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Asperger's & Autism Forum
I just want to say that since being here I've noticed people displaying amazing resilience, even through the stress and difficulties that are evident.
One thing though, that often slips even for the most resilient of us, is the WHY. The meaning and the reason to go on struggling through.
Without that, innate resilience and toughness built through hard knocks is just not enough.
Goals help a lot, and they give a reason and a focus.
For me, I have the following goals;
I want to give my kids the best start I can.
I want to build my business so it can help people.
I want to make enough money so that I can build a charity/NFP.
But some times even the goals are not enough, and I need a deeper reason.
The one thing that's helped the most is a deeper WHY that gives meaning to the struggle itself;
I may be going through hell right now, but I am building a story of resilience, and when I get through hell I will be able to help other people who are still walking through the fires....
Some weeks ago I posted a (long) story on the dating thread here but it wasn't...well...I probably made it too long and I didn't get any answers.
Long story short, I went out with an old friend from high school, she was my crush since then but I didn't do anyting because she had a boyfriend and our lives lipted up. Around a year ago (I guess) she broke up with her boryfriend and around june-july I contacted her (we've been facebook friends since high school and we had our cellphone numbers), we went out a couple of times just as friends, she invited me to her appartment and well I rushed too soon and told her how I felt about her through whatsapp, she told me thank you but she saw me just as a friend and didn't want to hurt me.
Like a month ago I told her I was aspie and that that's why I always was shy, that even when I didn't talk so much I value my friends a lot and probably went too intense and fast with her. She answered me it was ok but she wanted me as a friend and didn't...
Curious phenomenon noted on this forum: it's not unusual for a member to pour their heart out, or offer up pithy, well-intentioned advice in a long, nicely written post and they get...nothing. No "likes" or "atta girl!" just nothing.
The only other forum I am, or have ever been, involved with is quite different. Sometimes it seems as though just (figuratively) clearing one's throat gets applause. I have replied to threads about 2200 times; I've got over 37,000 "likes"!
I myself have been, and will continue to, "like", "funny", "friendly", and all the other options (I wish there were more), the heck out of as many of your posts as I can because I genuinely appreciate your taking the time to share, and I have been surprised by how often I have been deeply moved by things I have read here.
Y'all are on the spectrum of..."Awesometism"!
This is a very confusing and frustrating enigma...
I've always been completely introverted and intellectual, and spending time in isolation is not usually a problem for me. However, seemingly endless days and hours upon hours of habitual deep thinking, writing & reading sometimes have a way of driving me into a DEEP depressive state. I want to make some friends and have a social life. Other than being around my immediate family, I'm almost always alone and spend my days in loneliness. Although I don't care anything about mainstream team sports, I do love the X-games and most individual skill sports (e.g., rock climbing, biking, skateboarding, surfing, hang-gliding, archery, lumberjacks, etc.). I love the outdoors, nature & animals. I love camping, canoeing, fishing, hiking, trekking, biking, and all things scientific. I love my work (graphic design). I love model trains, R/C cars, planes, drones & helicopters. I love entomology and catching and mounting insects. I love...
Does anyone else get told that they know so much, but achieve so little.
Like an underachiever but applied to life?
How do you manage that? It may come with fear of risk taking perfectionism.
It's something that's often said and i've seen a few that were very striking !
This is me and was taken last summer , first chance to see me standing up , shocked ? , not claiming anything personally just interested in opinions.
I'm staying with my brother in a major U.S. city. For the past 12 years, we've barely spoken, mostly because of life and living far apart. We were young and care free and without responsibilities. A lot has changed since then. We are now adults, and in that time apart is when I was diagnosed with Aspergers. Needless to say, we are very different people. He is neurotypical, outgoing, extroverted. I'm not. Obviously.
We're butting heads because he doesn't "get it." He says I never say thank you or ask how his day went or how he's doing. I tell him that I'm sorry, I just didn't think of it, and that I do care. He says I don't show it.
He says I never talk to his partner or his friends, and that they find me awkward and being around me is awkward. I told him sorry, I just have poor social skills. I'm a listener, not a talker. He told me to get over it and start talking.
He says I never get out and do things. I told him I'm sorry, I don't understand the public transportation system,...
I am wondering what you thought of yourselves before you knew you had autism?
I was born into a religious family, so around 12, I was sure I was evil. The meltdowns were scary and I interpreted them through my religious beliefs. This was a huge burden for a kid and everyone kept telling me to give it to God and he would take. He sure did not take and did not even let me know what the trouble was!
After that a shrink convinced me that there was no god and that I was just mentally ill. Then a lot more shrinks said I was mental and I had so many dx's that some even contradicted one another. It got to be absurd. No single person could have the number of dx's I had. It was a joke.
Then I came full circle and thought there was a God again and he clearly hates me. No way that I would have gone through everything I did and there NOT be a god behind. Some seemed perfectly engineered to torment an autie, weird things, and the hits just kept coming with zero down time between them....
I'm talking about the one aspect of you that might help other people the most, however you choose to define it.
Imagine no restrictions, nothing holding you back.
What would you supreme power be?
I get business ideas and invention ideas, often very regularly, and have obsessive focus on them.
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