Catastrophising; it's all going to go wrong and everything will be ruined.

[Prince Aspien]

We moved recently and my main worry was bad neighbours.

In my PhD I call this trait "hiD", meaning D for dissociating into a future self who is having a terrible time! I did it yesterday when I couldn't pay for a hotel room I thought I had booked. My wife said "calm down, calm down, you are not going to die"

I replied "yes, but not having anywhere to stay in the middle of London feels like death to me!"

And so it goes...

 

[janie]

"... seems to help is realizing I can't control this and it's not really ME, just my brain looping."

Just me,
my brain looping

There is strength in knowing what it is.

When I know it's just me,
my brain looping

I try to slow myself down to a pause.

Then I ask myself, "Is this helping?"

If the answer is no, I try to encourage myself, "Ok, then put it down. Not yours. Not in your control."

Sometimes I just start with the reminder, "Not yours. Don't pick up one more thing. Leave it on the ground."

This helps me to shift and create movement.

 

[paloftoon]

If you can afford to do it, maybe rent the house and don't move in too much stuff at once. Feel it out for a month or so. Then if it's good, you can purchase it afterward maybe.

 

[janetanfei]

This is a constant problem for me.

The thing is, though, I'm right probably 3/4 of the time - the catastrophic events actually happen. I am pretty much a walking advertisement for Murphy's Law, because everything that can go wrong does happen, and a few more unrelated but ridiculously awful things will also be thrown in there for good measure.

I am not sure if I just have excessively bad luck, am some kind of seer who gets things stuck in my head because they're about to happen, or if I'm drawing bad things to myself because I can't get them out of my head (Law of Attraction). I've been trying to catch myself when I get fixated on something like that, and try to actively redirect my thoughts to something positive. I don't know what else to do, besides prepare for the worst and expect something crappy.

 

[Peatsmoke]

The thing is, though, I'm right probably 3/4 of the time - the catastrophic events actually happen. I am pretty much a walking advertisement for Murphy's Law, because everything that can go wrong does happen, and a few more unrelated but ridiculously awful things will also be thrown in there for good measure.

That's interesting. OK, maybe that's not the word you would choose... Anyway, I do this too, and when it's about my own future, everything's usually fine - the terrifying scenarios I've dreamt up do not materialise. BUT when it's about the future in general, my worst case scenario usually happens! For example: I was afraid Donald Trump would win the presidency. I was afraid people would vote for Brexit. I was afraid the world would enter a new era of greater intolerance, increased nationalism, less caring, more selfishness, and narcissistic strongmen. I was afraid Trainspotting 2 would disappoint people, if only because their expectations were impossibly high. All these fears circled around and around in my mind, together with arguments why they couldn't possibly be justified, and also why they must come true, and what I would do, think and feel if/when they did come true...

Maybe I should try some positive thinking too! Maybe all us obsessive catastrophists actually cause the catastrophes we're afraid of! Wow, that's a thought. No, that's too awful to think about...

 

[janie]

...or....

MAYBE

all us dimensionlly intense thinkers could actually cause the changes we wish to see happen!

 

[Full Steam]

...or....

MAYBE

all us dimensionlly intense thinkers could actually cause the changes we wish to see happen!

That is brilliant.

dimensionlly intense thinker. I love the feel of those words, and they seem to fit perfectly.

I'm not Aspergers, I'm a dimensionlly intense thinker, and some time that causes over heating and burn out problems, as you can imagine.

 

[Full Steam]

We moved recently and my main worry was bad neighbours.

In my PhD I call this trait "hiD", meaning D for dissociating into a future self who is having a terrible time! I did it yesterday when I couldn't pay for a hotel room I thought I had booked. My wife said "calm down, calm down, you are not going to die"

I replied "yes, but not having anywhere to stay in the middle of London feels like death to me!"

And so it goes...

I'd never thought of it lat way but you're right. I'm not in the current moment at all while in that state. I would agree about London too, and I need a centre to inhabit, from which to make short, probing attacks when venturing out .

If the answer is no, I try to encourage myself, "Ok, then put it down. Not yours. Not in your control."

Sometimes I just start with the reminder, "Not yours. Don't pick up one more thing. Leave it on the ground."

This helps me to shift and create movement.

That's a nice way to deal with it. Visual analogies like that can help, and I'll try to remember that.

It may help with stress as well as I pick up other people's stress and then can't seem to shake it off, while they are off having fun again.

This is a constant problem for me.

The thing is, though, I'm right probably 3/4 of the time - the catastrophic events actually happen. I am pretty much a walking advertisement for Murphy's Law, because everything that can go wrong does happen, and a few more unrelated but ridiculously awful things will also be thrown in there for good measure.

I am not sure if I just have excessively bad luck, am some kind of seer who gets things stuck in my head because they're about to happen, or if I'm drawing bad things to myself because I can't get them out of my head (Law of Attraction). I've been trying to catch myself when I get fixated on something like that, and try to actively redirect my thoughts to something positive. I don't know what else to do, besides prepare for the worst and expect something crappy.

That's a very interesting point.

I don't 100% believe in the law of attraction, but there is something in it I think.

These days my catastrophising is short term, and I'm careful to meditate of do what I have to to stop it rolling on and on. Realising it's not real, and not me was a huge help, as were books like Napoleon Hill (Power of Positive thinking?).

Before that though, I used to have it run on for days and weeks, and then I used to find exactly what you say - the bad things came true.

Once I stopped though, the bad things stopped occurring in the same way. Everyone has ups and downs of course, but before I had mostly downs and I could see most people were no like that, so i concluded i was just unlucky or cursed from birth

It's been years now and those huge downs have only ever come back when I've had real deep depressions, and they tend to track upwards once the depression goes.

These down turns are always things out of my control and down to luck.

Interesting point and worthy of it's own thread maybe.

 

[Full Steam]

For example: I was afraid Donald Trump would win the presidency. I was afraid people would vote for Brexit. I was afraid the world would enter a new era of greater intolerance, increased nationalism, less caring, more selfishness, and narcissistic strongmen.

I know part of that was my fault, at least I know I'm not solely to blame now though.

I was also to blame for England getting knocked out of the world cup early for a number of years. I stopped watching so i assume they are doing better now

 

[janie]

That is brilliant.

... and burn out problems, as you can imagine.

yes!

system overload warning
exceeds safety protocols by 119%
safety override initiated automatic shut-down
of all functions other than
life support

not socially deficient, rather operating on system override reserve-mode

 

[janie]

that/you/brilliant above

 

[Adora]

This is a constant problem for me.

The thing is, though, I'm right probably 3/4 of the time - the catastrophic events actually happen. I am pretty much a walking advertisement for Murphy's Law, because everything that can go wrong does happen, and a few more unrelated but ridiculously awful things will also be thrown in there for good measure.

I am not sure if I just have excessively bad luck, am some kind of seer who gets things stuck in my head because they're about to happen, or if I'm drawing bad things to myself because I can't get them out of my head (Law of Attraction). I've been trying to catch myself when I get fixated on something like that, and try to actively redirect my thoughts to something positive. I don't know what else to do, besides prepare for the worst and expect something crappy.

I understand the feeling of attracting Murphy's law,I have had a lot of times things happened that can only have a remote chance happening to most people,if one thing goes wrong then another two after it ,once the snowball starts rolling it just gets bigger,but I have to try not to think of every disaster happening but the problem is I have had the worst happen to me in the past and know how bad it can get.

 

[justin_havu]

Yep. I excel at catastrophic thinking. Usually, it happens whenever I go somewhere by myself, and it's always about the place being crowded, or even just having other people there. I have to take public transportation as I can't drive, and that is also a source of catastrophic thinking. Again, about the bus being crowded, or having other people on board.

 

[Adora]

Yep. I excel at catastrophic thinking. Usually, it happens whenever I go somewhere by myself, and it's always about the place being crowded, or even just having other people there. I have to take public transportation as I can't drive, and that is also a source of catastrophic thinking. Again, about the bus being crowded, or having other people on board.

Yeah I rely on public transportation to get around while my husband has a car I still need to a bus to go to places if he is out during the day but it took me years to get use to public transportation, there was a time I couldn't go anywhere without someone with me due to anxiety but now I use buses but I still have anxiety about where the bus is going or how much people will be on the bus and hopefully it doesn't get too crowded or too many people talk loudly but at least where I live now it's more a rural area and there is one bus that comes and it doesn't seem to get too crowded.

 

[Jennacide]

I always plan for the worst possible outcome...cant help but do that for everything..i need to be prepared.

 

[Keigan]

My mind thinks through for all possible outcomes of a situation - from a being prepared perspective I then think through mitigation and action to resolve IF things go that way. This give my mind the exercise it needs and amazing how prepared I am when things go that way, as I've already walked the path and just need to now fine tune my response.

This way my mind spins but not just on negative.

 

[abby normal]

I remember when I was young, my shrink missed his appointment with me, so the next time I met him I told him I had assumed he had collapsed and died from a heart attack. he thought that was funny.

 

[Peatsmoke]

...or....

MAYBE

all us dimensionlly intense thinkers could actually cause the changes we wish to see happen!

That's the most uplifting thing I've read this year! Definitely for the "causing changes" part, but also for the description of Aspies... With your permission, I'll think about using it when I meet NTs for the first time, e.g. "Hi! I'm Peatsmoke. I may seem weird to you, but really I'm not - I'm just dimensionally intense." Cool!

 

[Full Steam]

That's the most uplifting thing I've read this year! Definitely for the "causing changes" part, but also for the description of Aspies... With your permission, I'll think about using it when I meet NTs for the first time, e.g. "Hi! I'm Peatsmoke. I may seem weird to you, but really I'm not - I'm just dimensionally intense." Cool!

All we need now is word of mouth and momentum to change the term Aspie.

We just need to get lots of well connected Aspies together that can pass on the message and reach tipping point.

Oh wait....


Any one know any well connected Aspies?

 

[umbrellabeach]

Every time I plan something, something happens to destroy it. So it's hard not to have that kind of mindset. Only I do it because of experience. I think I'm cursed by Murphy's Law too.