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Asperger's & Autism Forum
Does this belong in relationships?
What is up with virgin shaming? I thought it was limited to jock types and other related people but I even seen people who claim to fight for social justice resort to virgin shaming too. The idea is that virgins are “losers” for not making out in that kind of way. It’s also seems to be based on the huge value of relationships that society puts on people. It’s like being single or lonely is supposed to be a bad sign that you did something wrong as a person. I don’t agree with any of this. I find it worse when so-called progressives behave in this manner because I would think they know better. There could be several reasons why someone is a virgin. Some people don’t rush out to have a relationship. Someone could be asexual and doesn’t want that kind of connection. Maybe they just didn’t find someone yet. Even jerks and bullies can lose their virginity and it can be done in non-romantic ways.
No, seriously, how would losing my virginity change...
I can't stand the noise of those hand-dryers in public bathrooms. (The loud ones that blow air on your hands to dry them.) They have one in every bathroom in my school, so whenever I open the door to someone using the dryer, I get irritated.
Similarly, I can't stand the noise of blenders, power-tools, and motor-cycles. I have to close my ears whenever I use a blender.
Lots of clothes are irritating to me. I dislike jackets because they make me feel sick when I wear them. Nauseous. Certain types of sweaters feel annoying against my skin. Anything with a collar irritates me. Clothing tags irritate me, and I am aware that this is common among people with Autism. Wearing clothes in hot weather is irritating.
I get motion sickness in cars. I also get sick just from the smell of cars, similarly to jackets.
I'm sure that there are a lot more that I don't remember now.
I've been wondering lately if there is any correlation between Asperger's and misanthropy, or is it just me?
Maybe it's just my experiences and having any optimism about people gradually being beaten out of me at an early age. There are a lot of fake people out there, and from being on this site just a few days, I can already tell people on the spectrum have a hard time figuring out why everyone can't be honest, genuine and straight forward (Within reason. Sometimes honestly isn't the best policy). And not only that, but I'm sure many of us have been picked on for how we are, are unable to form relationships, been taken advantage of, etc., and that fosters resentment and hate.
Am I alone in this, or does has anyone else notice a correlation?
My friend told me today that my response in a situation I was in may have come across as rude to the other person.
I was sitting in a building on campus, doing some homework and minding my own business, when the guy sitting at the next table over (about 3 seats down) randomly asked how I was doing. I didn't know the guy, didn't realize he was even talking to me until I looked over at him after realizing he said something and was staring at me, and I was focused on my computer, not him, prior to this point. I couldn't fathom why he would want to talk to me. So I smiled awkwardly and continued working. I couldn't read his expression when I smiled. He might have half-smiled back. I'm really not sure.
Anyway, after messaging my friend about what happened and asking if I should do anything else, she told me that he may have considered my smile as an answer to his question to be rude. I asked if I was rude often, and the response I got bugs me a little. Apparently my behavior toward...
My mom had a very odd passing from cancer 4 years ago. I say odd because well, it was very odd and way more traumatic than it needed to be. Her old neighbor was a family friend and my mom put a lot of stress on her because no one knew she had cancer except for her. Finally I was told and I made my way there (I lived in another state). The neighbor let me stay at her house while my mom was in hospice. She always seemed very friendly and very welcoming and gave the best hugs.
Anyway, after my mom passed, I would periodically drop in if I was in the neighborhood visiting. She seemed really excited everytime I came. She even suggested she could come over for Memorial Day when we moved back to the state and got a house. She said she'd call. I was excited for her to visit and cleared the calendar. As the date got closer, I never got a call. I texted her and no answer. I just shrugged it off as she was busy. Well, I called her number a year or so ago, she said she was at work. She...
I started dating an Aspie a few months ago (I am not) and things started out slowly but we had a lot in common. After a few dates (we had already begun sleeping together, and it was very good), he told me he didn't want a serious relationship for a number of reasons (work, he wasn't good in relationships), but still wanted to remain friends. I got worked up over this, but we ended up getting closer than ever. We have still slept together just a couple times, but he ends up pulling back when we do. The thing is, we converse from the second we wake up to the moment we go to bed (mostly through text, but also through email and phone), share everything with each other, often sleep in bed together, and he's very affectionate with me. We've gotten into one big fight where he said something that seriously hurt my feelings and I was very upset and said I wasn't sure if we could continue on and he was crying so hard. We have discussed the relationship thing two or three times and his stance...
It bothers me when NTs say we do not show emotion. I have been watching NT faces a lot lately since I have been rendered deaf by having to use such massive hearing protection and music on top of it to survive the gym.
I notice THEY are the ones who use about two expressions.
1. That god awful, sh** eating smile they NEVER TAKE OFF
2. Nothing. Not even an upraised eye brow.
How can they say we have no emotion??? The auties and Aspies I know at a group I go to have MANY emotions, very slight indeed, but there. A tiny smile may show or a twinkle of the eye or a movement of the lips.
None of this is on NT faces.
I am thinking what they say about us is WRONG. It is not us who cannot read emotions. They think we have none because THEY are the ones who cannot read these slight and subtle and beautiful emotions we emit.
I see it all the time. NTs are flat, boring and do NOT show anymore than two or three emotions. Over and over I see this. Of course they think we show none because...
So, I get a phone call to ask if I want to join in a bible study today? I said yes, because it is nice to be asked and was given a time. However, I am really bad with the quarter two part. I can read the time ( I was taught by a boyfriend lol), but for some weird reason, when it is the left side of the clock, I get so confused and will work in digital format. I felt too embarrassed to say this to the person and so, thought well it cannot be etc etc.
She tells me that she won't text me but beep her horn, but I get into a panic, because I might not hear the horn.
I go out in plenty of time and wait and it was only after I had played a whole game on my phone that I realised something was amiss. She hadn't arrived!
By this time, my heart is pounding and I take courage and phone her. She answered with such a friendly, casual way and said: will be with you soon, just leaving now? So did I get the time wrong? Well, I guess I must have, because otherwise it would make her very rude to...
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