Do you care how others perceive you?

[OkRad]

Only if I have to interact with them. I actually prefer for most people to dislike me rather than like me because then they're more likely to leave me alone.

this is intersting. I think I am getting there, too. If I offend anyone, though I am beside mself with regret.

 

[AspieOfficer86]

I've been married three times, and each time the person has not understood, gotten their feelings hurt, told me I had to change, I told them I couldn't, and they left. I'm done. Unless someone super freaking patient comes along, alone I shall remain.

 

[Full Steam]

this is intersting. I think I am getting there, too. If I offend anyone, though I am beside mself with regret.

I feel like I've navigated my life by an offend/regret cycle

I've been married three times, and each time the person has not understood, gotten their feelings hurt, told me I had to change, I told them I couldn't, and they left. I'm done. Unless someone super freaking patient comes along, alone I shall remain.

I thought that once too, but shortly after met my wife.

"Happiness often walks in though a door we didn't realise we left open"

 

[Yucca]

All you guys write here is very interesting and helpful. I like it that you go of distance to neurotypicals, maybe call people without Aspergers Syndrome only 'them', ...
But we have to be careful! Some of 'them' are really GREAT in many ways! We should always keep that in mind.

 

[Reedstorm17]

Yes, many neurotypicals are great people. But how often do people focus on good things?

 

[Aspiegirl75]

I do care. I hate that I care but I would hate if I did not. I am always screwed. The best thing I can do is to NEVER EVER EVER let anyone in. I made the mistake this year. Let in one person and it's hard know because the got to know me and treat me odd now. No more. ever,

That makes me sad! The mistake is trusting blindly too early. Letting the wrong people in is what sours us on the whole idea. But there are people out there who are worth it, and you WILL find them!

 

[fuðflogi]

Only if I have to interact with them. I actually prefer for most people to dislike me rather than like me because then they're more likely to leave me alone.

then you don't attract sadist A holes that chose to mess with you because they don't like you?

 

[fuðflogi]

I try not to think about what others think of me, but it rarely works. I'm always conscious of what others think of me, to the point where I can't leave the house. Although saying that some days are better than others. If I'm having a bad day I'm so self conscious I can't do anything.

and do you ever feel like some mean people take notice and do things to hurt in some way?

 

[umbrellabeach]

then you don't attract sadist A holes that chose to mess with you because they don't like you?

I attract sadistic a-holes that want my attention and want to tease and harass me because my physical appearance pleases them and they see me as an easy target. I've never had anyone go after me because they didn't like me; it's always because they do, or they think they do.

 

[fuðflogi]

I attract sadistic a-holes that want my attention and want to tease and harass me because my physical appearance pleases them and they see me as an easy target. I've never had anyone go after me because they didn't like me; it's always because they do, or they think they do.

i have been teased all my life so i just assume the worst case scenario with people, unless they prove themselves to have integrity right off the bat. as of late, to avoid the topic all together the only people besides my partner i talk to are you all, here on this site. if you want to call it talking i guess.

 

[zeroninja]

I do unless I actively make the effort to not care with regards to that particular person. I've gotten over the worst of it though, like actively trying to win anyone's approval or redeem myself from disapproval. The main thing that helps is the same thing that helps me in competitive environments in general: think of it like a race but you are only running against yourself, your previous best time. That said, I still have severe troubles with it constantly. I am thinking of trying out going mute for six months or more as mentioned in another thread since it has been on my mind for a long while now.

 

[Full Steam]

Yep, I have this; https://www.additudemag.com/rejection-sensitive-dysphoria-how-to-treat-it-alongside-adhd/

 

[hutchie]

It's hard not to care when, what others think can impact your life.

 

[Gracey]

I don't see how I could possibly know what others thought of me unless I asked them which is something I probably wouldn't do.

I'm not a mind reader either.

I can't remember a time I've ever been curious enough to investigate or find out.

Should someone feel it necessary to highlight one of my many flaws I had always thought it said more about them than me.

Most of the time I may be too busy in my own head to notice.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

I don't see how I could possibly know what others thought of me unless I asked them which is something I probably wouldn't do.

I'm not a mind reader either.

I can't remember a time I've ever been curious enough to investigate or find out.

Should someone feel it necessary to highlight one of my many flaws I had always thought it said more about them than me.

Most of the time I may be too busy in my own head to notice.

A good mantra is :

What other people think of you is none of your business.

I have now torn up the list of your flaws I was compiling as it says too much about me

 

[Gracey]

A good mantra is :

What other people think of you is none of your business.

I have now torn up the list of your flaws I was compiling as it says too much about me

I hope they're committed to memory, should the day ever arrive when I might ask "Mr Fridge my good sir, what are my many flaws please?"

I shall expect some original answers. (Not the ones I already know about)

 

[Sherlock77]

I've never really cared all that much what other people think of me, choices I make in physical appearance (hair style, beard, even what I wear) make me stand out from the crowd and I really don't care, never have... I do think I freak some people out on occasion based on my appearance... But I live my life and do my "thing", I tend to find some degree of acceptance in most areas of my life, and being part of the artistic world a little, lots of artists don't find the mold anyway...