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I ended up having my baby at home (under the Christmas tree)

My first child had been born 2+ years earlier, ultimately via an emergency cesarean, over the course of 2 terrifying days. While in hospital I counted 10 consulting docs/ OBs-- none of whom were my own doctor. Gong show. PTSD symptoms and PPD. Took a lot (mostly growing to love my unbelievable dtr. #1) to get me to try for a 2nd baby. When I did, I prepared in some non-medical/ non traditional ways, received some awesome counseling, and decided to go with midwifery care. Midwives seemed much more flexible and in tune with me. I was paying a $3500 fee for their service, so they certainly spent more time with me during pregnancy. Since I never went through labour with first birth (cervix hadn't dilated past 4 cm), it was expected that labour and birth of 2nd would progress in a way similar to a woman having her first child. I was set to labour at home, until I had progressed to active labour stage, then time to go to hospital (or go immediately to hospital if there were any warning signs).

I didn't freak out when early labour started, 6 days post-date. I felt like I was handling the contractions well, as they became more intense and regular. I was at my house with my toddler and mother-in-law while my husband was at work. By the afternoon, my mom-in-law was worried and asked that I call the midwives again. (I had been in touch by phone several times, and they had assured me that all was well and still early in the process). I called the midwife and this time was assertive, saying that I was in active labour. She flat out told me there was NO WAY that I could be in active labour and speaking to her on the phone in the calm manor that I was doing. She insisted that there was likely to be another 18 to 24 hours before baby would arrive.

A midwifery intern was sent over that evening to 'check on my progress'. She arrived in time to literally catch the baby as I gave birth to her by our front door. I had sent my mother-in-law and toddler to stay with other family. My perplexed husband and calm 10 yr old Lab retriever were my labour companions for the final stretch. I was able to get my posterior-facing baby to turn after many hours of grueling back labour, and she was born without any medical complications.

Once I came down off of cloud 9 (and feeling like a super woman), my midwives came to see me for debriefing--read: damage control. The midwife who'd spoken to me a number of times during labour maintained that I'd had abnormal precipitous labour; that in her vast experience, women did not go through their first labour experience sounding the way I did (logical, calm, quiet) during active labour stage. She didn't seem to believe that I had been in incredible pain, and feeling very anxious. She refused to admit that my reports of being in active labour had been essentially discounted because I hadn't "acted the way women act at that stage". I wonder now whether my Aspergers -related calm in the midst of intense stress made me a difficult read for this experienced midwife.

Birth of baby number 3 went a different way entirely-- story for another day.;)

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Maiki
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