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Criticism and taking things personally

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by Roxy, Feb 4, 2012.

  1. Roxy

    Roxy Active Member

    I'm really bad at taking criticism. I can't bear the idea the idea that I did something wrong :-O So when my husband complains, just in general, I take it really personally. I feel bad that something went wrong and that he's complaining to me about it. Even if I didn't do anything wrong, I feel bad. If he moans that the kids didn't help out around the house, I feel like it's my fault. If he moans about the car not running right, I feel like it's my fault. If the dog did something wrong and he complains, I feel like it was my fault. Basically if he's moaning to me, I feel like I did something wrong. I'm never really sure what I did (probably because I didn't do anything) and that leaves me feeling confused as well as bad about myself :cry:

    I'm not sure how to change this. Does anyone relate to what I'm saying or is it just me? :arghh:
  2. Flinty

    Flinty Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

    Oh, and how. My parents got into shouting matches with my sister very, very often. It would cause me to run into my room thinking I had done something wrong. Of course, they also liked to blame me for things done by others...

    These days, it hits at work. I had to disappear for two months in 2010 because of it. :wacko: (We've found a happy medium now, thankfully.)
  3. BruceCM

    BruceCM New Member

    I think 'taking things personally' is a stupid term, sorry; however you 'take' whatever's said to you, it's you, personally, doing it but if you don't 'take' whatever's said in any way at all, you can't interpret it properly. Then, once you don't take it the way it comes across, there's no way to work out what way it was meant or how that affects the meaning. Obviously, it's only around here & it's only in my experience that 'taking things personally' is supposed to be so bad, otherwise the OP couldn't post about it, whilst saying they can't bear the idea they've ever done anything 'wrong'. Since that covers mistakes & , again, only in my experience, it's a given that everybody makes mistakes & nobody's perfect. Sorry, nothing really helpful to say, unless this conveys any sympathy or anything!
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