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Featured Being Around People Drains Me

Discussion in 'Friends, Family & Social Skills' started by The Penguin, May 13, 2017.

  1. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    It took me many years to realized this about myself, but I starting to understand being around people drains me. I will give some examples about myself.

    Family: For having a large family, there is always lots of people at family events. At least 30 to 50 people and sometimes even more. With all the conversations going on, and me not able to connect with anyone, I feel left out. During this process, it does drain lots of energy around me. All is on my mind is I want to leave as soon as I can. Family gatherings on average for my family is at least 6 hours yet it feels like a full day to me.

    Co workers: Anything related to work social events drains me deeply. I always end up being bored for these type of things. I decided to decline for all future events as it no point for me. The exception if it during office hours, then I'm kinda stuck since I would lose pay during that time if I didn't show up. Though I could use a vacation day which is something I might try to do next time.

    Out In Public: Hearing people conversations in public normally drains me as most things people talk about in society I don't care about. To manage through this, I must have music with me at all times.

    I have learned to enjoy things alone. In about a week from now I'm going camping alone for 5 days. I choose the first day of my camping trip on Canadian Victoria Day. Why? Well, by the time I arrive at my camp site, many people would have left since people need to work the next day. As a whole, I plan my trips during non busy periods as I can't stand doing vacation trips when their lots of people that would drain my energy away.

    As some of you know I'm aiming to build my life to be a hermit. Once I reach this goal, I will have all the energy in the world on a regular basis.
     
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  2. kay

    kay Well-Known Member

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    My favorite time to camp at nearby lakes is winter. We can camp for free in quite a few spots and generally have the campgrounds to ourselves. It rarely gets terribly cold in Missouri. Others disagree because they think frosty shoes in the morning is a problem.
     
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  3. mw2530

    mw2530 Well-Known Member

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    I also feel work social events are draining and boring as hell. When I first began working after college I attended many of the social functions to try and fit in, but they always gave me terrible anxiety and I always left feeling horrible about myself and more lonely than ever due to how terribly I interacted with people. I quit going to all work social functions (happy hours, Christmas party, etc) a year or two ago and don't feel obligated to go to them. I still have to interact with people at work as part of my job, but the conversation is always focused on work. I figure I already spend too much time with these people already just by working everyday, why would I want to use my precious free time to spend additional time with these people? No thanks.
     
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  4. James Hardy

    James Hardy Active Member

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    and people wonder why i work 3rd shift and live in a basement. less people.
     
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  5. Suzanne

    Suzanne Well-Known Member

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    Drains me too! But being on my own too much, is also very draining.

    I guess balance is the answer?

    Received an email about an up coming event and I groaned and felt sick. Asked my husband if he had received the same email and no, he hadn't, so told him about it and that I am just saying now, that I will not be going, so that, he doesn't get a shock.

    I have had enough; got to the point now, that I do not have to be forced into doing certain actions. I do hospitality ( my faith) and that is hell, basically, but I do force myself, and so, in effect, not going to functions is a sort of: my little treat.
     
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  6. Lady Penelope

    Lady Penelope Well-Known Member

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    My goal as a child was to be a hermit.
    My mum's side is a large family. I feel anxious when having to attend events even when not everyone will be there. Hell, having to entertain my own parents is draining.
    I was alienated from work occasions as i could not bring myself to go them. I was the odd girl in the office.
    I have to wear earphones down the street and to the supermarket cos i can't process everyone's conversations.
    I think my main aversion is due to the inane conversations ... purile ... chit chat about nothing ... etc.
    I still think I'll end up a grey haired old hermit lady with a pack of dogs :rolleyes: happy days
     
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  7. Danny 74

    Danny 74 Well-Known Member

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    One of the reasons i cant stand summer is theres people everywhere. .. I always celebrate midsummers day though as it starts getting darker of a evening after that. Darkness is my sheild. I feel to exposed to the world in the summer
     
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  8. xudo

    xudo something V.I.P Member

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    I always wear headphones if I have to go out alone (which is rare). It helps because I can't hear everything going on around me, and also means that people don't (generally) try to talk to me.
     
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  9. Lady Penelope

    Lady Penelope Well-Known Member

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    Same here. Summer light is like a spot light that you can't turn off or hide from...
    Winter shadows and gloom is so much more comfortable... layers of clothes also feels better.
     
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  10. Keigan

    Keigan Restless Mind V.I.P Member

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    Today I had to go into a big box store. During the adventure I didn't have interact with anyone but I did have to navigate around everyone - I knew what I was looking for and where to find it, it seems everyone else was just consuming space.

    + headphones from now on
     
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  11. toothless

    toothless this is mr shadow,my support cat V.I.P Member

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    i hate the physical concept of people ,they overstimulate me-especially visually and with noise/sound but with smell as well,so i can understand why you feel so bad penguin.

    i think you will be a successful hermit,penguin it can be done... my uncle jimmy in ireland is an aspie and hermit on his farm,he has many animals around him which is his first love.
     
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  12. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    "Drains".

    Damn good adjective, William. Can't think of a better way to describe being around people in general.

    Must sound deplorable or preposterous to many, but in my world "it is what it is". No more, and no less. Even under the best conditions socialization can be exhausting.
     
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  13. Warmheart

    Warmheart Something nerdy this way comes Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    I can relate, Penguin! I'm trying to strive toward balance, with lots and lots but f solitude as decompression time around any interactions.
     
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  14. JackSkellington

    JackSkellington Active Member

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    Not trying to sound rude or anything.. but it honestly feels like you just can't handle big groups. Then by default you are feeling "drained" by everyone else. That seems a bit unfair to everyone in the world. Not everyone is bad just because they are being themselves! What you are doing seems like "stereotyping" which rarely does any good. Being a hermit just seems like an excuse to avoid people (majority that you don't even know).
     
  15. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    I never once said that in my post so no idea why you said that? Even if I don't connect with many people, I don't normally think of the person as bad person. Instead, I think about it unlikely I would connect with this person based on the stuff they are into that I have zero interest in.

    I'm not using as a excuse to avoid people. I put into a lot of thought before deciding having a life as a hermit. So I don't find it fair if your goal is to bash at me for being a hermit as I'm entitled to make my own life choices.

    We both have different views and have different goals in life. But before assuming things about me that are not true, you should confirm with me first.
     
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  16. JackSkellington

    JackSkellington Active Member

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    Think what you want, I'm done posting in this. I think it's clear you would rather shut out people and find differences than find things in common.
     
  17. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    That not true. Sometimes I find someone in public I can have a decent conversation with. This is the reason why in my public section of my post I used the words, normally and most because it not like this all of the time, but most of the time for people that I witness in public.
     
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  18. Adora

    Adora Well-Known Member

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    I understand Penguin I also get very drained from being around a lot of people,I recently attended a Wedding for my Husband's uncle who flew from New Zealand to get married here in Australia and while there was around only 20 people who attended this wedding I still felt drained being around a majority of people that I have never met before and ended up sitting in a corner at the reception but I do find that I usually am like this at social gatherings,while I can socialise ok in the beginning I start to feel drained and it gets worse if more people turn up at these social gatherings also while I do like to go Shopping to buy my dolls and other stuff I still can get very drained from it and there are even times when I feel weak and have to sit down for a minute.
     
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  19. The Penguin

    The Penguin Chilly Willy The Penguin

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    Oh yes weddings. The last one I went to on my mother side of the family. The ceremony was OK but by the time of the reception, felt very drained. I didn't enjoy myself at all. After some hours, I decided to leave as I had enough.

    Recently I was invited to another wedding in another country. I had to decline as I'm not reliving this experience again.
     
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  20. Mike Stouffer

    Mike Stouffer Mike Stouffer V.I.P Member

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    L
    In my travels I've experienced being around lots of people to living how some perceive as a hermit. I prefer the hermit. I like being comfortable in my 24 hours so spend much of it alone. Live in an area that has lots of islands (Great Lakes) and even take a ferry in to see doc. It's not because I "want" to avoid people per say, just all the pistons are firing too fast. . Definitely get ya!
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2017
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