Do others find that they either trust people too much, or don't trust others at all, with little grey in between?
I find myself oscillating between the two, which while I intellectually recognise as unhealthy, I also can't seem to help myself. I guess I've had a few unpleasant encounters with people over the past few months alone, such as:
+ Failing my final social work placement because my supervisor decided, after 15 weeks of telling me he was going to pass me, that he was going to fail me on the last week, about a day out from my last day at my placement. Which then led me to being kicked out of the social work course that I'd been working on and off for about ten years, and having to change my long-term plans, as well as my career plans and degree;
+ Finding out that a bunch of people from another forum I go on have formed a Facebook group with one of the main intentions being to bitch about me, and someone wanting to "mess" with me [not that hard to do really when I've got Autism Spectrum Disorder and schizoaffective disorder - apparently I'm "paranoid" and I have "communication problems"];
+ Realising that my relationship with my ex was much worse than I thought it was - what I thought constituted "normal" behaviour in a relationship actually wasn't normal, and can be easily considered abusive [some people even described some of what happened as "rape" but for me, I'm not sure about that].
So it makes me firstly wonder, why do I put myself in these sorts of situations where it seems like I put my trust in entirely the wrong people? I feel so naive in that I never realised that people could be so malicious and duplicitous, and it's repeatedly. Then it makes me wonder why people react to me in such a way. Has it got anything to do with Autism Spectrum Disorder at all, or is it a personal failing of mine?
Sometimes I just think it might be just easier if I shut out everyone from my life and lived like a hermit. It goes against my nature because I do enjoy other people's company, but I'm a little tired of being repeatedly treated unpleasantly by people.