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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Hi all. I have an aspie friend, he's the first person I've ever interacted with who has this so dealing with the emotional/social aspect of friendship with him is all new to me and I'm struggling.
I suffer high anxiety/low mood so when he has times where he goes almost silent on me my anxiety will kick in and I panic he doesn't like me anymore and I get needy and have the constant urge to communicate with him. (I've noticed a pattern where he'll txt me everyday for a couple weeks then barely anything for a couple weeks unless I make the first move)
I know this is totally the wrong move to make and I will likely push him away for real, and he does reassure me it isn't personal and he does like me but my brain tells me otherwise... I am working hard on stopping this.
I guess what I'm looking for is reassurance that this is something that happens to other people or that this is what aspies sometimes do, and maybe get some advice on what I should/should not say or do... I'm not...
I've been off and on with a guy who has Asbergers undiagnosed for about a year. I am NT. It's been quite difficult to even date because while he obsessively messages me daily to tell me how amazing and beautiful I am and how badly he wants to be with me again, (we've been intimate in the past) he refuses to make plans with me and hides in his room all day marathoning tv shows.
He doesn't lie to me when I ask. There are no other women I'm competing with. I don't know what imcompeting with honestly. And while it hurts he always tells me the truth. The truth is that he wants to be with me but also does not and he's incredibly confused about what he wants. I wonder if it's a case of both asbergers and him not being that into me (but he has had this issue with the last girl - who I was good friends with - she was confused also and then after she left he obsessively stalked her social media for a good year and a half. He already stalks mine. He's been single since I've...
it would seem that some people find certain Aspie characteristics attractive/appealing. We have always been bludgeoned with pictures of what we should find attractive/beautiful/appealing, either through adverts or models or movies, etc. However, is the conventional picture of attractive/beautiful really appealing or just accepted as such because we are conditioned/indoctrinated to accept that which is commonly believed to be attractive?
'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder' is certainly a very old saying, but there are very few who openly reveal that they don't agree with commonly held beliefs in this regard. In fact, many people have very poor self images/worth because they believe they are unattractive based on what society leads them to believe.
Personally, I do not find conventional 'beauty' to be attractive at all. I find that something which is different or 'quirky', or unusual looks to be attractive - it is difficult to describe, but I know it when I see it.
I have an obsession with sky gazing and awesome, beautiful landscapes. I'm sharing some of my hometown's natural beauty and would love to see your skylines and landscapes.
So I received my official diagnosis after taking on my current job. At the time, I wanted to say something to my job, but my NT wife begged me not to unless I needed to (performance review issues, write ups). So I kept things to myself.
A couple of months after that, I got written up specifically for social issues related to ASD. The short way to put it is that I was causing ripples in company culture, but that is because everyone was looking at me through a NT looking glass and thought I was an ass.
So I have a conversation with my boss about my diagnosis. He is a kind guy who is understanding. Outside of my staff, he is the only other person in the company who seems to have an open enough mind. However, in our most recent conversation, those social issues that there is that ASD black hole that I just can't get across were discussed. I even quoted my therapist so it wasn't sounding like me whining or anything. My boss was understanding, but then countered with "how can I expect...
Is anyone else amazed at how differently a work of art can be evaluated across different eras? Below are two contrasting responses - dismissal of vs. rhapsodies for Sylvia Plath's 'The Bell Jar':
5. THE BOOK WAS REJECTED BY AMERICAN PUBLISHERS.
When Plath received a $2,080 novel-writing fellowship associated with publishers Harper & Row, she must have thought that publication was a sure thing. But Harper & Row rejected The Bell Jar, calling it "disappointing, juvenile and overwrought." While British publisher William Heinemann accepted the book, Plath still had trouble finding an American publisher. “We didn’t feel that you had managed to use your materials successfully in a novelistic way,” one editor wrote.
From various online sources:
"The 100 best novels: No 85 – The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath (1966)" ... "acclaimed and enduring masterwork, Sylvia Plath brilliantly draws the reader into...
Does anyone get that?
I used to wake up feeling like the glue that held my cells together was getting all liquidy and it took an effort of will to literally "get myself together." Now, knowing I'm an Aspie, this feeling does appear with stress. It is a cue for me to get my makeshift weighted blanket (a heavy quilt I have folded many times) and lie under it. And I look forward to a real weighted blanket arriving next week.
I have improved my sleep with stress-reduction techniques, but this seems to be a particular Autism/Stress thing?
Just trying to figure things out.
Hello, this is my first post here. Nice to meet you all here!
So, I dated this guy for 2 years. At the beginning, I felt something was a little different about him, but I didn't care, because he was so hot, smart and charming. In fact, he is totally a genius type. Long story short, he turned out to be a super independent man and almost workaholic. He was always too busy to see me and we saw each other only once a month and had to skip all the fun events, etc, too, but insisted that he misses me very much. Yes he IS a busy man, but it got to the point where I started doubting his reasoning.
I am not going to list everything that made me think he might be on the spectrum, but I did so much searches, even talked with a professional in the field, and I am pretty sure he is. He had signs of both Aspergers and ADHD. He didn't seem to know, or maybe he did know because once he told me he feels he was different from others, but never told me he was on the spectrum. He actually took the...
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