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Featured Any NeuroTypicals active on AspiesCentral???

Discussion in 'General Autism Discussion' started by MROSS, Feb 15, 2017.

  1. MROSS

    MROSS Active Member

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    Hello,

    Judging from reading (and responding to) AspiesCentral, it seems there is a need to boost those NeuroTypical contributions to advise, and NUDGE (when necessary) to encourage understanding on the many important topics that too often "get lost in the shuffle!"

    Thank-you
     
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  2. tree

    tree Frosty Possum Staff Member V.I.P Member

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    Most of the NTs seem to be 'lovelorn' [seeking advice on
    how to deal with aspie partners] or parents of aspie
    kids seeking supportive ideas for child-rearing.
     
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  3. xudo

    xudo Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    Yeah, I've pretty much only seen NT's coming here for love advice. I don't frequent the parenting section, but I had assumed there would be NT parents looking for help and answers with aspie/autie kids.

    I disagree. I think we do a good job (for the most part) in answering questions and giving advice on understanding stuff surrounding life for us in an NT world. I for one wouldn't be overly happy for an influx of NT's or being nudged in any way.
     
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  4. MROSS

    MROSS Active Member

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    Hello,

    NTs who can be most helpful are people who've established that rapport, and assisted with matters other than parenting, and intimate relationships. The most helpful NTs may also treat concerns from impartial perspectives.

    From my own personal experience, and with many others involved with AspiesCentral, there is that need for advice to help Asperger adults with such issues as struggling with state govt. agencies, and their non-profits (whom state agencies fund) to be more responsive towards resources appropriate for clientele with least restrictions to independence.

    Another “out-of-the box” approach (for lack of a better description) is to draw parallels to senior citizens in order to better understand the service needs of adults with Aspergers.

    With Aspergers involved, the needs of both seniors, and adults who can largely function independently share a lot in common; difficulties with executive functioning.

    Trust management services that provide services for senior citizens, who can largely function independently might just provide good examples concerning Aspergers.

    Such services are not supported by state developmental service agencies, hence a private-pay option. Can private-pay options can be kept affordable? Are trust-management services a feasible option?

    Specific support services involve the presence of "third party" advisors involving major financial transactions, as well as complex health and medical issues, purchasing a vehicle, understanding, and filling-out paperwork, and property transactions e.g., rental issues.

    In an ever-more complex world, NTs and Aspergers alike periodically need to consult professional services to help navigate those "tricky" agendas that are a part of everyday life!

    Thank-you
     
  5. xudo

    xudo Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I'm not being deliberately obtuse, but I still don't particularly see the need here. There are always other site and forums out there that will be mainly populated with NT's on which the information could possibly be found. Also it seems that a lot of the things you've mentioned concern the American healthcare system and I live in the UK, so any help there would be of no use to me. In my city at least, there are people who can help with issues surrounding benefits, employment and getting help for those of us on the spectrum and healthcare is free so no financial issues surrounding that either.
     
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  6. toothless

    toothless autism & ID activist V.I.P Member

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    hi MROSS, are you saying we need more NT members? i dont agree we need a lot more NTs in one way because its an ASD forum and we need a safe space,but in another way itd be good if we could get NT parents of autistic children directed here to obtain guidance from our community as the ones they tend to end up on see autism [including LFA] as a tragedy which is BS ,we need to be teaching NTs its not a tragedy but that society isnt set up for us so we are more impaired than we need to be,if earth was packed with autistics we would accomodate and adapt for the whole spectrum,we wouldnt be disabled we would be enabled.

    you also mention aspergers adults alot in your posts,it isnt just aspergers people need educating on,im LFA and i am very frustrated and fed up at the amount of people who see my level of autism as something that needs curing rather than just accepting it as part of me and helping me live the best life i can without being called a burden or tragedy.
     
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  7. xudo

    xudo Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I totally agree.
     
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  8. toothless

    toothless autism & ID activist V.I.P Member

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    xudo,i think sometimes we are used like zoo animals to stare at by NTs who have been screwed over or dumped by a boyfriend who is aspie or they think fits aspie traits,and they dont usually stick around to learn about the spectrum.we really need a sanctuary away from to much of that,as it places a lot of burden on us just for sharing the same label or traits.
    autists need to be able to feel safe about talking about things that concern us or our lives mainly-we have some great NT members here [or people who identify as NT currently] and they have a lot to contribute in the apropriate subjects/areas but we also need to balance that with a safe haven for us.
    sorry i hope i havent offended anyone.
     
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  9. Allicat

    Allicat Member

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    I am considered NT; I don't have a diagnosis. I did take the Aspie quiz, and if you look at my signature it's clear I don't particularly lean to neurotypical OR neurodiverse. I do suspect, had I been evaluated by someone knowledgeable in spectrum disorders as a kid (this would have been 40-50 years ago) I'd have been given a diagnosis of Asperger's (the social issues, the sensory sensitivities, the single focus interests, etc).

    Thing is, I was fortunate to have been brought up in a family of health professionals and educators, and was fascinated enough by human behavior to teach myself what acceptable social behavior looks like. For example, I remember reading somewhere as a kid, that eye contact was important when conversing, but staring wasn't. And so I practiced making and breaking eye contact in the mirror until I thought it looked right. Somewhere else I read handshakes should be firm; not so hard you are squeezing someone's hand but weak handshakes are unacceptable. Practiced that too. Most of my social skills came from books now that I think about it LOL

    But what I'm saying is, myself and I suspect some others here, straddle the line between NT and spectrum. And for me, at least, I find the forum a place where not only can I share what info I have from an NT/health professional point of view (I'm an occupational therapist) and seek info to help my son who DOES have a spectrum diagnosis, but also a place where I can express the parts of me that remain neurodiverse with others who get it and accept it.
     
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  10. Bolletje

    Bolletje Well-Known Member

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    I very much agree. I've only been here for 6 weeks but I suspect the lovelorn NT's have always been here. I understand their needs for answers but I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated when some of them don't really seem to want to learn about ASD but just want to vent. I feel like I need to defend ND people. Which, on the one hand, might be positive, because I'm becoming more of an ASD-advocate daily, but that's not what I come to AC for.
     
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  11. xudo

    xudo Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I think it's great that people can do exactly this, but my point was more that I disagree with the OP saying that we need more completely NT people here to nudge us or anything else.
     
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  12. toothless

    toothless autism & ID activist V.I.P Member

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    allicat,i hope what i said didnt offend you,i think you are awesome and are a great contributor to the site,i dont even think of you being NT when i see you post,its like your part of the e-wood work. :D
     
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  13. Grandmother B

    Grandmother B Member

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    I am an NT. My grandson has Asperger's so I have been trying to learn all I can about it. I have gotten many insights on here.
     
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  14. Myrtonos

    Myrtonos Well-Known Member

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    Are any of these N.T posters mentors? One of them used to mentor me by email but has gone mean and told me to desist from emailing her. :(
     
  15. RabbitHeartedGirl

    RabbitHeartedGirl NT girl formerly dating Aspie guy

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    I'm NT and have thought I should probably spend more time contributing to some of the posts here.

    As another responder mentioned, I did come here originally seeking to understand my Aspie guy (now ex) but have seen many posts where I thought I should contribute. I guess sometimes we need a nudge too
     
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  16. Diagnosed2015

    Diagnosed2015 Well-Known Member V.I.P Member

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    I've lived almost 60 years in a NT world and learned to navigate it. I don't have any problems with them, other than when they want help to "understand," or "change" someone, which annoys me.

    People don't want to be changed, and most are quite happy in relationships that NT's find disturbing. It's not our place to make the NT's feel better or learn to live "with us."

    I'd rather help other Aspies learn to be happy with themselves. Then, they would have more confidence about NT's who try to change them.
     
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  17. Elizabeth

    Elizabeth Well-Known Member

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    I'm NT (I'm told). Ha.

    My 2 year old son is on the spectrum but is too young to have a full diagnosis. My Uncle has Aspberger's and I'm his only family member who isn't trying to normalize him.

    I'm here to learn. My son will never have to endure the childhood that my Uncle did. I'm his advocate, protector and his biggest fan.
     
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  18. Judge

    Judge Well-Known Member

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    Nice sentiments. I suspect my mother would have said the same had she known I was on the spectrum as well. The only unconditional love I ever felt.

    However if your family is still attempting to "normalize" your uncle in the present, it reflects that that your son is likely to be exposed to the same hostile environment in the future when he's old enough to be outside your care, custody and control.

    I had a relatively loving and stable home environment. However it could not protect me once I walked out the front door. At around nine years of age my grade school peers became unrelentingly hostile towards me all the way to the end of high school. While my parents grieved with me, there was really nothing they could do. (They had previously sought medical advice at a time when autism wouldn't have occurred to them in the early 60s.)

    I suppose what I'm saying is that you need to be his "preparer" more than his "protector". Though at two years of age this may seem like a distant concern for both you and him. It isn't, considering if and when his peers begin to turn on him.
     
    Last edited: Feb 16, 2017
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  19. John Smith II

    John Smith II New Member

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    I'm an NT. I'm not lovelorn. Instead, I'm in an almost 21 year relationship with an Aspie. So I follow this forum just to get some perspective, to see it from the viewpoint of the Aspie.

    After all these years, my partner and I have learned how to handle each other. I know that he needs a lot of time alone, a lot of quiet time. He's learned that I need to talk about my day a little when I come home and that I like to engage with others in discussions about social and political issues. So we've manged to make it work.

    I'd be lying if I said it wasn't frustrating at times. He doesn't get the point of most social interactions. So we rarely go out with other couples. I go out with my friends and he stays home and happily does stuff on his computer. But we do have gatherings in our home. We just had a dinner party with 4 other neighbors. He did OK, although he spoke very little throughout the evening.

    The one thing I've occasionally been surprised to find in these forums is the animosity that some Aspies have toward NT's. I can understand some of it, after being treated like something is wrong with you. But some of it really shocks me. So I stay in here to get some understanding.
     
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  20. Melissa

    Melissa Active Member

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