Aspergers vs. very high IQ vs. the school system.

[Bolletje]

Learning the prescribed method was more important than just getting the right answers. The basic method is what works generally.* Discovered short-cuts may work in the short term, but not necessarily in real-life examples of that kind of problem.

*Later math builds on that.

True. I discovered that much later when I was studying for a university admission test and had to go through all my high school math, physics and science without any teachers. If only one of my teachers had taken the time to explain that to me in high school though.
I don't have trouble following directions, but I need to know why I'm doing something (other than ' because I say so' )

 

[SomeRandomAspie]

Hello everybody,
My son(12 years old) was diagnosed with Aspergers recently.
He has also taken an IQ test(Wechsler) and scored 152 (highest possible is 160, which nobody gets). Also among the highest in aptitude tests in the country.
In short he scored in the 99.99% percentile rank in the IQ test and the aptitude test. He is also in music school were he excels, and is very good in computer programming which is a hobby. Loves astronomy and has taken a course on university level etc etc.
On top of that he is kind of lazy...

In short the school system is making me crasy, in how they deal with him.
We live in Scandinavia.

It is extremely difficult to make the teachers, educational people in the "system" understand his needs. Its like they dont want to make the right solutions because of agendas or some "higher" policy.

And how some teachers have talked down to him, when at the same time he is much more clever on the subject than they are and much more articulate.
He defenitely has some asynchronous development, but that is to be expected in his case.
It brings up a lot of challenges this situation. He is not arrogant, or obnoxious, nor are we the parents, overzelous in any way. His biggest problem have been angry outburst, mostly in school where he tears up exams or assignment. It wasnt like that before. Part of that is of course perfectionism that he has developed.

And now he doesn´t want to go to school, basically from extreme boredom, and he has not fitted in for the last 2-3 years in school. Also the school expelled him twice from his behavior. One time he tore up some small book(not in front of anybody), also because he ruined some poster on the wall.
That expulsion (11 years old) just made him resent school, which at the time, although totally bored, had great respect for.
He is getting depressed and the situation is getting out of hand.
He doesn´t show any signs of autism in some categories. Mostly in, how he has difficulties expressing his feelings, and he can also be socially awkard. Those traits have gotten worse for the last 2-3 years. Go figure!

I really dont know what to do.
Do we tackle the situation on his supposed Aspergers, or his "giftedness"?. Or does it matter anyway?
We have told him the diagnosis, but are not sure if its right to dwell on that.
I have no prejudice against autism, but put in the context, I am not sure that approach will do him any good!
Isn´t also possible that the diagnosis could just be totallly wrong? Or am I delusional.. ;-)

Yeah, I have pretty much the same situation, except I am the aspie. Why not help him with his social skills and let him do his own research. Honestly I find that I can't learn much in school, but rather I know it all and can see many flaws in the instructor's lesson. The best thing you can do is to teach him to teach himself.

 

[Voltaic]

School does not encourage different ways of thinking and different strategies. I have my many problems with school, but I am not going to pin all my problems on the establishment. I found that when I was in school, my methods of doing my work, though often much more fast, my own, and as effective, I was encouraged against it, even marked against my own strategies, even if I come up with the right answers. Another thing was, is that school didn't teach base understanding of a lot of topics, instead opting for the 'you don't need to understand why, but this is how you do it' Especially in math, this frustrated me, since I just felt like a calculator doing the equations, instead of fully understanding and being able to work the equations to different situations. I did not enjoy school, they somehow made one of my favorite activities as menial, boring, and mind numbing as possible, and enforcing every kid to learn overall throughout every sing year, one thing. "Learning is not fun"

Okay, that turned into a rant.

 

[Nervous Rex]

Velkommen, Thor! Jeg haaber at De kan lige det her (taking a hopeful guess at what language "scandinavian" means! The "en" in "Jensen" gives me hope that I guessed right.)

I feel like I'm very much like your son. I test well academically and scored in the top 99% on all standardized tests. I was the valedictorian in my school. I had an IQ test for our school's honor society two weeks before my 17th birthday and the tester debated whether to give me the children's test, designed for people under 17, or the adult test, designed for people 17 and older. He gave me the children's test, then said he couldn't gauge my IQ because I wasn't supposed to get all the questions right.

1) Make him your partner. Don't just work to help him. Ask him what he thinks will help. Exchange and test ideas with him. It will not just help him to find solutions that work for him, but it will teach him how to find his own solutions later.

2) Don't address his autism or his intellect as a problem. Only address the parts that are causing problems for him. If "bored with school" is a problem, address "bored with school." I did well in school, but I caused problems and acted up when I got bored. I made quite a few visits to the principal's office and at the time I thought it was because I was a "bad kid". It sounds like he may need something outside of school to keep him challenged, or a more challenging school. I often wonder if I would not be so lazy now if I was more challenged earlier in life.

2) Help him find what rewards him. I am also very lazy. I have nice professional job (which I should be doing right now!), but I struggle to keep focus and stay productive. I found that I always love any job, work, or hobby where I get to make something. It can be a writing a program, solving a math problem, making a model, writing a poem, building a deck - anything creative is rewarding to me. When you and your son know what rewards him, you can either give him rewards for doing the work he doesn't want to do, or find a way to build the reward into the work.

 

[Mr Allen]

Even if your son does have a very high IQ, he'll never be as smart or socially accepted as the school swot, that's just the way it is.