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The Aspie Girl's Guide to Being Safe With Men: The Unwritten Safety Rules No-one is Telling You Paperback – February 7, 2013

by Debi Brown (Author)
4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 47 ratings
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Debi Brown understands from personal experience the potential dangers, pitfalls and misunderstandings teenage girls and women with Asperger syndrome may face in their encounters with men. In this important book, she sets out all of the need-to-know facts and sensitively yet honestly describes the more subtle social, emotional and safety issues surrounding dating, relationships and sex. Readers are guided through the practicalities of sex, and provided with helpful illustrative diagrams and sound practical strategies for staying safe in each situation. Clear, unambiguous advice is given on less tangible issues, including the importance of boundaries, what constitutes abuse and options for reporting suspected abuse. Crucially, the book advocates the woman's right at all times to say no to anything she does not feel comfortable with, and suggests safe and realistic ways in which to go about this. This straight-talking guide will inform and empower teenage girls and women with Asperger syndrome to live full and independent lives while staying safe. It will also be a source of valuable insights and advice for their parents and the professionals involved in supporting them.
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Previous page
  1. Print length
    176 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Jessica Kingsley Pub
  4. Publication date
    February 7, 2013
  5. Dimensions
    6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    9781849053549
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1849053549
  8. See all details
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Editorial Reviews

Review

Would I recommend this book? Absolutely. Debi's thoroughness, frankness and clarity make it an important book for a lot of girls and women, not just those who are Aspies. -- NAS

As an Aspie herself, Debi Brown has written warmly, startlingly honestly and from a position of knowledge... She has understood the fundamental truth, that to ensure a girl's safety, it is vital to educate her... Debi doesn't use innuendo or assume knowledge on the part of the reader... She lays it bare, and when it all gets too difficult (some of the subject matter is deeply challenging), she envelops you warmly with reassurances and kind words. You feel as though you are sitting having a heart-to-heart chat with your best friend. This beautifully written book should be essential reading for all young women, not just Aspies. -- from the foreword by Sarah Attwood, author of Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People with Asperger's Syndrome

Many female Aspies will identify with the sense of uncertainty and vulnerability surrounding sexuality and relationships, which Debi Brown conveys with great sensitivity and honesty. Like a reassuring friend, she guides readers through a carefully structured series of 'rules' about social support, intimate relationships and safety. Written with tremendous warmth, this book gives indispensable advice for females with Asperger syndrome, as well as being enlightening for parents, like me. I particularly enjoyed the personal experiences and insights Debi shared. -- Kate E Reynolds, counsellor, autism mother and author of Party Planning for Children and Teens on the Autism Spectrum and Sexuality and Severe Autism (forthcoming)

Book Description

Traversing the dating world, and staying safe and happy

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ 1849053545
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Jessica Kingsley Pub; 1st edition (February 7, 2013)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 176 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 9781849053549
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1849053549
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.2 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 6 x 0.4 x 9 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.5 4.5 out of 5 stars 47 ratings

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Debi Brown

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Customer reviews

4.5 out of 5 stars
4.5 out of 5
47 global ratings

Top reviews from the United States

Michelle Daley
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential book for Asperger girls
Reviewed in the United States on June 14, 2013
Verified Purchase
This book would also be useful for a parent teaching a young normal girl as it gives the concepts in plain fashion. It shows girls how to read situations and how to keep safe, where many of aspie girls fall into the naivety of men's ploys. What a young or older aspie woman thinks is just friendship is considered quite differently to many men and they take advantage of it leaving an aspie girl with the need for considering rape charges or sexual assault. While the world thinks that an aspie girl is stupid putting herself in this position, she doesn't know she is doing this. This can especially happen if she has been brought up without a positive father figure. I highly recommend this book for parents and aspie girls and brothers who look after their aspie sister.
23 people found this helpful
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Dolly's Mum
5.0 out of 5 stars Essential reading for girls and woman with Aspergers
Reviewed in the United States on June 10, 2013
I work with teenagers and adults with Asperger Syndrome and have heard many a horror story about females with Asperger Syndrome ending up in negative situations as a result of naivete and not understanding the unwritten rules surrounding relationships. How I wish every teenage girl and woman with Aspergers could read this book. It should be in every school library and would be an excellent resource not just for "Aspies" but for anyone who is naive or feels unsure or disempowered regarding matters of sexuality and personal safety. My own 19 year old daughter picked it up, she does not have Aspergers but is extremely shy and has found it very difficult to have self-empowerment in relationships. She started reading it and asked me if I could buy her a copy as she learned so much from it. Debi has written a wonderful guide to the "rules" about social support, intimate relationships and personal safety, covering such issues as boundaries both physical and emotional including saying no, trust, sexual anatomy and sexual contact, contraception, emotional healing and more. She shares her personal experiences and insights in a warm and honest way. I have never seen this type of information set out in such a clear and easy to understand way and I am very impressed with this book. Highly recommended.
23 people found this helpful
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Boyd Waters
5.0 out of 5 stars An "Aspie Girl" wrote it. Everyone should read it!
Reviewed in the United States on September 7, 2013
My wife found this book, thinking it might be good for our daughter in a year or two. I have read parts of it.

The language is so straightforward, honest, unflinching, brave. We are very grateful that this person was able to write it all down. Now everyone is able to sit down and think these things through, in a safe quiet place, so that they have a better chance of handling situations later in a way that helps them.

This is how the world gets better.
17 people found this helpful
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Vagner Vilela de Faria
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United States on July 16, 2014
Verified Purchase
Excellent. It is an indispensable book for parents and educators.
6 people found this helpful
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Barbara L. Gill
1.0 out of 5 stars Caveat emptor from the Autism Spectrum son of an Amazon customer.
Reviewed in the United States on May 16, 2015
A book like this gives the misconception, the stereotype that all males, autistic or not, are like this. That's just not true. I ought to know, I am an Autistic/Asperger's Disorder male still striving for the relationship arena.
3 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Kindle Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Aspies are human too
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 29, 2014
Verified Purchase
As a teacher of pupils on the spectrum I am always interested in the views of articulate aspies. Because the male to female ratio is very high, girls are often overlooked. In teaching sex education and relationships I have to be very careful and I like a text that says it like it is. Debi also reminded me that ASD is a developmental disorder and that one can have teenage emotions at any point in one's life. Understanding the world can be difficult for the neuro diverse but I think reading this would help. Thanks Debi.
4 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars There's two types of aspies, those who've read this book and those who haven't
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on January 6, 2017
Verified Purchase
An excellent book about the barriers that girls and woman can experience while learning about themselves and their relationships with others especially men, not that there's not this type of helpful advice available elsewhere but it is so much better explained for aspie girls when coming from someone who can fully empathise and who knows what she's talking about, everyone on the spectrum men and woman and all involved in supporting individuals on the spectrum should read this book.
2 people found this helpful
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Bernie Gatt
5.0 out of 5 stars Understand Aspergers and especially how it affects females
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on April 10, 2016
Verified Purchase
Great book for parents and carers and literate Aspi girls to read. Getting diagnosed and understanding about how aspergers affects us has been the very best thing that has changed a 47 year marriage!!!
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LMS
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on May 8, 2015
Verified Purchase
Good reference book for any young girl who struggles with understanding social skills
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lesley brooks
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on March 1, 2018
Verified Purchase
Amazing book easily written and understood by my 11 year old with ASD
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