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Featured Does anyone else enjoy an argument for the mental exercise or is it just me?

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by Connor Malone, Feb 12, 2017.

  1. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    So basically I have HFA. I'm very good at hiding it. Like insanely good. No one would ever guess. But I've noticed that I really enjoy conflict, especially winning arguments. Now I say arguments but what I really mean is how other people tend to get into a verbal "roasting match" with each other. I've heard that most aspies tend to be less aggressive but for me it couldn't be more further from the truth. I'm not physically aggressive although I can if I want to be. I just tend to be good at finding people's mental weak points and exploiting them in an argument just to watch them crumple and retreat into themselves and it feels wonderful. However I only really do this when someone has rubbed me up the wrong way I don't go out of my way just to find the easiest target. In fact the stronger the better. Thoughts?
     
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  2. Nitro

    Nitro Immoral Turpitude Staff Member Admin V.I.P Member

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    That might not fly well here ;)

    We encourage debates here,but also do not let them spiral out of control to the point of being arguments.
    This might be a good time to review our fairly relaxed rules so you can help us keep the peace for all who are members.
    General Rules & Guidelines
     
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  3. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    Yeah I know. Wasn't my intention to do it here to anyone just to discuss the topic. Don't worry I wont be starting fights anytime soon haha
     
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  4. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Let's just say that since I've discovered being on the spectrum, it's a trait I've worked to suppress and not indulge. I'm a "work in progress".

    IMO it's not any kind of virtue.
     
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  5. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    Can I ask why? Like I understand suppressing it for the regular person who you just want to have a chat with but if there's a guy who's being a bit of a dick don't you want to give him a taste of his own medicine. Or at least show him that trying it out on you wont be easy? Again just wondering. Also how did you get the aspie score thing. I know I have HFA but I'm curious to see how much progress I've made since my diagnosis
     
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  6. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    IMO in essence, two wrongs don't make a right.

    We have a number of threads about various tests. I just see them as benchmarks worthy to investigate one's possible autism further. Not to be intended as an exclusive diagnostic tool.

    The Baron-Cohen Autism Quotient Score: The AQ-test; The Autism Spectrum Quotient

    The Ritvo Autism Asperger's Diagnostic Scale: The Ritvo Autism Asperger Diagnostic Scale-Revised (RAADS-R)

    Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Scale: Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale
     
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  7. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    I'm fairly good at spotting people's weak points and could exploit this to be vicious and hurtful, but I choose not to. I've learned since I was quite young that I can easily get the upper hand in discussions by using low blows, but that doesn't sit well with me. I don't like being hurtful. I like winning discussions, but I like to win because my arguments are better. I do verbal sparring matches with friends quite a lot, but in that case it's okay to make fun of each other, as long as it's funny, not mean.
    Sometimes, when people are goading me, I sit and ponder all the devastating remarks I could make, but I just choose to smile and disengage because in the end it makes me feel better about myself.

    I do understand what you mean though :)
     
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  8. Crossbreed

    Crossbreed Missionary Cybernaut

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    IRL, if someone is persistently antagonistic to me, I usually adjust my responses so (if it is intentional) they will be "hoisted by their own petards." It is (sort of) a verbal aikido.

    There have been so many times that my first impression was incorrect. My approach doesn't adversely affect a misunderstood innocent party.
     
    Last edited: Feb 13, 2017
  9. Southern Discomfort

    Southern Discomfort Rambunctious Rambler V.I.P Member

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    Somewhat. Confrontation of others is something I can find really upsetting and uncomfortable. I can't watch programmes where people are deliberately doing confrontational things any more. I don't know why. On the flip side I can argue my side of an argument no problem and I also argue quite often with bigots on the internet. This isn't healthy for me though because I have a mindset of constantly thinking of how to retort to imaginary directions a discussion can go in. It stresses me out so I need to stop doing it. Sort of thinking about looking for an add-on for my browser to remove comment sections because those types of morons make me really angry - and arguing with them ain't going to do a damn thing!
     
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  10. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    [​IMG]
     
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  11. Fridgemagnetman

    Fridgemagnetman Active Member

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    For me it's some times just heated discussion and I fall into representing an idea or one side.
    Not my personal opinion (you don't always need one but a lot of people think you do)
    Then it can become an emotional thing which I miss until it's too late..

    I used to think that you could argue or debate to 'win' but the arguments always stay the same. Especially on the media... oh here's that debate again (name your subject) everybody making the same point to again..

    A sidebar would be that the Internet has expanded the power of ignorance. Enabling g 'like to meet lkke' and therefore feelings more justified in their position...
    I digress...
     
  12. ksheehan88

    ksheehan88 :)

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    No, I find arguments and confrontation very stressful, even when it begins as a friendly debate.

    I find it difficult to articulate my thoughts, especially when I need to think quickly to get a point made, then I get muddled and angry and upset.
     
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  13. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    I used to get like that but I trained myself to get better at it. Well my NT friends did. We went to a rough school and they, along with my parents gave me the skill set to have a mostly normal life
     
  14. xDominiel

    xDominiel Well-Known Member

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    That's how dicks multiply.
     
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  15. ksheehan88

    ksheehan88 :)

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    Maybe if I'd had more friends I'd have learnt.

    With my parents there was no such thing as "argument"... You backchat, you get a backhand
     
  16. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully you wont need to learn but if you want to we're here to help
     
  17. Mia

    Mia Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Used to be like that, argumentative that is, not only did I win almost every debate in my critical thinking classes. I often argued endlessly with friends, my spouse, family, people at yahoo and other places.
    With people I can be almost deadly, eviscerating them verbally and psychologically. I stopped doing that eventually, it's often a function of the need to prove yourself. And I feel little need to do that anymore.
     
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  18. paloftoon

    paloftoon Well-Known Member

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    Omg, my mom is still like this. Instead of backhands, she yells like there is no tomorrow. It gets so bad for so many petty things that I have to start walking away and refusing to continue the task at hand until she stops her temper tantrums.

    When I was younger, she forced me to play the trumpet even for 1.5 months after being forced to wear shoes 1.5 sizes to small for me from the band director and color guard director. I didn't walk away from the entire situation and call the police because it was a small town and I was afraid that my parents' livelihood would be affected.
    God damn control freaks.
     
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  19. jonathan

    jonathan in the system V.I.P Member

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    Only as a last resort. That's definitely something I don't do on a regular basis and I think the majority of idiots on and off the net who do it frequently out of insecurity or immaturity, etc. have too much time on their hands that could be better spent doing something more constructive. Harmless banter is one thing, but unless verbal sparring is a competitive sport with cash prizes, count me out.

    Really, I prefer not to stoop down to that point and just ignore them, but if someone's being unusually and persistently obnoxious or a complete douche for no reason, I've no problem or hesitation at all barking back.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2017
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  20. Connor Malone

    Connor Malone Active Member

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    Yeah I see what all of you mean. Also just to clarify. This stuff is mostly face to face haha
     
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