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90% of the world is antisocial

Autism is classed as a social disability meaning we can be antisocial with out meaning to be, we don't do it on purpose but oh well most of the world do it I'm different ways so guess it doesn't matter anyway
 
This subject is easily delicate but from what I know antisocial behavior dresses many forms. For example being isolated from society is likely to be considered antisocial but there are also the psychopaths now called in modern psychology sociopaths. These are the individuals who intentionally don't follow the social rules being dangerous even to us suffering from Aspergers or Autism. You must be aware that these people are the masters of disguise, are simulating things, and can with ease outsmart other people.
Newer researches have showed that these sociopaths cannot emphatize with other people, but what happens exactly in their brains is still a mystery.
 
I'm saying it shouldn't be a crime to be slightly antisocial everyone does it when they call a friend lie to be polite, spread lies hurt.... And if autistic people had no empathy they wouldn't care what people think and wouldn't try and cover up there autism, I think they have a lot of empathy because even NT people couldn't constantly cover up what they wanted and needed all the time just to fit in.... And even when they do they usually end up depressed pushed out and isolated like us. Even some NT people who are just really nice, end up as bullied as we do.... It's not social to bully or isolate people because they are different maybe were sociable in the right way, but they proffer their way because they can lie manipulate and have what they need and want.. Maybe having autism isn't so bad after all and we are just made to feel it is all because were not doing what they expect or want
 
I think it may be considered as social disorder (or whatnot) because the way people on the spectrum see socializing and the way many people socialize is different. We might become confused about purpose behind other people behavior, their motives etc. In the end (and I might have said it many times already :) ) we all need to try to accept each other and compromise. Maybe it will happen one day, the balance will be achieved. Plus a lot of people feel isolated. There are some theories why it happens. Like I've just read in one article that many of us (Autism folks) feel isolated because we don't see ourselves in other people, again other people's behavior may be confusing to us. The article states that it could be rewarding to hang out with people like ourselves. But I'm not sure if it's specifically an Autism problem. I think any unique individual may feel isolated. But when I start thinking about it, I still can't quite figure out if it only has to with our differences or maybe there's more to it, like, for instance inability to establish an emotional connection on several levels.... whatever, moving on :) I'd like to say one more thing about manipulation. A lot of people don't manipulate intentionally. And people with Autism can be as manipulative as anyone else. I'm not necessarily talking about building complex plans to destroy somebody's life but I have seen it. And I have seen it on this forum as well :)
 
Some NT PEOPLE not all do expect things we can't give, it can make them dislike us. We don't understand them either but we try and try to fit in so it's more antisocial of them to be so mean. The ones who at least try are awesome but the ones who don't care or try to are selfish, if they were in an autistic persons shoes they would expect to be treated fairly, I know this because they are expecting people who find it hard to give more than they can.
 
That's why our goal should be to explain and advocate. But I always wondered about one thing, we want to be accepted, treated fairly but can many of us do the same? Let's say somebody is starting loosing patience with you, maybe even becomes mean too you. And then you find out that they are going though some tough times, or have mental illness or what not and can't control their emotions very well. Would you take it personally, would you think they are offending you as a person on the spectrum or would you be understanding? And, of course, some people get completely out of control, and become violent and abusive, and it's hard to be understanding and forgiving, while you want them to be responsible for what they're doing. I'm talking about milder situations, that happen to many people every day. We might say, "don't you understand how hard it is for us" and they might say the same thing. I would ask an additional question - do we want to be accepted or do we want to be accommodated? Are we fighting for acceptance and equality for everybody or just ourselves?
 
I think it may be considered as social disorder (or whatnot) because the way people on the spectrum see socializing and the way many people socialize is different. We might become confused about purpose behind other people behavior, their motives etc. In the end (and I might have said it many times already :) ) we all need to try to accept each other and compromise. Maybe it will happen one day, the balance will be achieved. Plus a lot of people feel isolated. There are some theories why it happens. Like I've just read in one article that many of us (Autism folks) feel isolated because we don't see ourselves in other people, again other people's behavior may be confusing to us. The article states that it could be rewarding to hang out with people like ourselves. But I'm not sure if it's specifically an Autism problem. I think any unique individual may feel isolated. But when I start thinking about it, I still can't quite figure out if it only has to with our differences or maybe there's more to it, like, for instance inability to establish an emotional connection on several levels.... whatever, moving on :) I'd like to say one more thing about manipulation. A lot of people don't manipulate intentionally. And people with Autism can be as manipulative as anyone else. I'm not necessarily talking about building complex plans to destroy somebody's life but I have seen it. And I have seen it on this forum as well :)
Good points. With regard to manipulation: someone could have issues such as NPD, ASP or BPD in addition to or instead of (maybe more likely instead of) autism. With new research showing very definitive and objective tests for autism emerging and that really look at the neurology and movement disorder aspects, I would hope there would be fewer misdiagnoses going both ways.

I consider myself very social and just keep refining my social methods and I do ask for feedback from friends. I feel most autistics want people to be very direct with them. I like when I can find out what others find annoying in me and it is helpful if I can explain what is annoying that they do but my goal is to not offend so I realize a lot of NTs find it annoying to be told what I find annoying. Thus I have to do some adjusting if I want or need to be around them. Someone I know has a loud laugh that sets off hyperacusis and my middle ear myoclonus. I plug my ears when she laughs but it can still vibrate through so I stopped going to group dinners with her but have fun with texting back and forth with her sometimes. I find it important to acknowledge others feelings. I can imagine being "in their shoes." As we DO have empathy, I can imagine it seems rude when I plug my ears. I either try to hide it or just say, "I know this might look rude but I am just having a hearing problem but am not trying to stop you in order to make us talk about the ear problem!"
 
I think there's a great deal of rationalization of NT behavior based on numbers- and social convenience.

Because autism is a condition relative only to a few percent of the population, it's socially convenient for the remainder to dismiss us not as being different, but as being "wrong". This mentality also carries a perceived ethical "seal of approval" as would most any democracy which derives its policy from a majority consensus.

I also see hypocrisy, compassion and tolerance as very much part of the human condition. However it's socially (and emotionally) more convenient for most people to be hypocritical about something rather than to be compassionate or tolerant. And when considering those numbers, the only thing worse than hypocrisy or intolerance might be indifference.

To say this is an "uphill battle" is an understatement.
 
Explaining how autism effects you to some people means you can control how it affects you or stop acting autistic, then your seen as using it to get out of trouble when your actually just trying to explain... That's why from now on instead of telling people I will agree and if my body keeps making the same mistakes they can see how frustrating it is for themselfs and how it affects me, I'm going to stop asking people for understanding and acceptance and just ignore them because they won't listen most of the time when trying to explain anyway they will just say it's an excuse fake, or not as bad... Some people with autism can pronounce words very well and talk well to, doesn't mean they understand other peoples view point or opinions on what their saying or even how to say it without pissing others off. My point being that, psychopaths can fake being caring very well doesn't mean they feel anything, we cover up difficulties well, doesn't mean we can stop them.
 
People can act like they understand things they don't, their actions can make it seem like they really get it when they don't, it's kind of crule how people don't see how bad it is beneath that
 
For example: some one with autism lays on a cool floor, they refuse to get up... People tell them to get up and they say "but I have autism" what if that person is really trying to say "I'm hot with a fever, I feel sick and dizzy. If I don't lay down on this cold floor to cool off I will collapse, having autism makes this unbearable for my body I can't cope with how it feels" some times people with autism just can't explain it the way they won't... Maybe that second things in their mind, it just dosent come out that way when they try and explain, and that's communication difficulties.
 
For example: some one with autism lays on a cool floor, they refuse to get up... People tell them to get up and they say "but I have autism" what if that person is really trying to say "I'm hot with a fever, I feel sick and dizzy. If I don't lay down on this cold floor to cool off I will collapse, having autism makes this unbearable for my body I can't cope with how it feels" some times people with autism just can't explain it the way they won't... Maybe that second things in their mind, it just dosent come out that way when they try and explain, and that's communication difficulties.
Alexithymia is pretty common among people with autism. I was diagnosed with it shortly after getting my ASD diagnosis, and I think there's many on the forums who experience it as well. It takes a highly empathic person/friend or an excellent therapist to be able to deal with it appropriately.
 
So people saying they have autism and thinking it's self explanatory when other people don't understand this, doesn't always mean they are using it as an excuse sometimes they explain better when they have had time to think about it
 
Alexithymia is pretty common among people with autism. I was diagnosed with it shortly after getting my ASD diagnosis, and I think there's many on the forums who experience it as well. It takes a highly empathic person/friend or an excellent therapist to be able to deal with it appropriately.
That's interesting. This is the 1st time I hear about Alexithimia. Had to Google it, looks like me to certain extent.
 
This got me thinking. I cannot say I have ever had anyone complain that I was using autism to get out of trouble or whatnot. I think that is terrible if that is happening to autistics. How about others? I am curious about others' experiences with that. I get along well with many people. I am not sure that I care too much about what people think of me or what their own behavior is except that I monitor whether things that bother me might also be bothering others (like noise, smoke etc). I will add that I do pick up on people saying things that appear to reflect that they are not perceiving how I feel correctly. It took me getting to my 40s to decide to tell people: "I am not mad (or anxious)...it is a neurological condition." They seem to totally understand that, I think. I sometimes say, "I am happy here because..." So you could say that I have learned to disclose that I have a neurological problem and that this prevents trouble.

I have friends who say I am "great in small doses" and I accept that. I doubt any NT would want to live with me though. I do control the social aspects of autism as best I can. I used to "take hostages" and deliver monologues to people [now I just write them and they can choose to read or not! :) ]

I always want to improve. I need a lot of quiet time away from people, though. I keep my door closed in the office. I sit in my car a lot. I have a terrible time with transitions. But above all, I have extremely strong sensory processing issues. The pattern of dystonia I developed actually now makes apparent my underlying wiring. So this limits a lot of desire to be in social settings, bright places. Certain sound and light frequencies make certain muscles contract involuntarily in ways that do not look humanly possible. I go to a Movement Disorder clinic. So you know how we all are wired to sync up to environment instead of just the micromotions of human expression and body language. Indeed I am an example of this being VISIBLE now.

I do (or used to) run into problems with NPDs but I understand that condition much better now and so do not get confused when I see shame-projecting and belittling. That condition suffers from a need to block the feeling of shame and will blame and shame to constantly deflect and manage this terrible feeling. They can "use" people to keep constantly adjusting how they feel. In a way it is a developmental disorder in its own right as this behavior is a normal phase at two different points in development -- and this as a wiring issue may be more analogous to secondary attention problems when exposed to violence and chaos in one's upbringing in that these disruptions of development cause wiring problems.

No matter what, even if I try to get by and manage with NTs, I always prefer auts because we auts view information as neutral and information cannot really cause an aut to feel put down or ranked. We are concrete and specific. I feel more comfortable with that. I make the mistake of offending NTs if I tell them something like "I think your lawn may have Brown Patch Lawn disease which is a fungus; Also, your tree has Pin Oak disease."

In any case, whether feeling social or needing to be away from people, I manage my strategies intellectually and by analysis and rules and not by some instinct that I do think NTs have and that is partly a motor reflex at birth.
 
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I've had many experiences with that, all for trying to explain my condition, lol it's ironic you finally find out the problem (for me just over a year ago) hope you can explain it and people will finally be able to fit in or be understood, then instead being accused of being rude, or using it as an excuse lol... It's worse when they people who do it claim to know autism is and to understand it and how it works. Now I just won't bother I will let people be nasty with me, and other people can tell them, maybe then they will leave me alone
 

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