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Dating for Aspies

Ian Windsor

Ian Windsor

New Member
I've been wondering.I have had two long term relationships but ultimately my condition caused problems in both.I have worked hard at improving the areas of the condition that I can which have caused problems in these relationships.Then I had an inspiration - only an Aspie would know how an Aspies mind works.That being the case does anyone know of or used a dating site forAspies?
 
It's a thought, if you think it can really work for you. Having come to the conclusion that I am on the spectrum, I have since surmised that I wouldn't be interested in pursuing another relationship with an NT.

I made friends rather than date anyone. In some rare cases those friendships blossomed into something more. The social convention of dating itself was always an extreme social obstacle for me. I'm not sure dating a known person on the spectrum would be any less stressful for me than with all the NT women I had relationships with.

However the likelihood of any relationship seems remote with my circumstances. I actually gave up the notion long ago when I was in my 40s.

Best of luck whatever you decide.
 
Judge said:
It's a thought, if you think it can really work for you. Having come to the conclusion that I am on the spectrum, I have since surmised that I wouldn't be interested in pursuing another relationship with an NT.

I made friends rather than date anyone. In some rare cases those friendships blossomed into something more. The social convention of dating itself was always an extreme social obstacle for me. I'm not sure dating a known person on the spectrum would be any less stressful for me than with all the NT women I had relationships with.

However the likelihood of any relationship seems remote with my circumstances. I actually gave up the notion long ago when I was in my 40s.

Best of luck whatever you decide.
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Thankyou I'm sorry nothing's worked out for you.Part of my Aspies is that I cannot live on my own due to the fact that I get all my drive in life from being a provider and having someone to provide for.I know we are all different Thankyou for your kind reply.
 
Ian Windsor said:
Thankyou I'm sorry nothing's worked out for you.Part of my Aspies is that I cannot live on my own due to the fact that I get all my drive in life from being a provider and having someone to provide for.I know we are all different Thankyou for your kind reply.
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Oh, I get that. First being a caregiver to my elderly mother. Then when she passed away, I felt the need to secure my brother's half of his inheritance as the trustee of my mother's estate. Which turned into full time jobs for a long time.

Since then I've felt a bit "lost" with no mission to help my family. Nothing to "drive" me any more.
 
Judge said:
Oh, I get that. First being a caregiver to my elderly mother. Then when she passed away, I felt the need to secure my brother's half of his inheritance as the trustee of my mother's estate. Which turned into full time jobs for a long time.

Since then I've felt a bit "lost" with no mission to help my family. Nothing to "drive" me any more.
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You have done a very good job you should be pleased with yourself.I have decided that now I have self diagnosed I would like to do some charity work in my locality ( dog rescue centre or foodbank).I need to build up my social skills and mix with others a bit more.
 
Ian Windsor said:
You have done a very good job you should be pleased with yourself.I have decided that now I have self diagnosed I would like to do some charity work in my locality ( dog rescue centre or foodbank).I need to build up my social skills and mix with others a bit more.
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Thanks, but mostly I just figure it was a job that had to be done and that I didn't really have a choice.

Yes, it doesn't hurt to "push" yourself socially. I suppose the important thing is that you actually get something out of it rather than just pushing yourself for the sake of pushing yourself.
 
Judge said:
Thanks, but mostly I just figure it was a job that had to be done and that I didn't really have a choice.

Yes, it doesn't hurt to "push" yourself socially. I suppose the important thing is that you actually get something out of it rather than just pushing yourself for the sake of pushing yourself.
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I think it's win win on the social front.Sometimes you need to try and push yourself to improve even though its hard and you could take the easy route.Secondly it's for a very good cause there is always someone worse off.
 
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