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Apologising for being oneself.

Suzanne

Suzanne

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
I am storing wood that my husband is bringing home and he walks in and says that I am in his way ( haha face) and I went to apologise and he said: yes, but I am in your way too and that actually catapulted me into realising that I feel apologetic being ME. When we are in a supermarket and someone gets in MY way, I apologise to THEM.

This spreads to my whole existence.

It is so distressing, because I am pretty much stuck with being me and certainly cannot afford botox lol
 
Sounds like to me that when your husband say's "I am in his way". I think what he really means is, Don't apologize, just get out of my way. I think he just trying to come up with a nice way of saying it.
 
a lot of people do this, I wouldn't read into it too much. Ever come upon a situation in a hallway where you are about to run into someone and you both move in a manner that continues to block the others' path? If you thought windows has bugs, it's no where near the bugs that we have to deal with.
 
FreeDiver said:
Sounds like to me that when your husband say's "I am in his way". I think what he really means is, Don't apologize, just get out of my way. I think he just trying to come up with a nice way of saying it.
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Not at all. He was just joking with me. He never is one to "try and find a nice way to say it"; he just says it.

It just caught me, that indeed he was in my way too, but it would not occur to say that to him.
 
xudo said:
This to me is just being British :sweatsmile:
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I was just thinking that. There is still that British-ism of being so quick to apologise that influences certain elements of Canadian society; some Americans, fairly, find it hilarious.

I'm pretty sure that my last words after being run over by a car might be "oh, sorry!"
 
xudo said:
This to me is just being British :sweatsmile:
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Not so sure, because hubby is also from the uk and wouldn't say sorry. In fact when I do say sorry, he says: wow, you are rather amazing to say sorry when it is not even you who needs to say sorry lol
 
Suzanne said:
I am storing wood that my husband is bringing home and he walks in and says that I am in his way ( haha face) and I went to apologise and he said: yes, but I am in your way too and that actually catapulted me into realising that I feel apologetic being ME. When we are in a supermarket and someone gets in MY way, I apologise to THEM.

This spreads to my whole existence.

It is so distressing, because I am pretty much stuck with being me and certainly cannot afford botox lol
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I end up apologizing allot for being me too!
I wish others would try to like me a little more instead of complaining I am too different all the time...life would be boring if we were all the same.

P.S. you don't need Botox from what I see
 
Maelstrom said:
I end up apologizing allot for being me too!
I wish others would try to like me a little more instead of complaining I am too different all the time...life would be boring if we were all the same.

P.S. you don't need Botox from what I see
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That is very sweet of you to say. My husband compliments me, but I still hate the way I look and would love to have a different face.

Interesting; perhaps it is an aspie thing, eh?
 
Suzanne said:
Not so sure, because hubby is also from the uk and wouldn't say sorry. In fact when I do say sorry, he says: wow, you are rather amazing to say sorry when it is not even you who needs to say sorry lol
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Not everyone in Britain is overly apologetic, just the vast majority :smile::smile:
 
Suzanne said:
That is very sweet of you to say. My husband compliments me, but I still hate the way I look and would love to have a different face.

Interesting; perhaps it is an aspie thing, eh?
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Your picture looks very nice to me...but do what makes you happy.
 
Suzanne said:
I am storing wood that my husband is bringing home and he walks in and says that I am in his way ( haha face) and I went to apologise and he said: yes, but I am in your way too and that actually catapulted me into realising that I feel apologetic being ME. When we are in a supermarket and someone gets in MY way, I apologise to THEM.

This spreads to my whole existence.

It is so distressing, because I am pretty much stuck with being me and certainly cannot afford botox lol
Click to expand...

And what's wrong with being yourself.you gave nothing to apologise for.Its polite to say sorry when you or someone gets in your way.it doesn't really mean anything it's just polite interaction that I've learned over the years.i have high functioning autism and I relate to what you have said.Your very depressed and need to get to a doctor and get some help.Dont be so hard on yourself.
 
Phillip Cowdrey said:
And what's wrong with being yourself.you gave nothing to apologise for.Its polite to say sorry when you or someone gets in your way.it doesn't really mean anything it's just polite interaction that I've learned over the years.i have high functioning autism and I relate to what you have said.Your very depressed and need to get to a doctor and get some help.Dont be so hard on yourself.
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Nope, do not suffer from depression and was on prozac for 16 years and so shall NEVER take rubbish again!

What is wrong being me? Oh everything and all to do with my past and probably being born too, since I remember as a child of 5 feeling inadequent and never grown out of it; just learned to cope better.
 
Maelstrom said:
Your picture looks very nice to me...but do what makes you happy.
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Again, thank you for the compliment. Actually hubby was joking around taking selfies of himself ( all because as he was talking, I could not get passed the fact that his hair looked like two ears - scruffed up).

Anyway, he threatens to take a "candid" of me, but of course, not candid if told about it and try to hide, but he still manages to capture a part of me and astonishingly, for once, I look slim, well shouldn't be astonished since I am be proactive with losing weight from stupid prozac and other health issues. So I might as yet, feel ok with myself some day.
 
Suzanne, the problem's exacerbated by your being female. We tend to apologize a lot...and I know I did when I was married to my ex; he was abusive and blamed me for anything that went wrong so it became second nature to apologize for anything and accept blame. Now that you know you do it, like a bad habit, it's easier to deal with. Now that I have my ornery and cussed back after dumping the toad, I tend to be more aware of that and don't apologize unless it really is my fault.
 
I had a falling out with a good friend which devastated me because she was one of maybe 5 in my entire lifetime. Anyway, she couldn't handle my Aspie quirks (neither of us knew it at the time) and one of them was I would constantly apologize. I didn't do it to be annoying. I really felt I had to apologize for being myself sometimes. It annoyed her so much that she snapped about it. It was very hurtful. As a result, I don't think I've apologized since then to anyone--unless there's a definite need because I'm so self conscious about it.
 
LittleLemon said:
I had a falling out with a good friend which devastated me because she was one of maybe 5 in my entire lifetime. Anyway, she couldn't handle my Aspie quirks (neither of us knew it at the time) and one of them was I would constantly apologize. I didn't do it to be annoying. I really felt I had to apologize for being myself sometimes. It annoyed her so much that she snapped about it. It was very hurtful. As a result, I don't think I've apologized since then to anyone--unless there's a definite need because I'm so self conscious about it.
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it was wrong of her to snap at you....I think it is sweet and kind to be willing to go the extra mile on apologizing,it is a nice flaw to have in my opinion:)
 
Maelstrom said:
it was wrong of her to snap at you....I think it is sweet and kind to be willing to go the extra mile on apologizing,it is a nice flaw to have in my opinion:)
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That's kind of you to say :) I always thought so too, but that falling out made me question it. I thought I was being very polite. I wouldn't say it out of the blue. I can't even give an example, but I still don't understand why it annoyed her. There were other things she went off on me for, so it wasn't just that. She found my awkward body language in public places annoying which made me even more anxious around her. I just progressively annoyed her and I'm still confused on why.
 
LittleLemon said:
I just progressively annoyed her and I'm still confused on why.
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Probably because at some point she surmised that you are different and not likely to be the person she wanted you to be just to fit in with everyone else. When apologies were not enough.

Instead of accepting you, she chose to reject you.

My condolences. I know how that feels.
 
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