someone. I do those chores on my terms. And those terms might be vaccuuming at 4 in the morning. I'm probably way to antisocial to even consider that other people aren't ok with it. To me it's, if someone is living with me, either getting **** done (when I want, on my terms), or dealing with the fact that I will not do **** (and they can do it themselves). Perhaps I should mention, that despite that I'm living at my parents house still, my dad is similar like me. He'll move furniture around 3 at night (just for the heck of it), and doesn't hesitate to ask me in the middle of the night. Maybe that kind of behaviour is part of me because of how I was brought up.

The one thing that makes me "lazy" is if I have to drag myself across on the pace of others. That's like putting the brakes to me... and at some point I feel that I come to full stop. If I'm going, do not stop me. The best one can describe it would probably be Juggernaut from X-men... if he ever gets momentum, he's unstoppable.
 
I do work in fits and starts. Chronic insomniac as well, so I do sometimes work at 4 in the morning on quiet things like writing. I guess I feel lazy when I don't do the housework duties expected of me by my husband. I honestly hate cleaning and cooking, and would probably live a cluttered house with a lot of take-out if I could, but having a family requires me to do more to ensure their comfort.
 
I hate sleeping, I'm always bummed out when I have to go to bed. I always see it as my body apparently lost the argument with my mind. I don't have my regular days most of the time, my days can last up to 48 hours easily... and similarly, I can easily manage on 3 hours of sleep on any day. That drove my ex-girlfriend totally mental. "I'm tired, let's sleep", she said at 5 in the morning after a day of work. That's where I start turning into a maniac going "SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK! MUAHAHAHA!"... I'm probably short of a few of them fancy red demonic eyes, and a really low pitched voice (oh, let's add in a pitchfork as well).

I can so relate to that. I don't think it's a particularly healthy mindset, as it leads me to eventual exhaustion and illness, but I always kinda resent sleep.

If lazy means, doing chores in the house. That's probably why I wouldn't even think about living together with someone. I do those chores on my terms. And those terms might be vaccuuming at 4 in the morning. I'm probably way to antisocial to even consider that other people aren't ok with it. To me it's, if someone is living with me, either getting **** done (when I want, on my terms), or dealing with the fact that I will not do **** (and they can do it themselves). Perhaps I should mention, that despite that I'm living at my parents house still, my dad is similar like me. He'll move furniture around 3 at night (just for the heck of it), and doesn't hesitate to ask me in the middle of the night. Maybe that kind of behaviour is part of me because of how I was brought up.
And that's why I think that since my marriage collapsed, I'm gonna stay single. I'm too much hard work for me, let alone others!
 
And that's why I think that since my marriage collapsed, I'm gonna stay single. I'm too much hard work for me, let alone others!

That's the kind of knowledge some people clearly lack. And this is nothing that's exclusive to just aspies, but people in general.
 
Like others have said, I'm super tired all the time, so I guess in some aspect, it looks like I'm lazy. I tend to blame it more on the psychiatric medication I'm on rather than on Asperger's.
 
I don't think we are lazy in terms of what the definition of lazy is. I think we just find it harder to be the NT version of non lazy. If we don't consider it relevant then its likely to not get done. I don't think that's lazy. I just think that's a different way of thinking.

I'm kind of interested a bit in how a lot of people have described being super exhausted all the time. I have always suffered from chronic fatigue. It's interesting to me that I'm not the only aspie here to describe this.
 
I don't think we are lazy in terms of what the definition of lazy is. I think we just find it harder to be the NT version of non lazy. If we don't consider it relevant then its likely to not get done. I don't think that's lazy. I just think that's a different way of thinking.

I agree completely with this! Things have to matter, otherwise they just don't appear on the radar. A lot of stress has happened to me in the past over conflicts between me and NT views on whats important. I have wondered if I'm lazy, but it doesn't ring true when I think of the work I put in to whats important to me.
 
In a past relationship I was accused of being lazy. I think about that a lot because, well, it annoyed the hell out of me.

At the time, I had 3 jobs and never watched TV because I was busy reading/researching for those jobs. I rarely went to bed before 2am for the same reasons.

However, I can see where the other person was coming from. I could be found napping on the Sofa in the middle of the afternoon, because I'd only had 3 hours sleep the night before. And I could be so wrapped up in what I was reading that I might not have noticed the bins were overflowing.

Etc..

Can anyone relate to this? Do you feel Aspergers has made you lazy, or the opposite?

Maybe it's not laziness as much as selfishness?

Or perhaps I'm just a jerk!

Or, you could be facing the physiological side of clinical depression.
I've been taking medicine for that for almost 15 years now. Having
said that, I wonder if your mood is staying inside the ballpark of
"normality."
 

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