Delusions and Aspergers

[Clintos]

Does anyone have delusions and aspergers and what are they?

Do you find that maybe your delusions might not be 100% false and that there is a slight possibility that they may turn out to be true. Maybe not today, but later in the future?

 

[hiraeth]

I dunno, how does one define a delusion?

 

[Clintos]

belief or impression that is firmly maintained despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality

My psychiatrist says I have delusions and intrusive thoughts, so I am learning myself.
I have delusions about a lot of things mainly, school, work and the end of the world.

 

[Suzanne]

I have been told many a time, that I am imagining something, because as far as others are concerned, they have not seen it and so, it must be in my head.

Mostly related to how other females treat me. I have a deep sense of awareness around me and so, I catch a look that others do not catch. I know this seems contradictory, since it is hard to read emotions ( much better than I used to be), but I guess it is obvious looks ( even if not by others). And the look or sound of voice is always sickly sweet and I know that that woman has it in for me, but mostly I am told it is in my imagination and the few times I have asked the female, it makes it worse for me, because they deny and laugh at me and just carry on!

I find being hyperaware to be very uncomfortable, because I am unable to relax and just go with the flow.

 

[LyricalMuse]

I have been told many a time, that I am imagining something, because as far as others are concerned, they have not seen it and so, it must be in my head.

Mostly related to how other females treat me.

I can relate with you on this. Due to being abused in some fashion (sexually, physically, verbally, mentally) until I was twenty-nine, I have become acutely aware of behaviors others exhibit, vocal tones, word usage... anything that would give off warning signs. My husband didn't trust my judgments during the first few years of our marriage but, after my observations proved accurate time and again, he never questions me now. If I tell him that I don't like a person, he knows to avoid them even when I haven't been around the person long enough to pin-point the reason.

Women are the absolute worst. I currently don't have any close female friends because interacting with women became a real source of tension and I have enough going on in my life that sets off my anxiety.

 

[Suzanne]

I can relate with you on this. Due to being abused in some fashion (sexually, physically, verbally, mentally) until I was twenty-nine, I have become acutely aware of behaviors others exhibit, vocal tones, word usage... anything that would give off warning signs. My husband didn't trust my judgments during the first few years of our marriage but, after my observations proved accurate time and again, he never questions me now. If I tell him that I don't like a person, he knows to avoid them even when I haven't been around the person long enough to pin-point the reason.

Women are the absolute worst. I currently don't have any close female friends because interacting with women became a real source of tension and I have enough going on in my life that sets off my anxiety.

Unfortunately, I have never had "disclosure" to prove I have been right. But the lastest episode, even my husband has noticed and is being a bit more supportive than usual.

Perhaps being abused also causes us to be hyperaware, as I too, was molested by a peodophile father from 7 to 15.

Oh yes, isn't it just bizarre that our own sex can be mentally exhausting? I feel very uneasy around females.

But recently, I was told that I am very attractive ( by a female, who happens to be actually really nice) and that I give off an air of confidence and that I can probably put my own sex off! I find that so hard to believe, personally, but there you go.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I may have. I had one where I thought I was under surveillance by GCHQ. I'm being treated for psychosis. I don't know if this was a true delusion or if I'm just naturally a bit paranoid because I think of weird stuff all the time and don't really believe it. According to my social worker, psychosis is at a higher level in people with Asperger's, but at the same time I'm not entirely sure if I believe that; there are quite a lot of doctors who will tell you that when people with autism are telling you 'things' they tend to sound a little bit psychotic anyway.

 

[xDominiel]

I did have beliefs that could very well be considered delusional at my lowest point, but I don't feel like I was "psychotic". I had an awful chaotic upbringing, after which I was so broken and lost that I desperately wanted to believe that there was more to things. So I chose to do so. I realized later how unhealthy it had become and so I stopped attaching those deeper meanings to random things and started thinking rationally again.

I'm aware that he was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia, but this quote by John Nash always felt appropriate:

"I believe madness can be an escape. If things are not so good, you maybe want to imagine something better."

 

[OkRad]

I am not sure. If it's a delusion, I don't know it. I don't think so. I analyze things pretty deeply. I am off the mark a lot, thinking people like me or dislike me when it's not true. But mostly that has to do with the fact that I feel SO deeply and others just dont so I get it wrong all the time.

But delusions? I don't think so.

 

[biblophile]

I have delusions of persecution. I am very suspicious of strangers, especially if they are overly friendly. I do not know if this is my Asperger's or a result of my abusive childhood, could be both.

 

[toothless]

although my autism label is different to yours,i do have psychosis im not sure of what label it is,theyve never diagnosed anything but i scored very high on the schizophrenic PANSS test [carried out by a pyschologist].
my delusions were about thinking support staff,my family,anyone! were disguised as normal people and were planning on killing me,so i used to attack them and i even went as far as trying to make a DIY bomb in the residential home i lived in but they turned the fire alarm on so i collapsed into a sensory overload oblivion and was unable to carry it out.
another other delusion was i thought people on the tv were speaking directly to me and that i could communicate to them through my thoughts.
another delusion i had was i thought the walls were covered in spy cameras,recording me,i thought they were in the light fittings to so i covered everything i thought was a camera.
another delusion-i saw fire on the ceilings of buildings, i would cower under tables and shake and bang my head as i was so afraid.
and i dont know if its classed as a delusion but i saw a scottish guy called james and he used to make me do bad things as he threatened to hurt my pets,he was a very nasty person.

having been on anti pyschotics for years,they simply changed me to haloperidol and upped it to 10mg which helped remove the pyschosis stuff mostly,i dont see 'james' anymore but i do hear voices being very nasty about me.
i still ocasionally get tactile halucinations where it feels like i have insects all running around under the skin of my limbs,i am still paranoid of humans i dont know but i can also relate that to the cyber bullying i had suffered [which partly led to my illness].

 

[Clintos]

I use to perceive that the Police, Taxi Cabs, Bikers. Russians, Germans, Muslims, CSIS, and my Psychiatrist were out to get me. And that everything I say would get out to these people and effect me in a negative way. Since being on 20mg of Abilify I do not notice it too much anymore.

 

[toothless]

I use to perceive that the Police, Taxi Cabs, Bikers. Russians, Germans, Muslims, CSIS, and my Psychiatrist were out to get me. And that everything I say would get out to these people and effect me in a negative way. Since being on 20mg of Abilify I do not notice it too much anymore.

i can relate,your definately not alone its a common thing among us, its the scariest feeling in the world to live in constant fear of yourself and others.

 

[Katherine Rawstron]

Phew! I was beginning to doubt my self-diagnosis as we're not supposed to be able to read signals, expression, etc. Admittedly, some of my skills have been learnt due to my previous career with people with learning disabilities; but I do sometimes discern things in people that nobody else notices, and if I mention them, the others just shrug it off. I, too, have been put in the wrong and told I was imagining something, or I was twisted, only to be proved right later on.

I've also done the opposite, told myself I was imagining something and not to take things personally, for example, only to be told off or proved right over the very thing I was trying to disprove! It doesn't happen now, mainly becaue I'm out of the workplace, but there have been times when I thought I just couldn't win and would never get it right!

I am surprisingly good at picking up signals, possibly because I'm focussed on the immediate, so not distracted by conversation, and notice things more; and I've learnt to trust my instincts and, if in doubt, to act on them until/unless proved wrong.

 

[Suzanne]

although my autism label is different to yours,i do have psychosis im not sure of what label it is,theyve never diagnosed anything but i scored very high on the schizophrenic PANSS test [carried out by a pyschologist].
my delusions were about thinking support staff,my family,anyone! were disguised as normal people and were planning on killing me,so i used to attack them and i even went as far as trying to make a DIY bomb in the residential home i lived in but they turned the fire alarm on so i collapsed into a sensory overload oblivion and was unable to carry it out.
another other delusion was i thought people on the tv were speaking directly to me and that i could communicate to them through my thoughts.
another delusion i had was i thought the walls were covered in spy cameras,recording me,i thought they were in the light fittings to so i covered everything i thought was a camera.
another delusion-i saw fire on the ceilings of buildings, i would cower under tables and shake and bang my head as i was so afraid.
and i dont know if its classed as a delusion but i saw a scottish guy called james and he used to make me do bad things as he threatened to hurt my pets,he was a very nasty person.

having been on anti pyschotics for years,they simply changed me to haloperidol and upped it to 10mg which helped remove the pyschosis stuff mostly,i dont see 'james' anymore but i do hear voices being very nasty about me.
i still ocasionally get tactile halucinations where it feels like i have insects all running around under the skin of my limbs,i am still paranoid of humans i dont know but i can also relate that to the cyber bullying i had suffered [which partly led to my illness].

You have just proved that psychiatrists and psychologists tend to throw the word: delusions around somewhat!

 

[Suzanne]

Phew! I was beginning to doubt my self-diagnosis as we're not supposed to be able to read signals, expression, etc. Admittedly, some of my skills have been learnt due to my previous career with people with learning disabilities; but I do sometimes discern things in people that nobody else notices, and if I mention them, the others just shrug it off. I, too, have been put in the wrong and told I was imagining something, or I was twisted, only to be proved right later on.

I've also done the opposite, told myself I was imagining something and not to take things personally, for example, only to be told off or proved right over the very thing I was trying to disprove! It doesn't happen now, mainly becaue I'm out of the worplace, but there have been times when I thought I just couldn't win and would never get it right!

I am surprisingly good at picking up signals, possibly because I'm focussed on the immediate, so not distracted by conversation, and notice things more; and I've learnt to trust my instincts and, if in doubt, to act on them until/unless proved wrong.

Me too! I thought at best, I must be on the very edge of aspergers, since I can read emotions etc, but like you: learned them, because I remember as a child and teen, I could not read emotions!

But the more one gets to understand aspergers, the more one understands.

 

[toothless]

You have just proved that psychiatrists and psychologists tend to throw the word: delusions around somewhat!

i completely agree,they also relie on calling anything psychotic; schizophrenia but not everything is as we know.im actually glad that my pyschiatrist is shite and has only written things like 'emma has halucinations' on my file.
my old gp told me the pyschosis became an illness because i was neglected for years with severe depression and it triggered the pyschosis,i read into it and she was right it does happen so im going with her despite the diagnosis being no where to be found on my records,i have had a bit of a nosy.

 

[Clintos]

For me, I feel that major depression, fear of the outdoors and fear of people caused me to isolate myself, which in turn caused me to go psychotic, because of not being around people and engaging in regular conversations.

I would go onto websites talking about wars, politics and death and in turn this made me think that the real world must be like this.

Now I simply go out a little more and stay off those website and work on reading up about my disorders.

 

[xDominiel]

I would go onto websites talking about wars, politics and death

I did the same. Seeing other people go from being good, moderate people to become more and more extremist and far off the deep end really put me off that though. Never again.

 

[Clintos]

I did the same. Seeing other people go from being good, moderate people to become more and more extremist and far off the deep end really put me off that though. Never again.

Yeah, some people can really be extremists, or slowly talk themselves into being an extremist by staying on those sites and feeding off one another.