Aspies Central - Asperger's Syndrome and Autism Forums

1st thing, i'd like to mention. I say "real" life because I could't find another word to use. Because what is real life? Any life is real, right? Logic:-))) anyway, I think you know what I meant. Some people tend to say and do things that they would never do otherwise.
Many years ago...well not that many :-) I thought that Internet is like a world for your alter ego, but quickly realized that I personally felt very uncomfortable with the idea. I had a feeling that one day border between virtual and actual reality would become practically invisible, which would be a necessity to protect innocent from predators. So I made a decision to behave online the same way I do outside the Internet world. It was pretty much logical decision. Some might ask, what would you do if you didn't make the decision:-)) well...probably nothing... My alter ego has grown up a lot since 20s, crazy stuff bore her :-)))

"In real life" I'm totally social phobic. So yeah I'm different online. I actually talk to people.

Originally Posted by epath13

1st thing, i'd like to mention. I say "real" life because I could't find another word to use. Because what is real life? Any life is real, right? Logic:-))) anyway, I think you know what I meant. Some people tend to say and do things that they would never do otherwise.

You could say "in person" rather than "real life".

Yup - everything that happens in life is "real" . . . even stuff that happens online (despite what lots seem to think ).

Originally Posted by whale_bone

"In real life" I'm totally social phobic. So yeah I'm different online. I actually talk to people.

Same, but my social phobia isn't as bad as it used to be. I mostly experience social phobia in settings where I have to socialize with others. I'm usually fine in malls or stores where nobody really even pays attention to anything other than their groceries. But I still feel awkward in most social situations and avoid speaking to people usually for reasons other than social anxiety.

There are various reasons why I'm more open online than in person:

• Online I can cut off contact with people easily if they bother me. In person, I fear meeting people because I hate becoming "friends" with the wrong people as it can be very tough to get rid of people once they start liking me. On the internet all I'd have to do is block someone if I'd no longer want to associate myself with them.

• I'm self-conscious about my aspie traits and always assume that people judge me harshly for being physically awkward; people can't see my awkwardness online which makes me not be so self-conscious.

• I'm always paranoid that I'll offend people in person. Online I sometimes offend people (usually) unintentionally, but when offending people online it doesn't cause nearly as big of a problem as it causes in real life. I hate it when I never meant harm towards someone in real life and they start bitching at me for doing something that offended them.

• I don't share the same interests/views as most others and, as a result, avoid them as I've nothing to talk to them about. Online I can indulge in conversation with fellow weirdos about various misc. things.

I'm guilty of it, I've had people tell me how much of an ass I can be sometimes yet in reality I'm nowhere near that. Quite the opposite, in fact - I'm usually reserved and mellow, but on the internet if you can't stand your ground against idiots you're likely to get chewed up and spit out.

I can say that in the past when I first stumbled upon the internet that I came across as someone totally different than who I am now. It's not worth it, and if someone is so insecure about theirself that they need to resort to that kind of bigotry then to each their own I suppose.

I think my behavior online is similar to my behavior in "real life." It seems many people do mean or silly things online because it is anonymous, but I have no desire to be mean to people in any case, or to cause trouble. I'm still a little shy online too; I have to be in the right mood to be willing to post to forums.

Online I am usually more social and talkative than in person, however, in person I am now gaining more confidence and building up my social skills.

I would say that i am slightly more open when on the internet, especially when i feel a connection with the people i am talking to.

But in the real world i tend just to say what i think anyway, if i dont like some one i will usually tell them... I know its not the best way to deal with things but i hate grey.... everything has to be black and white

I talk a lot more online than I do in real life. The only time that I really talk in real life, is when I'm talking to my friends and coworkers.

I chat a whole lot more online than I would normally do IRL and I'm actually not as shy either.
But other than that, I'm pretty much the same both ways but probably more laid back perhaps?

I'm very socially awkward in person and would rather not start a conversation with someone for fear of messing up; I liken it to a game of catch in which the other person throws the ball to me and instead of catching it, it hits me in the face. It's like I get caught off guard with a certain question and I feel pressured into giving an answer straight away but struggle to phrase it correctly when on the spot and it comes out wrong. This is much easier online as I have more time to think about what I post and phrase what I want to say in a way I see fit.

To CJTheCreepingOne -
I understand how it is... nowadays I try to talk anyway no matter how disoriented I am at that moment :-) it's just sometimes my mind goes blank, in those situations having a conversation can be extremely challenging ... Love the ducks btw!

The only thing I do online that I cant do in person is talk to new people who I dont know yet. Other than that there isnt anything I would do online that I wouldnt do in person.

Originally Posted by epath13

it's just sometimes my mind goes blank, in those situations having a conversation can be extremely challenging ... Love the ducks btw!

I get that a lot when I talk. I find that I either lose my train of thought or can't think of anything to start a conversation in the first place. All I can think when somebody speaks to me is that the pressure is on me to keep the converation going and not spoil it for others around me, however irrational that may be.

And thanks... ducks rule!

Obviously people act differently in different parts of their lives, so if one considers the internet as simply another environment, then even behaviors that deviate from how one normally acts can still conceivable fit within one's "real" personality.

P.S. I'm sorry that I did not directly address the question, but I think that this post is relevant with regard to many of the other posts in this thread.

I'm naughty in online games usually because I am a girl so I can have some fun with all the hard up guys who don't get any. Its funny to wind them up.

However recently I've been very quiet on online games because I haven't felt like being social. But the above is how I met my husband in a way.

I'm usually more open online but I tend to hide who I am more so I can feel safer to be open. I'm usually very open about a number of things most people would hesitate to talk about in real life anyway.

Yes.
My online self is my real self. My in-person self, most of the time, is my mask.

No, I don´t differentiate from being online or being `real`.

Actually; everyone who is different online than he is offline I rather not put up with. Can't deal with two-face people with hidden, digital agendas.

That being said; I don't think I don't belong online in that sense. I fit right in with most digital miscreants... the big difference is, I'm like this in real life as well.

I've gotten comments about it a lot in the past how well I give a portrayal of myself online that also reflects how I am offline. People liked that about me. There's no hidden BS going on with me.

If anything it helped me, as well as others, to know what my deal is... people in the past opted out of friendships because of that. And some stuck around for years. If people can't handle the " online" me, they probably can't handle the "offline" me either.

It's not really like two faced King. It's more like what HelloDizzy is saying. You may be more yourself online. It's easier to open up when you are not face to face. And epath I don't see any way posable the line between internet and real could dissapear. I talk to people on here from places such as Canada the UK. I am from Indiana USA. I am pretty sure the chances of me ever seeing these people face to face in my life are very slim.

I am more open online than in person.

http://www.aspiescentral.com/adultho...t-version.html

For example- I would not have described this face to face.

I reveal more of my true self online. Most of my friends and all of my family think I'm just strange, not an Aspie. They don't know a lot of what I struggle with as a result. For example, things are tense right now between me and my husband because I had a miscarriage last month and it's affecting us in different ways. However I only told a couple people about it because it's over and I don't need pity, so when people ask what's up with me and him I just make something up. I also hide my religious beliefs in real life because of the stigma surrounding them, but I have a forum that I go to where I can speak freely about them with others like me. If I met any one of you in person, I'd be the same person I am online- because that's the person you know. People have formed in their brains this idea of who Cerulean is, and when I open up and change that idea they don't like it. So I usually just stay in the box they've put me in (like my family thinking I'm just odd) because I know if I told them I'm an Aspie they wouldn't believe me, and that would hurt more than having to stay in the box.

Originally Posted by Cerulean

I reveal more of my true self online. Most of my friends and all of my family think I'm just strange, not an Aspie. They don't know a lot of what I struggle with as a result. For example, things are tense right now between me and my husband because I had a miscarriage last month and it's affecting us in different ways. However I only told a couple people about it because it's over and I don't need pity, so when people ask what's up with me and him I just make something up. I also hide my religious beliefs in real life because of the stigma surrounding them, but I have a forum that I go to where I can speak freely about them with others like me. If I met any one of you in person, I'd be the same person I am online- because that's the person you know. People have formed in their brains this idea of who Cerulean is, and when I open up and change that idea they don't like it. So I usually just stay in the box they've put me in (like my family thinking I'm just odd) because I know if I told them I'm an Aspie they wouldn't believe me, and that would hurt more than having to stay in the box.

I understand. I also don't talk in much detail about religous beleifs. people get really offended and then will feel the need to pry for me if they don't think I';m beleiveing the way they do. I aget offended if people feel the need to 'pray' me into their way of beleiveing. All I say is 'I beleive what I beleive in my own way for my own reasons and I can't really explain it". And that sums it up without offending anyone (includeing me). I can't say I understand about the miscarage. I have had two neices who have had that happen and I would imagion it is difficult in ways one wouldnt understand other than going threw it. No pitty but I'm sorry for your loss.

Online : I am sexy, funny, clever, sociable, friendly and OMG-drop-dead-gorgeous.

In-Real-Life : Is irrelevant because we'll never meet. I am a mere shadow. Hardly, worth a real life.

I'm a lot more 'myself' online. In person, I avoid social interaction to the fullest extent possible. Here, among other regular normal Aspies, communicating just seems so much safer & easier.

I am confident enough to do anything in real life but it just would not be as much fun unless it was with close friends and fellow aspies around
to appreciate the insane behavior!

Originally Posted by Divrom

Online : I am sexy, funny, clever, sociable, friendly and OMG-drop-dead-gorgeous.

In-Real-Life : Is irrelevant because we'll never meet. I am a mere shadow. Hardly, worth a real life.

Hardly worth a real life Divron? It's sad that you feel that way. I'm sure there is a compleatley different veiw or yourself that you are not seeing.

Mmmm, had to ponder this one for a minute…

Conclusion:
I pretty much see everything I do as a human as real life and therefore I try to conduct myself in cyberspace as I do in my corporeal form, wherever I go I usually have a thin veneer of detachment to protect my soft gooey centre, but occasionally the façade is seen through and that tiny hidden kernel of wonderful me’ness is open to speculation and interpretation.
The first defence is always humour, so yeah, I think me on net = me in skin, which explains why it initially took me so long to venture into the ShoutBox LOL

Look, people are still people whether here or walking around, and me with Asperger's means automatic apprehension, that’s just how my brain deals with it ; ]